All Comments on 'My Young Ladies'

Your work is good, but it needs tidying up-grammar, tense, word choice, words intended but left out, that sort of thing. Those mistakes confuse and interupt the flow. :You need someone else to do a final edit on your material. You are too close to it, and can't do final edit on your own stuff.

Glad it worked out for you!! Quite enjoyed this!!

Yes, your grammar is a little untidy but the story was hot and you told it well. By the way, greetings from a fellow Aussie.

Great story, but 1 thing...If you ever did penetrate a woman's cervix with your penis, she would be screaming her head off. The contractions during birth are the cervix stretching to allow the baby to leave it. Now way that happens with just a " Thank You ". A little research goes a long way. Keep up the work, otherwise fine.

instead of just saying halley and sam had babies, you should have written of how both were in hospital, screaming in pain as they give birth to his children.