All Comments on 'Fall Cross Country...'

Even though it's been done before, you pulled it off nicely. Well done!

Trite? Hackneyed? Clichéd? Formulaic? I say; "Yes, Yes, Probably, and Maybe So! But it don't mean a thang! 'Cause I LOVE A Happy Ending!" And this story a thoroughly enjoyable read, delivers a happy ending BIG time. I am so glad StangStar06 has managed to grow a pair, after his/her last couple of dismal tales about male humiliation and wimpdom I was about ready to add him/her to my short list of bitch writers that I do not read because they consistently denigrate men, and just plain suck. Do I detect a real man's GM or MOPAR in the near future? Please, no more "MouseBangs." LOL!!!!

could have been a good story , I liked the plot but what put me off was having to read all the dialog of the southern woman . Why do writers make everybody from the south sound like they have only a 3rd grade education ? it really ruins things reading dialog that amounts to a white version of a scumbag rapper giving an interview . Many writers write the southern dialog out normally and mention the accent as you go along .That would have made this story quite a bit better . I do hope you take this as constructive and keep on writing as your husband characters have balls and dont put up with the cheating . LW needs all of that we can get .

Fun, fun,fun I don't care if some of it was done before.

Well executed. Cheating, self centered wife gets the shaft,

How could it be better than that?

Well thought out, the husband was not a fool, and didn't go for revenge. Just walked away with his head held high. Thank You.

I really liked it. Good guy gets a great woman and dumps a bitchy cheating tramp. Nicely written, and nicely thought out.

How about some more like this? We've had enough wimpy loser stories, more like this would go a long way to adding some fun to loving wives.

Thanks for a fun story.

From the writing and to the editing,both were done in excellence. The storyline or theme was original and the ending was happy. What more could one ask for.

Thanks for the entertaining story.

background or character development.How could anyone care about Kathy? Man, is it easy to get a woman preggers on lit!!!

Fun story. The southern belle reminds me of my wife. Without the witchcraft and cowboy boots. It is amazing what a man can see when he is not wearing the glasses of looooove. Is it not?

He got very lucky. She was beginning to wear out, but a short circuit occurred and she made the trade-in easy! From her point of view, life is hell!

He is going to have to be careful, a witch could trade him in at any moment!

wife and husband are BOTH cheaters, no heroes here.

he leaves his manipulative cheating wife to cheat and love a new manipulator. not your best work.

Anon must not have read the story, which was excellent

He did nothing with Angela until after Kathy was served

loved the charators especially the very small touch of magic in the witch

but it was hidden in a lot of choppy dialogue and excessive attention to Angela's accent. Seriously, you don't have to put every line of dialogue on a different line. It breaks up the flow of the story.

Holy shit... how did I miss this one.... 100% fabulous story.... loved the whole southern belle smoking hot momma thing...

wow

Why aren't you writing more? This was very good and left a lot to the readers imagination, yet tidied up things nicely. Excellent

Well I have to say, WOW! It is great to see we have another great writer on the site that can put words together in such a way as to hold the reader's interest and work his/her imagination. You have joined my bookmarked group of elite writers. Keep writing and posting so we lesser mortals can keep reading. Congratulations and thanks.

Really enjoyed this one, but tell me, where can I find myself a witch like the one you wrote about? Oh damn, thats right, they find you. Looks like I am out of luck. The character development ... the bitchy wife, the loving husband, the bewitching witch and lets not forget the amoral coach ... was nicely done. I easily got a mental picture of all of them.

Entertaining, a good fun read...Thanks!

Why can't she just want a younger better fuck and get it? Why do woman need an ulterior motive. Sometimes the side dick is just BETTER.

Nice well written story which is long enough to cover the subject decently and short enough to make it erotic!

You have a tremendous imagination and range in your story plots. They are also well written. Congratulations.

Would you please learn how to write dialog. Don't start a new paragraph until the person stops speaking. Then change paragraphs for the next speaker and so on.

A fun read. Thanks.

I loved this one, it was a joy to read, and being a witch, (or warlock if you prefer) it gave me that warm feeling all over. A great job of writing StangStar, my compliments to a good writer. R.T.

The pre-destiny theme was great here - Angela is down right FUN!

I am beginning to see some extreme consistency in your cheating wives - very one dimensional, simple minded, selfish, numb to the world around them, careless and beyond arrogant. Not too far from the mark for many women out there but certainly I would not think they are quite so dominant, even in the world of cheating bitches.

I also agree with the comments here and in the past about containing an entire persons current comment or statements in a single paragraph then moving to the next character - it would help us keep track of the conversation much more easily.

As always thank you for your time and effort and letting us read the fruits of your labors,

Is such a fun read that I just had to do it again, and a expected, it was fantastic even more than the first time.

Not what I would call a sexy story but it certainly was fun.

in your stories. in nearly all of them the women are very one dimensional, the have little or no personality at all ( im referring to the cheating wives here) it be nice to have a story where her reasoning goes beyond 'i was bored/lonely/felt ugly etc..

nevertheless i still enjoy your stories very much

DWmoron

must

go

DWmoron

must

go

is like a virus

anti-virus time

DWdipshit

DWdipshit

keep

up

the

good

work

keep

up

the

good

work

is like a virus

anti-virus time

He may not have done anything with Angela(who appears to be mentally retarded)but wouldn't his kids think that he was just as bad as the mother afterall he fucked Angela a day or two after leaving Kathy. Speaking of kids what kind of sick piece of shit wants to show his daughter her mother having sex with another man does he hate his daughter that much that he wants to fuck up her life by showing her that. What a total cunt.

Simply loved Angela.

By definition while legally married they both are cheaters, but by law Kathy only is. Kathy had sex while legally married and never file for separation, Mike did. So in a divorce what Mike and Kathy does now would not be allowed in a divorce court as cheating since the divorce papers are in effect. Thinking of and wanting to have sex with someone other then your married mate is not adultery, but don't tell the other about what you think and feel because it could lead to a divorce. People will have fantasies all the time, even married people, its when you act on them that can get you into trouble. So Mike and Angela started have sex after he served her the divorce papers. Even Kathy's own attorney wasn't going to go after Mikes because he knew it started after Kathy being served.

They are NOT both cheaters. Only Kathy is. Mike is just more punitive, and it is fair to question how much he really loved his wife. However, I think he had fallen out of love with his wife because of her silly behaviour and then her cheating was the final straw. He couldn't really help his feelings for the witch, and it's a completely different topic, imo, because he doesn't strike me as the type of person to cheat; he'd probably just divorce his wife first... and if you read the start of the story, his wife was the only thing that mattered to him, so it was mostly the way she made him disillusioned with her behaviour that made him fall out of love with her and in love with another. Add to that, it is a character fault to just go after a woman just because you're enamored with her looks, and it was possibly why he fell in love with his wife in the first place, and that was his only problem.

some pretty stupid women - i mean dumb - really dumb. i always give you a 5 - but how about a woman or two that is not so stupid she would actually outsmart a mud fence.

I'll take a witch over a bitch, for sure. Thanks for the entertainment!

A witch is a bitch with a sharp tongue. You don't want either. Just saying.......

good story. wanterd more of angela and mike post kathy.

I've read a lot of these cheating stories lately; got interested right after the Paula Broadwell-David Patraeus thing went public. I felt bad for the woman's husband. Now after about 200 of these stories it's kind of clear; all but a few of them are for pissed off jilted husbands who probably deserved to lose their wives. Especially the guy named anonymous. Your stories, like this one, seem to be more the fairy tale; they're just fun to read. Who wouldn't want to be singled by some beautiful, lithe, small breasted southern belle who knew just what it took to please a man. Then shit; I realized I married her back in 1969, and she still knows exactly what buttons to push, and that's after six kids! I like your stuff. Of course this was a five.

Needed a hound dog.

Chuckle

Thx!

Angela is a wonderful character. Its too bad that Kathy is made off the wall skanky.

5*

"she sometimes wondered herself why she treated him so badly. Kathy knew that it was probably her own insecurity"

She's insecure, so she treats him badly? That's so counter-intuitive, if she's insecure she should treat him like a king!

Putting the juices on the chicken kinda.. ruined it for me like just wtf. I also found the southern thing you did in the dialogue to be a bit excessive. It was good though 3*

Although your proposal would be the logical way to act when feeling insecure, usually, at least in my life-experience, people manifest insecurity by going on the attack and belittling those they proclaim to love most. They think there won't be any consequences by taking their fears and frustrations out on someone who loves them. Of course those same people are the ones that have the greatest ability to hurt you should they decide you've gone too far and they no longer love you...

I am continually amazed by the ugly one of the couple, the one that did not age well and gets angry at his/her mate because they look better than they do. Then to go and screw around on them and try to excuse yourself with some of those rationalizations which we all hate, it makes you want to shoot them in the head for their stupidity. Good story, Stang. And thank you, whomever did the editing and made it so we could read it (well, that's what he said).

thanks for the enjoyable story.

I am surprised you didn't have her use the southern pronunciation of

loo zee anna.

When are you gonna learn how to use quotation marks? Stop making it so hard to figure out whose talking.

Hey! that's luziann - forget the last "a" RB...

You need an editor. Horrible writing, very hard to follow and understand.

what a fucking asshole this annony is!!! Gave you a 53fcd

And it can be very distracting. She sounded like she may have been from Kentucky and Louisiana at the same time. It was an ok story and I didn't like the calling Bert to manipulate Mike thing (too close to home) but overall it was fun to read.

Thanks

The story was excellent; I gave it a five! The writing was so bad I almost decided to quit reading it. There were too many problems to list. If a good editor rewrote this, every voter would give it 5 stars!

We learned there were three of them. A son was a runner. Mom and dad volunteered at school events. "While Jeff was in school he became a runner like his dad, so Kathy and I morphed into track club parents" And then we were introduced to Tommy. Did I miss the university graduations and marriages?

from bad decisions and marriages. TK U MLJ LV NV

I love it when a fellow bayou girl from Louisiana gets the guy. Geaux, Angela.

I am an Australian and I heard a gorgeous woman talking she said that she is from Louisiana and man I could get aroused just listening to her! Oh were was I ? Oh yeah! The story is Fantastic! 10 stars = 100 %. Love you all! Bye. Greg.

3 stories in a row that I liked. I feel a great disturbance in the force.

Maybe it will get better if I stuff "TK U MLJ LV NV" up Tazz317's chocolate starfish.

Outside of the fact it went from XC to Track season in a week it was a great read!! Only a running junkie would recognize that tho

Wherein the good guys (and gals) do, indeed, get what they deserve. Even young Tommy gets to ride off into wherever with Sarah, his dream girl.

Here's a toast to Mike and Angela and their passel of kids, wherever they may be livin' and lovin' these days.

Nice story. Enjoyed it thoroughly! Doesn't have to be complicated to be good.

Thanks for the effort

An entertaining and amusing tale, loved it.

Sometimes simple and direct is best!!!!

The vivid way you described Angela made her sound like sex on wheels. How appropriate that the story featured a Mustang. Loved it!

I especially liked the Angela character! 5*

Somehow, there’s a good deal of humor in this cheating wife ordeal. It’s almost uplifting, how Mike simply doesn’t let his wife’s cheating get him down, and moves forward almost immediately.

it was fast not any remorse. slap hapy papy #9

I.like men who don't mess around when they are wronged. Angela was a catch.

Like My Dad always said " Don't get Mad , Get even " I Loved the ending of this Story

Loved it. Got more of those southern 'witches'?

......Hey Hey Goodbye !!!!!!

Phenomenal story, 5 Stars !!!

He screwed somebody before the divorce so he's a cheater too.

Fucked On Race Day.

Angela sounds like the perfect future wife!!! She might screw him to death!!!

loved the humor. Not all of these LW stories need to be so dreary. As always, no nitpicking from me.

Who is the snake oil pedlar at the end?.

fun story , thanks so much .

5*

Really great when it was tied in with the three nuns.

Great story that needs to be expanded on please. Or put the tie-in stories together in a book and I'll buy it.

Always like your stories, mate!

I have read this story 3-4 times now and it gets better each time. Thanks so much Stangmeister for once again hitting my funny bone with your great sense of humor! KUDOS

I have read all your stories both on here and the other site and I’ve not found one I didn’t enjoy.Very talented

Lots of fun, and pretty good

You really need an editor to help with transitions, and assigning dialog, and clearing up a bit of pronoun usage.

I hoe you find one, because your work deserves it!

loved this one .

thanks for your hard work

five stars

Really enjoyed this one. Like them all but this one rises above the rest

Hell, it don't get much better than this! LP

Great story, does anyone know where SS06 is writing now?

It takes one week to draw up divorce papers....bullshit!! Kathy the slut

Angela's character was written so poorly!!

Mostly LOL but well written and funny.

For some reason I enjoy your stories with a little magic in them.

I would add one line where after complaining about all the scratches after going up the trail, he noticed Angela didn't have a mark on her.

Great tale, a really fun read! Love the witch you you crated! A delightfully lovable gal!! Thanks!!