All Comments on 'A Twist of Destiny Bk. 02'

I loved this story!!! And I am sad that you have wrapped everything up so nicely. Please consider revisiting this world again in the future, because I for one would love to read it!!!!

It takes real talent to craft such a very entertaining story. What an imagination you have! I'm grateful, appreciative & honestly admiring of your skill & ability. Writing of this level, that draws the reader in so totally to the story is a gift. It's so satisfying to read (on many many levels). Thanks for the pleasure & the entertainment. Here's hoping you write other books in this delightful 'universe'. Wishing you all good things & many more creative 'urges' that you choose to share with us all :-)

Cheers

I loved reading the second installment of this story. Please consider either a continuance or spin-off of this story. You have a tremendous talent. Love to see more of this type of story from you. Thank you so much for the work that was put into this story.

The correct name for a just-fertilized egg is "zygote", not "embryo". The embryo stage occurs much later (several days) after the zygote becomes a "blastocyst", cracks open the egg, and implants in the womb.

Cloaking technologies are under active development. Search slashdot.org for news items on the subject.

The hero of the story can create antimatter and do teleportation. That should have sufficed to quickly destroy enemy ships (not to mention "Hoth", if enough antimatter is teleported), without risking Leviathan.

Hey. First, just want to say I absolutely love this story. One of my favorites to read, along with the first.

Now, a question. ""Nothing," he said as he glanced coldly at Leviathan. "I, uh, was just checking to see who stopped by. Uhm... I think I'm going to go work on my project outside."" This quote makes it seem as if Leviathon does something evilish in the future, and Darren learns about it when he grew those two years. But, the ending of this story makes it seem as if this is your last book in this story.

So, is it safe to assume that this story is over with, or will you be writing more? Me, I really hope you write more, I absolutely love everything about it.

Darren's sudden discomfort around Leviathan was due solely to the fact that he knew that Leviathan would soon be dead. I mean, how would YOU behave if you saw someone you knew as a friend of your family and knew that they would meet an ugly ending? You couldn't tell them because it would disrupt the flow of time. It'd make you pretty damned uncomfortable to be around them, wouldn't it? Maybe not you particularly, but the average teen (especially one as kind-hearted as Darren) most definitely would feel kind of awkward.

As for whether or not this will be the last in the series... I honestly don't know. My gut is saying that, for now, the tale of David Shayles is over. But I readily implied that, two hundred years down the road, NightShade and his fellow Guardians (and there'd probably be more by the time 200 years goes by) are still fighting for Humanity. So who knows, really?

This portion of the story, though, weighs in at just about 160,000 words, which is novel-length. With some adjustments here and there it could easily be drafted into a book that you might find on the shelves of a bookstore (if they all don't end up closing their doors soon, that is). I might do that someday. Or I might continue the series with a whole new set of adventures and challenges. Anything is possible. But, for now, I'm done working in that particular universe- done with writing *anything*, really, for a short while. I need a break.

This has been a FANTASTIC read! The sex and sci-fi a harmonious blend which made this story a must-read work of fiction. Who cares whether the fertilised egg is an embryo or zygote? Details like that are for scientists, not readers of erotica.

Well done, Nightshadow. I hope your next story is half as good as this has been. This will be one hell of an act to follow.

5/5

Thanks for the quick answer. Sorry if the question was stupid, it's just when I see the word coldly, it makes me think that they are pissed at the person, and why would you be mad at the person when they died saving the world? But at least I understand your way of thinking now.

Again thanks for the great read. Absolutely love these two books.

Congratulations. What a powerful and delightful story.

Thank You

Rusty

the absolute best story, even if there was no sex the plotline is amazing. Worthy of a screenplay or movie. What an imaginative peice of writing. I have never commented about a story here, your talent is the reason I took the time. This is so much more than a whack peice. It is marketable, and I hope you persue developing it beyond an intrnet posting. I look forward to telling everyone I read it when you were not famous yet. truly a scifi story on a level wth the greats.

Does this story and it's other half exist in PDF format or any other text file we can download. Not to publish or anything but there is a novel here and this story should exist outside of Literotica. We could copy and paste the whole thing but that seems a little disrespectful.

Loved the story and others you have written. Keep up the good work.

Wow. That's about all I can say. This was a fantastic story in every way, even if I did get lost a bit with some of the time travel nearer to the end.

This would have been a great story even without the sex but that kicked it up to 6 stars by my reckoning.

This has got to be the best story ever that I have read on here! If I could, I'd give it 10 stars not just 5!

One of the best stories I have read. I have one observation. Why did you not have father and son have sex also. Love is love and should know no boundries. It just seemed to go with your ideas. You have a great imagination. Thanks for the story.

D.S.

Having now read every story you've written on here, these two books, are the best out of all of them. I couldn't stop reading, to the detriment of other work to be done around me. I was actually kind of hoping that Tommy might fall for one of David's daughters or even Holly, he seemed like a very nice and sweet guy when he matured a little and I thought would make a great edition to the Shayles family. I was extremely sad to see him go but it was a very honorable death.

The ending seemed a little abrupt but I suppose going into the battle to crush The Horde could seem just like repeating yourself over again. But there is so much time in their lives that could fit in so many more books that I hope it gets considered. And I loved that at the end, it had been him telling his story that we were reading. Very nicely done.

I hope that you revisit this universe soon and enjoy your time away from writing. Hopefully not too much time away, everyone holds their breath waiting for what you will publish on here next.

First of all, Renewer, thank you for all of the comments you've made on my stories- all of them. I've read every comment and have been flattered like you wouldn't believe. I write stories, mostly, for my own enjoyment and share them on the long-shot hope that someone else out there will enjoy them, too. It always pleases and encourages me when someone, anyone, leaves supportive remarks such as yours. Critiques (intelligent, respectful ones!) help just as much and are just as deeply appreciated.

The death of Leviathan was, to be honest, as much a surprise to me as it was to anyone else. It certainly didn't figure into my overall concept of what would happen in the story. Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on your perspective), a story can sometimes take on a life of its own and you, the Writer, should allow it to unfold the way it wants to rather than forcing it to go in a direction you'd prefer. "Always listen to the characters- it's *their* story, really" is what I've always told myself. So far, that philosophy has allowed me to create some really fun and exciting fiction.

Will I write more for this story's universe? Quite possibly. I've been kicking around an idea or two for a sequel- nothing set in stone yet, but a few blurbs started in no particular order. I'd like to work them and the other ideas I have into a working piece. I hope I will, anyway. Writing, for me, is a bit like the flu: sometimes the bug bites you harder than others. In this particular case what started out as an idea for a short story to be written in a few hours turned into a full novel-length story in less than 20 days! I can't say when or how, but I pray that I'll have more to add in the future. I've got other ideas for other stories, too, which I have yet to do any solid work on... yet.

I'd like to thank you as a writer who works in the incest and time-traveller genres of erotic lit myself. After far too many camping trips, trapped in a snowstorm or big brother or sister is babysitting their pervie siblings, cousins, etc a storyline with these and other sci-fi genres encapsulated in it... even something for the trekkies, how cool is that? I gave you 5 stars but I'd rate this story much higher if I were able to. Thanks.

i loved this. i really do hope you do a follow up maybe with david's kids taking over the guardians or something

Excellent story. Robert Heinlein would have been proud. To me there is no higher praise.

Let's start with "bloody awesome", "mind-blowing sci-fi", and "impressively-tightly-wound time-travelling".

On the time-travelling aspect alone, I'm astounded at just how tightly you've managed to keep events. Many science fiction authors trying their hand at time travel don't manage to resolve things as effectively as you have.

For the rest, it's by far the best science-fiction story I've ever read, on this site or not.

I loved this story from start to finish. Was wondering if you had made any progress on the next story(if you are going to do another story).

Very nicely done . Very good work I was enthralled the whole time and I enjoyed the incest parts too.

but the concept that David's family is THE PERFECT DNA LINE; argh, I mean C'Mon; there will never be any change introduced? The reason that LIFE has survived is because it has evolved over the years due to survival of the fittest. Hell; you didn't even allow for breeding between the other 25 candidates; most who had unique POWERs that Davids and his offspring never can because it's NOT in their DNA. What they have NOW is only good for NOW, not necessarily for 1000 years down the road.

I may have complete immunity to a disease that my great-grandfather fought off; the disease may not occur for 200 years then come back and completely obliterate his family. Get it; they may not have any defects, but it doesn't mean that they're perfect! Maybe someday their will be a way to extract DNA from every person on the planet and pull the best LINKS merging them all. But In-Breeding will NOT do it!

This story could've gone entirely without the SEX; it was a sideline. The Incest here was way too over the top; planning for sex 2, 20, 40 years down the road amongst themselves, mother, son, daughter, 2nd & 3rd daughter? Then there was David breeding with himself to create Grace; then those 2 perpetuating an entire race? We didn't need the descriptions of that particular activity; it really turned me OFF.

DKP

This series is TERRIFIC!! I couldn't get enough!!

Is there any chance for a third???

Thanks so very much for writing and sharing.

To the naysayers and harsh critics: it's fiction folks!!

Get over yourselves! Write something better if you can :P

I have never left a comment before but i felt the need to express my thanks for a very interesting story. Would love to see it published in main stream outlets but i think the general public might not like the sex. Got to say the "go fuck your self" concept blew my mind. A third book could be possibly all that excess water landing on Mars and Kelly could green up the place. A few other adventures over the centuries would be entertaining. Thanks again

While the explanation of Aventine's name is good from a reader's perspective, it seems strange coming right on the heels of them learning everything there was to know about each other. They'd have all knew already why she chose the name. If you were going to edit this into a novel, it'd make more sense with that explanation found earlier in the story.

Next, several plot holes which don't really need to be closed, although it might certainly help if they were at least thought out in the story so that there would be explanation of why they wouldn't work.

Given that the Horde's fleet was armed and capable of reaching Earth within a short period of time, it would have made sense to disable them prior to dealing with the more slow-moving asteroid they'd summoned. It seems like a rather severe tactical error which resulted in the death of Tommy.

Further to the point, it seems like either NightShade, Grace, or Tank had abilities that could have been used toward the ice: telekinesis, teleportation, the ability to transform matter, and the ability to create a gravity field (which is basically what a tractor beam is). Tank's ability seemed to require some degree of nearness, as did NightShade's and Leviathan's; but Grace's abilities were supposed to surpass her father's in this particular aspect. Having them all draw blanks when alternate ideas were fielded doesn't really make sense.

Last, Leviathan had the ability to phase himself and to "fly", or translate himself through space while phased. While this would be a long shot, I half expected himself to phase and then translate himself back into Athena. I don't know the limitations of his speed, but it would've been a nice touch to have him miraculously survive. It does seem odd that he could phase himself, and apparently what clothes he wore, but could not phase his spacesuit.

Had a great read with your story. Hope you do a Book 3!

Fantastic read and it was too short and not too long.

You would make Robert Heinlein proud.

Lazarus Long, Dora the ship, the two female clones of himself and retrieving his mother from the past were all echoes in your story.

I particularly like the hermaphrodite and auto-sexual conception of Grace then expanding that by an order of magnitude to create his "own race".

Thanks,

RJ Jennings

Well! That's it for me, folks. I'm done. That compliment is the highest, greatest praise I could have ever imagined or hoped for. I certainly never expected it! I mean, how in the world could I follow up after a compliment like that? Comparing me to the Grand Master? I, sir, am beyond humbled!

Story keep surprising me this is so awesome. You really have a great talent :) and I hope u continue to write many other stories like that

The others have said it better than I could. However, I wonder if you wouldn't be more comfortable writing it as a screenplay or an illustrated novel.

I'd LOVE to see this as a graphic novel! However, I don't know of any artist who'd touch this with a ten-foot pole. The sex and incest themes alone would probably keep the majority of artists who could do this justice at bay. Plus, it's not exactly a short story, y'know? There's a LOT going on here. A graphic novel of this magnitude would be a massive undertaking that could take years to produce. The kind of project would require significant financial support, which I certainly don't have and I can't imagine ANY comic production company investing in (again, the incest and sex themes are prohibitive). It's a nice idea and a wonderful pipe dream, but entirely unrealistic. Alas.

Hello nightshade,

I just have to tip my fedora to you, I stayed up half the night to finish reading this 2 books, not only because of the sex fantasies but the story itself! You have a wonderful way of writing and caused many giggles and laughters on my side. Keep up the work, you are really gifted!

I just have one small point of critic to say: I was kinda disappointed by the end of the story as it seemed to be rushed and not really thought through, little bit like you just wanted to finally get to the end (like Babylon 5 series xD ) I would really appreciate it if you would review and maybe rewrite some of it, like take in a little bit more of the death of Leviathan (he is the "tragic" hero here and somehow doesnt get the honors if you get me) and how the rest played out. I know some writers like to leave the end to imagination, but yours is just too good, i dont think a lot of people (me inclusive) can find a way to end it for themselves to full satisfaction. Like that short paragraph about with Major Hannis just got me confused... How can they have a conversation about The Horde in the past, what happened there? How is it possible for NightShade to life 200 years? I mean enhanced DNA is all right and stuff, but you never mentioned immortality and only scraped along the possibility of stopping ageing with Holly, but never really put the foundation there.

I really enjoyed the novel though, just thought it might be nice to have an ending written in the same fashion you did the whole story :)

Sincerely,

SmokinHornet

Dear NightShade,

There are Graphic Novelists who can make your story into their art. Word to the wise, though. Most of them are Japanese. You'd think they would be into squids, but no. Some of them will actually do this for you. Whether they take commissions or not you would have to find out for yourself. So keep doing what you do best!!

Sincerely, Arkain Nosgata

If Society catches onto your work and tries to shame it, they can take a chapter out of David's book and go fuck themselves hard until the embryos catch. -_- That's my point of view, anyway, so I don't mean any offense.

I must say what a sick twisted and fucked up mind you have. What would have to be without a doubt one of the best mind blowing stories I've ever read, fucking amazing. BUT I have to agree with the other comments your ending ended far too abruptly. there's a few unanswered questions that needs to answered and you could have easily gone into a Book 3 with this story it's just soo good ...Other than that. WOW

Fantastic story! Excellent plot and story line and an amazing read. Congratulations.

This is the third time that I have read this story, and every time that I do I cannot put it down. I truly loved it. I'm not much into Sci-Fi, but this one I liked.

I am a Trekkie and had a hard time putting this down. I went to bed late and got up early "thinking" about this story! I LOVED it!! Everything bout this story was just wonderful and if you ever decide to write and get published, I want to know the names of your books so I can buy them. You are an excellent storyteller and your thoughts just flow. Please write more whether it's for a contest or not. Thank you!

I think this is the best story I've read on here. Yes I am a sifi fan . I thank you for the fun I had reading it

:-D

I loved this story, more more

Yep, I was with you right up to page twelve, then I stopped reading and jumped here to leave a comment. I'm all for the protagonist and not much on sharing, especially when it's done like this. Son waits till dad is gone from the planet to come up with an idea that gives him a chance to become alpha male, really? Mom doesn't mention on the sub-space radio "oh by the way, your son is now magically two years older and wants to fuck mommy, how's that sit with you?" Nope, presented as a done deal, AFTER the fact. It doesn't matter to me, and I actually prefer mom-son incest, but if you start with dad, daughter and mom enjoying sex and love, stick with that. Introducing new dicks doesn't work for me. Sorry, but I'm an alpha and I know another cock in the mix wouldn't work if I were in the MC's shoes.

Great story, read it all, hope to read more.

Book 3 is a must. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Well done

You've just taken the likes of Star Trek, Battlestar Galactica and all the rest to a brand new level!!!

To take a quote from Lionel Bart's musical 'Oliver' "Please Sir, can I have some more??

I was totally surprised by this. I was not expecting such a huge story. Thought it was going to be more of a sex story but you actually made a book. I loved it. I wished you could've added in some more stuff. Would've made some points a little bit clearer. But I loved it. I wish you could make more of these. If your making a third please do or another like this. Please make more. I was glued to it. Thank you

i loved it. i could read more about this legacy please continue

What dikupinya said

Originally I started reading this because of your other arousing stories. I must say, you have a most intriguing imagination, not only for sexually oriented segments, but for the parts of the story that are based in the future, and in space. Congratulations, and for the sake of us out here that enjoy such fiction, please keep writing! Thanks

Loved your story and the creation of the characters, I have study Bulfinch's Mythology. From what I understand Odysseus was a Greek commander during the Battle of Troy, at the end of the battle he took 10 years to get back to Greece. His journeys were chronicled in the Odessey. The Golden Fleece was a quest taken on by Jason and the Argonauts(also by Hercules). The goddess of luck was Tyche.(Fourtnua in Rome) She was possibly the Daughter of Hermes.

I congratulate you sir. I have read book one and two of this series and I am gob-smacked. Being a bit of a sci-fi guy and also having bit of an incest fetish this story was the cream of the crop. The characters were very natural and the story everything a sci-fi should be. The sex scenes were very graphical and above all else very hot.

I realise that you wrote these stories quite a few years ago but is there any chance that you might work on book three featuring the new civilisation that he created?

Once again VERY well done and all the best.

Team Alpha being 100% active serving military CANNOT act on the CONUS. The Mainland. The U.S.A.

the LAW is The Posse Comitatus Act which outlaws the willful use of any part of the Army or Air Force to execute the law unless expressly authorized by the Constitution or an act of Congress.

To the comment by anonymous your an idiot it’s a bloody fictional story take your constitutional amendments and stick em where the sun don’t shine fool.

very infectious story - I'm not a science fiction reader normally but foud the whole concept enjoyable if not far fetched

@SrapyYardPile: sadly, in his comments to us, his readers, for his story, The Same but Different, nightshadow shared with us that he had terminal stomach cancer and would likely not live out the year. That was in 2018. The Same But Different was nightshadow’s last story published here. May he rest in peace if he did lose his battle with cancer.