by HankDolworth
Not only was it hot, but it made me smile. Your dialogue was just perfect. Thanks!
Well paced, well written, and just the right touch of humor in the dialog. Nice job! Five stars all around.
Ive never been so turned off by the word "fuck"
There was no way to add any more pointless repetitions of the word. So annoying.
I enjoyed how it was going, I could read that for a good while.
The erotic, the relationship and the ending, I felt were all top notch.
My only complaint was the use of the word "fuck" after seeing that word being used so much, especially during the sex scene, I started to grow bored and lose interest, because I was tired of seeing the word every time they spoke.
Some times when they used the word, like when posing a question, then answered with the word, I truly felt it was slightly confusing.
I liked the story.
I can understand the complaints with the overuse of the word 'fuck'
(which is a fucking wonderful word, so versatile!)
When I wrote the story, I recalled a scene from The Wire where two detectives process a crime scene and the only dialog for three minutes is the word, 'fuck' and variants. (see http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nqMcOqH-2UQ) Forty times in fact.
This was a homage to that scene. I can accept that I didn't do it as well, without the visuals of television, it might become too overbearing.
Could this have been any hotter?! I didn't count the "fucks" but there were just enough!
Fuck me what a fucking fuck fest nearly fucking drove me fucking gaga.
Fucking load of shit
I have a manufacturing company and one of the things we use in packaging is stretch wrap, which is a heavy duty form of Saran wrap. Works great to wrap your lover in to the point they are helpless to move. It makes for a beautiful presentation as well.