Well written in the main - there were a couple of grammatical and spelling errors, but in general, this was a very well written story. Nice sex scene - the lead-up to it was a little unrealistic... it seemed she was acting too far out of character and it seemed to mainly be a route to the fuck as opposed to an erotic story in its' own right. I did, however, find the last bit interesting - "when are you going to love yourself as much as I do?" - for I think what the author meant was that Ali had found self-fulfilment in the events described. I chose to read it more as a self-destructive comment - the way it was the last line of it seemed to make the sex with the men sordid as opposed to erotic. I don't know if this should have been written as an erotic story, but it's definitely got value as a story in itself - perhaps rewriting it as a statement on the power of sex and the contradictions of love/sex could have more of a literary effect?
It's just nasty with no eroticism! In any contest with any named genre, it's a loser.
..at the comment.
Relax. It's just for points not to win.
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