All Comments on 'Second Chance Ch. 01'

don`t make him a fag

I'm liking what I've seen so far. The whole episode with Donna definitely makes for an interesting start.

Glad to see another fine tale from you. I look forward to seeing where this is going.

for 1st time students, away from home, this goes on, on every campus across the country. Its a major part of growing and maturing, TK U MLJ LV NV

S-Des, I usually like your stories but this one has the feel of a very good one. I look forward to the "twists and turns" and like you I enjoy these the most. Don't keep us waiting too long.

Thanks

I'm hooked - but I don't like to vote on these until I've seen the rest. If it keeps up this standard, though, it ought to be 5* all the way.

Stories come in all sizes, but few of the LW addicts like real long ones. To be properly appreciated it could have been placed in Novels and Novellas....

I don't suppose we will find out anything about how Donna flipped the switch when she seemed so loving. The good thing is that if happened before he devoted ten years and caused her to have children. The bad side is that he will have a hard time recovering his self-confidence or even his self-worth....

I think it was labeled correctly, even if they weren't married.

Formula:

1) "true, but naive love" Check

2) period of unease while guy is busy with war, work, kids or similar noble endeavor. Maybe there is a warning from a friend. Check

3) woman caught cheating. Check

4) guy is ruined (looses job, school, beaten up, etc). Check

5) guy often overreacts. Check

5) guy finds out he is still desirable. Check

6) guy finds new love and success in life. We shall see.

7) Girl pays for her mistakes big time. if she is at her core good, she gradually turns her life around and acknowledges what a mistake she made, maybe even tries to win him back. We may find out why she made the mistake, but the justification and her continued love are never enough to sway the guy back to her.

8) If she is a bitch, she ends up at the bottom of the ladder.

Great job!

Thanks.

Waiting for more and hope it is indeed a long one

Looking forward to your next installment.

Thank you for sharing your stories with us.

I'm not enough of an English major to presume to correct any of the stories structure or grammar. I just read the author's that appeal to me and stories that attract my attention and this one did. Oh, and contrary to other opinions, some of us who read this category do enjoy longer tales.

LONG stories aren't a problem. It's stories with lots of unnecessary words that are a problem. That's never been a problem with your stories. Looking forward to the next part.

You should definitely continue with this...I can't wait to see what happens next! I especially want to know what Darryl has to do with Tim, and where he fits into Tim's life and romance. Keep it up!

A surfeit of incomprehensible story. Well, the price is writhing until author deigns to let us know what this is actually all about. Will it be worth the wait ? Only the Delphi Oracles are smart enough to know.

S-Des definitely knows how to touch flashpoints like Chicago street anarchy & marauding linebacker intercepting passes on and off the field. Time will tell if the author will be picked for 6 err 5 stars for Literotica TD or has overreached. I don't see any middle ground.

Loving the story (so far).

One thing.

Prone = lying on your front, which doesn't seem likely given the way the interaction was described.

If you want someone lying on their back you need 'supine'. I was taught to remember this by thinking of the word 'spine' (i.e. your backbone) and adding a 'u' (where the u came from I don't remember - facing Up maybe).

No doubt someone will now tell me that through 'common' usage prone = supine but I don't care.

Can't wait for the next chapter!

Pedantic Brit.

bit weird, i would have liked a hint of how Donna was feeling when he walked in on her and the jock... as a way of letting me know you do have a twist coming in the next installment

I dont know how long this story is going to be, but i would have liked it a bit longer.

Waiting with bated breath.

Sweetie was just fulfilling a sorority hazing challenge! Perfectly understandable. Kinda like a required class in school spirit and athletic support! Timmy will be expelled for hurting Jake's hand and foot!

How did the bully get his 9mm out so quickly? Probably the reason he missed something lethal on Darryl...poor gun control! Take your time when popping an unarmed geek!

Despite being a Brit, the English Language lesson is right.

Supine=chest up reclining; (I like 'U Spine' mnemonic!)

Prone=chest down reclining !

For anyone finishing chapter one and waiting on the rest, they were all submitted during the week. Unfortunately I didn't know about the Halloween contest, and right now Lit's moderators are overwhelmed with entries. It might take a few days to get all four chapters out. Again I apologize, I thought they'd all be out for the weekend.

Good 5*****.. It may be as Clvfan's story "Does David Find His true Love" from SOL (storiesonline) is, an erotic and romantic (together) story.

I got hooked reading this chapter, I got very deeply into it despite it not being that long..already questions are flying,what is the opening piece about and how is it going to fit in? Why does Donna, who seems like a decent gal, break Tim's heart like that, especially with a dick head of a jock who wouldn't seem to be her type? It sets up for a lot of possibilities, I can't wait to read them. Unfortunately lit is bogged down with Halloween stories, which is a shame, because this is something I would rather read, the Halloween stories have been pretty lame.

Please do not make us wait too long for the next part. Have mercy!

Because I don't like incomplete stories. Also, the story is not logical with events that never happen in too many places. First, no one walks into a wall and gets knocked out. It might be possible if he was running but not walking in crowded room. That is not possible inside a residence. Second, unless he is rich, a girl like Donna would never go for a guy like him. Third, regardless of the taunts and while he might defend himself, a frail engineering student would never attack a linebacker. That goes against human nature of self-preservation. And fourth, if the hospital suspects an assault, they are required by law to report it to police. Therefore, it is not possible that the police would not have been involved.

DWornock is concerned that the story is incomplete. Why would he think it would be complete when it is clearly labeled as Ch 01 and was submitted only yesterday? S-Des has already posted that the rest of the story has been submitted and will be up as soon as the moderators can get to it.

...what I think! Congratulations on a well-deserved 'H'! Well done!

I'm just shaking my head at some of the comments. You know that saying in Ecclesiastes in the Bible? It says, "There is nothing new under the sun." That accounts not just for the universality of your story, but also for the negativity of the critics! What would life be without them, eh?

I gave you four stars right off the bat, despite a couple of tense changes that should have been caught, but, been there, done that. This was a good start and I'm kinda hooked, wanting to see how it turns out.

I generally hold comment on multiple chapter stories until I've read the whole thing through, but I just had to fire off a response to the, as usual, inane comments of our old friend DWornock who seems to be back from the troll cave. DWornock, remember the advice of the old adage, "It is better to stay silent and appear to be a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt."

Very well written. I could feel this guys sadness and rejection. Can't wait for the rest.

I didn't want to start digging in until it was clear that they were all posted. I've even tried to avoid reading comments, except to scan and see if the most recent chapter was the finale. This was an excellent and tantalizing set-up.

I'll reserve any further comment for the last chapter.

Just wanted to say thanks, though, it's great to have S-Des submitting again.

I assume we will hear/read about Darryl in subsequent chapters. Donna too?

ANY STORY WERE THE READER CAN PUT HIMSELF/HERSELF IN THE PLACE OF THE MAIN CHARACTER AND LIVE THE STORY IS A GOOD READ .

I felt the depth of his devotion just as deeply as the impact of Jake's fist.

Neither were as intense as her betrayal, which still has me shaking.

Well done.

filled with Pain and lots of Emotion. TK U MLJ LV NV

Thus far, a good story and well written. Cheers!

Don't read any further unless you enjoy seeing a sniveling pussy wimp around for twelve pages.

Thanks for the warning about the direction the story is going to take, seems to be a common theme in a S-Des story. Having once taken a beating by a jock who took an interest in a long term girlfriend that I had (and ending up the hospital for it), I initially took interest in the story. But unlike Tim, I didn't confront him; he hunted me down and pounded me to stake his "claim" on her. I might add that he got away with it since he was well connected in town, besides being a star on the basketball team. The police couldn't find any evidence that anything had happened (his father was the chief of police in the town) and there were no records of my visit to the hospital (medical or financial), his uncle was on the board of directors at the hospital.

So, it just like it never happened; so, needless to say, this story brought back some no so pleasant memories for me.

Still five stars. Still a favorite. Such a rich storyline.

I sincerely hope she gets paid back in full for her disgusting treachery!

I sincerely hope Jake pays in full retribution as well.

I am incredibly angry now. Good job.

Your story has grabbed me stronger than anything anything in quite some time.

This author is very talented and I greatly enjoyed this chapter, but the author should learn when to keep his fucking mouth shut. Do not need the information in the authors smug, narcissistic note at the end of the chapter (why not just tell us the end now), and if this story is not about Tim and Donna am pretty sure it will be disappointing after this engrossing beginning. Think I will quit now and not waste my time any further.

Girls that age always say they want nice guys but they always fall for the asshats. He's better off without her. I see a RAAC coming, but hopefully this doesn't happen a second time. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.

I know it wouldn't be Loving Wives if it were otherwise, but how do these beautiful, but down-to-earth girls who apparently fall for the uncool but nice guy end up crushing him?

I really enjoyed your flow of words and emotion up until the beating incident. I strongly suspect revenge might be on the horizon. Why? Because I hate bullies with a deep passion. Thank you.

If you enjoy straight up mental illness, continue reading.

Jake needs his balls crushed and his face rearranged. The beating of Tim was totally gratuitous. He had fucked Tim's whore girlfriend for over a week, so where was the glory in beating up a smaller and weaker man? Especially since Tim was walking away from the skank? One needs to read on and hope to find some satisfaction in future chapters.

A 30.06 with scope and dum dum bullets.

Somehow banging Jake isn't going to be Donna's fault. It will somehow be Tim's fault. Whether it is spending time on homework, work, or living in a different city, it will be Time fault that she strayed. I also foresee her while claiming how much she loves Tim, how much she didn't want to hurt, etc etc, that she will continue a relationship with Jake. Then she will explain all, Tim will feel guilty and then beg her to take him back.

Hopefully that is not the plot of this story. Forgiveness is admirable, but getting back together, let alone accepting responsibility for someone else's conscious decions is utterly ridiculous. You can forgive and move on. Give yourself a chance to move on. Otherwise how can you possibly trust her again.

And one other thing, I bet Tim suspects she does the same thing later on after getting back together. Then she gets angry at him and he behaving forgiveness again. Stupidity.

What did the shooting at the beginning have to do with the rest of the story?

LOL i will take a chance and bet the rest of the story is rationalizing why they should be back together.

You managed to make Tim into a wimp. If the rest of the parts are like this I will stop after the second part

This chapter didn't offer too much to like. You're very.Good though, so I'll try another chapter.

I sure hope someone beats the shit out of the jock. I really hope it's Tim. Piss on the dumb slut!

I liked this first chapter. Hope to get closure with Donna and the jock soon.

....you are going to make a cheating jerk of a girl get back together with a good hearted nerd and rakenhim over the coals because ofnthe distrust ofnwomen that she instilled in him?

You are all heart arent3 you? Lol

He should be glad it happened before he gave her the ring. Should have gotten even with the football jock. I had a run in with a football jock after we had been out of school 12 years over my wife. At a party I just had all I could take with him being such a ladies man and I confronted him.. Now he had 50 pounds and 5 inches on me.. I think he could see the fire in my eyes because he actually walked away. Afterwards a friend came up to me saying he wished he had the balls to do what I just did. I laughed and said I didn't know if it was balls or crazy. He laughed and said I was always crazy but what ever it worked and he was glad to see someone put the Arrogant SOB in his place.

Boring

What a great story, a start to a great love, then a misunderstanding?, or was it. Does Donna know that Jake beat him up.

It will be interesting to see how it all plays out. Well done 5 stars

boooooring...

"He tried not to let her know how much it hurt. She didn't seem to know about the fight, which was a relief."

There wasn't a fight... there was just the total beat-down of him.

Despite what the author writes in cursive, the story is ALL about Donna and Tim´s relationship. Simply put RAAC story with unbelievable cuck of a man as its main cast...

Just skip it. Not worth the time.

Anonymous 3/21 (and most the others) is full of shit. The depth of the story and which the author does a good job of is about regrets and how it can change who you are and how you view others. Potential spoiler: Tim and Donna are the project not the main point, continue the story and you’ll be pleasantly surprised at how it all ties together in the end.

⭐⭐⭐

I have to wonder if the author took all their hatred of Men and concocted this abortion of a Femdom Cuckold Fantasy. Firstly the protagonist is about as unmanly and pathetic as it's possible to be without being 10 years old. I mean he walked into a wall and knocked himself out really 😎😎😎 talk about dispelling any romantic notions right off the bat.

I never bothered paying attention because I just skimmed it was his Peepee 2-3 inches long and the width of his pinky as well? Was his sexual experience cut off at 30 seconds and the extent of his duties was performing anilingus and cunnilingus whilst worshipping her God like Beauty?

I mean it even carried over to the Nemesis who was so over the top physically, mentally and sexually the Alpha antithesis of everything Beta about Cuckboy 🤣🤣🤣🤣 It's actually entertaining because it's so over the top🤔🤔🤔🤔

A bad author.

This story requires a heck of a lot of improvement to be palatable.

1* I hesitate if I should put a minus sign before the number?

BJ

Any comnmentor who calls this a cuckold story is only doing so because they have a cuckold fetish they don't want to admit. Read the whole thing morons.

I wouldn’t waste my time listening to these uneducated fools, this was a wonderful chapter and I can’t wait to get to the rest of it even if I read all night. Thanks for all your time and effort you put into your stories, it shows.

Painful. Betrayal and heartbreak hurts more than physical ass kicking. How do you naively recover from soul crushing humiliation, especially when you have been gaslit to be at fault? Hard for 'the earth to swallow you up' when totally shamed and a throbbing bruise. (Growing pains?)

A good beginning. Apparently I missed this one earlier and am glad I found it. 5*

The start was ok, but by the late middle when HE gets blamed for problems....bull crap. That makes your entire series a 1

Great story. 5 stars, and I'll log in a couple more times and add some more 5's, just to offset the moron below who claims to have given your whole series a 1 for some obscure reason known only to barely-literate halfwits. Well done. Thanks for posting.

A very good tale, this is my second time through. Thank you. 5 stars

somewhere east of Omaha