A well-written, erotic story that is very believeable. I'm anxious to read more of your work.
This one is very good.
This was a pretty matter of fact tryst. It was hard for me to get outraged or excited by the action. The two had an itch & scratched it. Updike did this better but Updike is dead. This will have to do until he resurrects, I suppose.
Dear me, the moral majority must be on holiday!
I actually didn't find it very erotic - it was all too matter of fact for that. Dialogue was okay, though.
Allen's going to take that shotgun and shove it up your ass then blow his wife's brains out. Author, which one are you. The husband, the wife or the neighbor? If you're the wife or the neighbor you should live in pain you fucking cheater. I'm being nice too.
...his name says it all. "My wife screwed me over, and now I'm going to read every cheating wife story on Lit and dump on it and its author."
The squishing sound of her pussy is what I call pussy music or the kitty purrrring. I love that sound. Hot story-thanks
poor Betrayedby. He suffers. He is alone now. Poor baby.
So, like BetrayedBy, he left his wife to find some love and sex where she could. Her quest led to a very sexy story.
SIMPLY TERRIBLE MISUSE OF WORDS AND GRAMMAR.
Kinda like sex between an established married couple, but a little more exploratory! Not bad at all.
You could have had more stars, (I gave you 3), if it wasn't for the spelling and grammar, already mentioned by others. Maybe try working with one of Lit's volunteer editors before submitting your next piece.
Ann seems to be a hot MILF, and if her husband is out of the way on fishing trips, perhaps he could get a lot more of her sweet pussy, and ass.
I'd like to read more of their fucking each other while her husband is out of town, and how their relationship grows.
Thanks for writing. And don't worry about the spelling/grammar police they are frustrated 2nd grade wannabe teachers.
No. DO worry about grammer AND punctuation. Do not ignore spelling. No man has a 'prostrate'. He has a Prostate gland. Prostrate is when someone lies flat on the ground in submission, suplication, or sadness. Grammer, punctuation, composition, and spelling are how we communicate with one another. You've a good story here, but you need to get a proofreader. Good work, but don't pay any attention to advice that tells you its OK to be less and that work suffering from mistakes is fine. You are a good storyteller and remember - mediocrity is not desirable.
please continue some of your higher rated stories.
And if you want to avoid the grammar complaints, copy and paste your story into an online tool like http://www.grammarly.com/
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