All Comments on 'Caroline Alone Ch. 03'

I really loved the continuation of the story. Caroline is still a whack ado . How many more chapters?

except, of course, for the lack of more graphic sex(joke!)! This is truly first rate, publishable literature. Some one really failed in training Caroline to understand the world and its population. Still the idea that she got her MBA and has an important job, is very incompatible with her failure to understand her husband's reactions. Really I would be fascinated to know why she feels he should accept sharing her. But then we never know Why, and none of the answers ever ring true.

A feminist vegan girlfriend in place of ditzy,deluded cheating wife? If it wasn't for the latter's adultery, I'd define that as a lateral move. A fine read, perhaps not as heated a read as last two installments. The author had to herd his characters out of sauna and start to construct a habitat, more suited towards the long-term.

Could sense that perhaps Jack is going to be turned into a wimp. Please don't! Up to now he has had "balls" and it would be a true shame to turn a good tale into an all-to-common Literoica wimp husband tale. Looking forward to the next episode.

The women in his life are either cheating whores or brain dead boring twats. Let's hope he meets someone fit to have a relationship with. Enjoying the story so far and looking forward to your solution.

I would take the cheating wife over Hazel. Hazel is a whack job if I ever read about one. I wouldn't let her near my children.

Damien preys on married women and probably has a different one on the two nights he is not with Jack's wife. He should not be trusted.

as always; you have talent.

That said, I am disappointed with this chapter. The characters have become...insufferable. Jack less so, I guess, though his passive aggressiveness is not particularly appealing and I can't say I like him very much.

The Caroline you have written is just absurd. I had hopes for her as a reasonable human being in chapter one, and even chapter two though things were going sideways, but the character you have written in this chapter is beyond the pale. The conversations she has with Jack on page 2 are just...I don't know. Ridiculous? I don't have the word. Her behavior is so inexplicable that it's impossible to relate to her at all.

Frankly, and this is often a problem in these cheating stories, there is nobody to like. I enjoy it when the characters are complex and have flaws, but here you have fallen into the trap where the cheating wife has nothing but flaws, which makes me both disgusted with her and feeling a little sorry for her that her author gave her no good qualities. At the very least you could have had her come to the decision to break it off with Damian (or Jack I guess) instead of it ending because Damian leaves. I mean, let her do something constructive at least. Something proactive.

Jack. Don't like him much either. He's using the kids in my view. You write it (and I said something about this after chapter 2) as if he's the hero dad to them, but the truth is, he left, and mom has to be single parent while working during the week. He sees them when he has time for them.

At any rate, you do write well, and I enjoy that. I'll certainly read your final chapter to see how this resolves. I can't say that I can envision any sort of satisfying ending now though.

You are a very good writer, your characters are well developed and there is something to like and dislike about all of them. I don't know where you are going to take this story, but if there is any hope of influencing your last chapter, please don't let Jack go back to the idiot wife. Hazel is what she is and he can find someone else, because she deserves to be alone in life with her radical views, riding along tilting at windmills. I think you have done a superb job of drawing the academic characters and it is a wonder how young people escape from university without being completely corrupted in their thinking.

In reading this chapter I am reminded of the present economic situation and how many who studied esoteric subject find themselves unable to find a paying job. There is a reason why the Greeks referred to those debating things under an olive tree as "academic".

on several levels. Caroline is one of the most fascinating characters I've ever read. Porn, mainstream, all fiction. The polished writing seperates her from all tired and silly cliches. She is so effortlessly captivating to suck the reader in I get a sense the author himself doesn't have clue what to do with her. That makes all the thousands of words that ramble over campus politics and stock characters irritating. I scroll to get back to Caroline. Every word that comes out of her mouth surprises. Jacks role as wronged husband does nothing but polish the jewel facets of Caroline's astonishing common sense. Hazel and all the rest contribute nothing. Caroline dominates this story, so give her dominating sway.

I sort of feel for the guy. Two ball-busting bitches in a row although that seems to be what he wants. Chalk it up to British stiff upper lip masochism.

A work of fiction does not have to be literally true to life or plausible to still be interesting. The fiction defines its own universe and all I expect is that the story is true, or consistent, to that universe.

So, what do we have here? Basically, four dysfunctional individuals in Caroline, Jack, Damien and now Hazel.

I commented on Ch 2 that Jack seemed to be in deep denial or repression, showing very little emotional reaction to the whole situation. In this chapter Jack is still being written/described as being in denial. He says he's moved on, that life has never been better. But he's emotionally pent up in a bizarre relationship with an emotionally closed woman which he works hard at making work. He shows a vindictive streak with Caroline. These are the writer's choices. Jack could have been written so as to literally walk away, or to be more confrontational with Caroline rather than listening to her then shrugging and saying he doesn't care.

All in all, a very strange universe. Interesting, but very strange.

This may be the most bizarre story that I've ever read. It's hard to keep reading this as there really is no character in this story to root for. They all have very weird and distorted views about life. I sort of felt the same way when I read "The Duel". It might just be that I don't understand britsh people. It all seems so bizarre to me!?!?

Fantastic story

I'm a Colonial and I struggle to understand the Brit's desire to approach matters like this in such a civilized manner. It just pisses me off. The husband should be filling for divorce and fucking over Carolina at every opportunity the same way she's fucked over him...but noooo...that wouldn't be civilized (I guess I should spell it with an 's').

Damian? He should be fish food by now...

All of that said, I gauge a story's worth by how it provokes a response in me, and this one certainly does. Despite my distaste for your protagonist's tactics, I like your writing. Please keep it up! Next time, though, I want to see the cheaters really get some pain...

question. how can it be a three part serise but the last line says "to be continued?" i usually wait until they are done to read them all in one sitting and i cant wait to read it all. from the comments, which is all i have read so far, it appears that all is not well. at least in the "Duel" the husband killed the studd muffin, what say you here? i will continue to wait until it is all done to read it. and why not post this last part in LW?

when you drag this thing too far in an attempt to go through each and every complicated emotion and feeling by both the husband and the wife, but in my opinion and i guess in every man's opinion it boils down to...i am willing to share her, is what she did damaging enough for my relationship with her, (even if she stops and goes back to be a one man wife) can i live with her in the future with all of this hanging over our heads. Well, these are simple questions, the answers could be difficult and could be different from one man to the other, but....these answers should comply with logic, history, common sense, and what should be personal priorities. and btw, your attempt in making the second woman look like crazy to make the wife look better or to make the husband still single and available is way out and kind of a cheap trick, there are bad woman out there but to meet and fall for two, one after other, one can assume that either you community is really fucked up, or this man is the unluckiest bastard on earth, and both theories are far away from the truth and the logic and the normal.

This chapter is as unpleasant as the worst of "cheating souses"; so I can detect no trace of romance.

so many writers like Ohio have written stories in multiple chapters, and so many of them have obtained high ratings for the early chapters while the last one just went down the drain, i truly hope that your story will not suffer the same fate.

Well written but not a person in it I like, wimps and bitches, yikes.

she made her choice so let those consequences play out; and him, move forward w/o her. maybe he's with hazel's sister? And end the farce, he has the children, and she becomes the company something

what the author's intent is here. He puts this section in romance, for example, but I don't see any romance really. Jack's relationship with Hazel is not romantic, it isn't even really two fuck buddies, Hazel in her zeal doesn't want a relationship, and Jack doesn't seem to know what he wants. Caroline, for all her claiming that she has this tremendous amount of love for Jack and Damien both, in fact doesn't seem to know what love is, every time she opens her mouth it tells she doesn't understand it. She really thinks that love equals getting her jollies off, it is all about her, and she for the life of her can't understand why Jack would be upset. She also doesn't even seem to have love for the kids, or her family, it is all about her. This could have been in LW and maybe it should have been, because there is no romance here, only a bunch of deluded, emotionally stunted people shambling around like the Gumbies on Monty Python.

What I will hate to see is if Caroline, knowing she has lost Damien, suddenly decides then to try and get Jack back and he goes. If Jack does so, then he doesn't have even the brains of economists (already in short supply), because he would be in effect a last resort for her, not her really wanting to reconcile.

If the story keeps going as it is, might be wise to put it in erotic horror or science fiction, because that is where it is rapidly heading.

While I personally didn’t find much to like about any of the principal players, I loved the description of academia. Once upon a time a couple of decades ago, I considered academia. What convinced me otherwise was the sheer viciousness and pettiness of academic politics. Once a professor achieves tenure, his or her true nature can and usually does assert itself with little chance of any repercussions. There are many dedicated professionals but unfortunately altogether too many people just like our narrative’s merry faculty.

with the section close to the beginning of the chapter that described the faculty meeting. What fun! How does the quotation go — that 'the politics of academia are so vicious because the stakes are so small'.

Forget the critics who complain about your plot elements; disregard the readers who bemoan your characters. The stories have a lot of originality, interesting perspectives, and are amusing to read.

I LIKED 'The Duel' as well — and how often do we have our villains off'ed with a ceremonial Naval Sword? And the heroine did redeem herself, even, granted, if it was by her actions after his death. (OK, perhaps putting him out of his agony was also potentially self-sacrificing as well.)

Keep it up, I look forward to your conclusion, and I must confess, I haven't a clue as to which direction you are going to go.

I thought because this was posted in Romance it was going to be between Jack and the cunt. However I was pleasantly surprised that it was about Hazel. She is an interesting character and I hope everything about her comes out in the final chapter. So here is where we're at. Caroline and Damien will have to be a long distance relationship. Jack definitely has the kids trust and love and they would prefer to be with him. Hazel is the wild card. Will Jack wind up with Hazel? If he goes back with Caroline that destroys the whole idea of the story. She's a cheating cunt with no remorse and deserves to be alone. I guess we'll see...

Did he date someone? Yes. Did they make it to bed? Yes. Did the majority of the story still focus on his dealings and relationship with his should-be-ex wife and her lover? Yes again. I really do not see how this chapter jumps from LW to Romance unless you were trying to entice a different crowd to read your story. I cannot think it appealed to them since there was no movement forward or resolution to his relationship with Hazel. In fact at the moment there is no relationship. Your choice for category choice of course but it seems a bit gratuitous to me.

I love how this chapter focuses on the husbands new love life. I am happy for him. Beautifully written.

That line is the start of the last chapter of Jane Eyre.

My thanks to cloacas for correcting a factual error. I have Jane Eyre on my shelf but have not read it for 45 years, whereas I re-read a Jane Austen every couple of years. My memory re-assigned the familiar quote to the more familiar work. But then writing seems to downplay the literal truth in favour of the moral truth. And cloacas, you are one of the writers who inspired me to put some work here and I'd love to read something new by you.

Author your concept is wrong. The Romantic Revenge is Loving Wives too!

The modern mariage founded on mutuality and this woman Caroline do not understand this. If she want 2 horses for riding her husband gets freedom to use 2 horses too. However he is one woman man so the 2 horses will be one horse soon, but without Caroline.

Best line in a long time: ""We don't need economics, we need more about the experience of women," said a wizened classicist who specialises in sexual practices in fifth century Athens." Pure class.

fan fucking tastic. i read it all and now i am going back and giving everything a 5 for the entire story. damn it is great!

.. To follow up on your quote below you gotta have "balls" before you can get them busted ...... and clearly Jack has NO balls!! Of course you could make a case using your analogy with Caroline because she has a vagina and she certainly is a CUNT!

"I sort of feel for the guy. Two ball-busting bitches in a row although that seems to be what he wants. Chalk it up to British stiff upper lip masochism."

**CHEATING WIVES ARE THE LOWEST FORM OF LIFE**

From Madame Bovary to Millie Tant. His luck couldn't get any worse! Actually, things are looking up for Jack, Caroline and family

Make the fucking feminist fall in love with you. Make her understand that a matriachal society replacing the current patriachal one wont help the world as a whole. Make her see the power of love. Make her understand the true meaning of gender equality.

P. S. BURN THE CHEATING BITCH!!.

I liked your Duel.

Allow me to give you some unsolicited advice about posting stories. It has happened in the past that I followed a multi part story like this and the author switched gears from one catagory to another. I went MONTHS without knowing he actually completed his arc.

Doing this is unfair to your audience and you will lose readers very quickly if you make it a habit. I don't care if you see it transition to Romance. Caroline is still there. Leave it in one catagory.

Free advice worth what you pay for.

Frankly, I am FAR less enamoured with Hazel than you are.

I'm in the same boat with FD45. Where's the romance? A night's fucking with a frigid, prickly, crazy bitch is romance in your eyes? You gotta be kidding!

Another thing, are you some kind of women hater? Why the women in your story are completely void of a single brain cell in their skull cavity?

I kinda feel sorry for Caroline. If someone is retarded, incapable of putting 2 and 2 together and comes out with 3 or 5 instead of 4, you can't get mad at them! Now, can you? She is not lovable but not hateable either. So, IMHO this series could have done better in Non-Erotic category.

Your writing style is good except the excessive use of present tense. It's a bit annoying. I'm going to the next chapter anyway...

Absolutely wonderful. The wife doesn't deserve a second chance. Five stars.

So far, a well written story.

In character consideration, who could ever find a person the likes of Hazel attractive? I have tried, but vegan's are only attractive to vegans and shouldn't be suffered by children.

She has still not gotten a clue - not really

How could she still hope to save her marriage, when every Jack's deed and word clearly showed he maintained a civil relationship with her only for children's sake?

So old Jack more or less dumped Caroline, which he should, and took up with another seriously screwed up female. Given a choice between a round heeled slut and a militant feminist who hates men, I would take door three even if there was nothing behind it.

Fuck me this 'author' uses such stilted language. Who the fuck uses 'shan't' in a sentence anymore.

Still five stars.

I find if funny that people think that him being a deadbeat dad is cool.

I laughed at the way you wrote the feminist professor.

I like equality, I have sisters and daughters.

But the way the strict feminists have gone about it, I think has damaged society and families:(

You write very well.

thank you for sharing

gave you a 5

Still 5 *.

Please don't spoil it now.

Good, but bad.

Ditch the third wave feminist social justice warrior, and the crazy wife? well, don't have sex with her and get that divorce quick.

MGTOW.

Due to your good writing skills.

Caroline is still unfit for anything more than a rubber room and intensive therapy.

I'm starting to like Jack. I hope he can make a go of it with the feminazi but he can't possibly continue a marriage with a mentally deranged woman.

Well paced character growth. People can change, mostly unintentionally. Real change is hard. Delulsional slut still sees hubby as backup plan.

The thick plottens. Enjoying it greatly. I wouldn't have diddled around like Jack The Boy. She'd have been dismissed forthwith.

Can he pick'em or what.

...of sounding plebian: Women! Can't live with 'em, can't shoot 'em. I'm still spellbound.

Super story, still loving it!

she's a real piece of work, she goes off with her lover on her birthday! no thoughts of celebrating with her husband and children, kids love stuff like that, but then she loves neither.

jack should dump the feminist get a divorce and find a big titted milf who loves sex and owns a pub.

Jack is a glutton for punishment isn't he. Goes from the slut Caroline to a feminist bitch in Hazel.

This Caroline character is a real piece of work. She seems to have the brain cells of an amoeba. She still seems to be under the impression that she can make her marriage to Jack work again, even months after her and Damien’s affair was made known. Will she ever wake up and smell the coffee? Inquiring minds want to know!

I'm struck with how bad he is at picking love interests. He deserves whatever pain he gets in the form of paying stupid tax.

Given the choice between Caroline, Hazel and a firing squad I'd have to think carefully.

yuk, more Brit cuckoldry (with a bit of racism and misandry to color the plot)

he didnt have a romance with the delusional whore he apparently wont leave, nor did he have a romance with the delusional cunt who thinks all men are rapists

Wow - in this chapter Caroline has become completely delusional!

I can somewhat understand her initial denial, when her whole world comes crashing down, but shouldn't she be past that by now? Shouldn't she be well past the bargaining stage and into acceptance at this point?

There is something seriously wrong with her, and I really do hope for a good explanation before the end of the story.

Jack's new love interest is also really struggling, mentally. A common trait with women far into feminism, I have noticed. But I suspect a lovely, fragile, and strong woman might be hiding beneath the opinionated facade.

Still exceptional writing!

Even more convinced, based on his choice of Hazel, dumbass deserved his cuckoldry. Guy is a total fuckup

When it comes to women

brought Benny Hills fastest milkman to mind, but you left out the bun and stale pork pie. Deffo less amusing...a lot.

Hazel sounds just like most feminist female university lecturer's, last women in the world to get involved with.

"Someone who believes women -- and girls -- should have an equal chance in life and not be subject to discrimination because of their sex," says Hazel.

But then again when I was in my teens I discovered I was a lesbian once I figured out we liked the same things. Signed: BTW

has atrocious taste in women.

"What's a feminist?" ask both children at once.

Well, children, A feminist is someone who is poorly educated and indoctrinated in a particularly destructive form of false consciousness that leads them to become indignant about the most fundamental fact of human differentiation; namely, that men and women are both different and tend to be best suited for different roles. As a result of the delusions induced by their false consciousness, feminists falsely belief that women are specially victimized and that that entitles them to demand economic and psychological rents. Not only is feminism personally destructive, it degrades institutions and professions it infiltrates. If embraced by an advanced society, it destroys that society's civilization and replaces it with something rather primitive. Other than that, children, feminism is splendid."

She is still delusional, but then again so is his new squeeze. She too has no idea with her head filled with feminist crap.

He should give her a miss as well, Hazel is too self entitled as well, another selfish woman.

He needs a more down to earth woman

2* Okay, so after reading 3 chapters of this overdrawn wimpy cucky series, I again confirm that there are no real men in Europe, except Winter Frog and the Russians. This should have been a 2 chapter series at most. But instead it repeats the same tired relationship drivel instead of moving the characters forward. Case in point: Jack the Cuck should have divorced the sociopathic bitch in Chapter 1. Don't quit your day job!

Sorry but not reading anymore of this series. The first chapter was brilliant and, I thought, really captured the emotions involved in an affair and it's discovery. However, you've written the Caroline character as some sort of completely delusional character who thinks that her husband will accept sharing her with another man. Despite everything that happens she continues to believe that she can convince her husband it's all ok to share her with Damien.

Really doesn't make sense and ruins what could have been an excellent series.

The wife is Coo-Coo for Coa-Coa Puffs.

not reading anymore of this series.. did ben shapiro write this chapter? the feminism, slave labour, veganism etc almost felt like it was written either by some right wing grifter or some old white guy who's not been on a college campus for last 30 years.. every single character came off as cartoonish caricature of internet stereotypes.. I had favourated the first chapter in the series but now I'm thinking otherwise.

Poor guy, he seems to attract women who are nucking futs.

It seems he can’t pick women for shit. Two crazy bitches in a row. What a fuck up. Interesting story again and his mind fucking his ex is funny but Hazel? Seriously? Maybe if she was the last woman on earth.

Love the fact he stabs her at every opportunity. The flinch and questioning where she's been, beautiful.

Hazel is a singularly annoying and unattractive character. Not sure why he was bothering to go after her at all.

The story really isn't worth commenting on, but this caught my attention: "She doesn't eat cheese because they kill the male milk calves at birth." As somebody who grew up on a dairy farm, I had to laugh at the typical ignorance of the typical vegan. No, we didn't kill the male calves at birth. Our operation raised them alongside the female calves that we raised to add to our milk herd, selling them for slaughter at a profit later. The dairies that didn't want to raise them sold them. They also tended to sell the female calves, instead buying breeding age stock to add to their herd. Only a vegan would be stupid enough to flush money down the toilet by just killing them...

The story is ludicrous. Where is the money coming from as Jack had quit his job? The whole story seems to be written by a guy who has never had to deal with children or has any understanding of family law.

Wow. Caroline has to be one of the stupidest Slut Ray victims in Lit history.

.

3 ***

I simply love this story because it's just all kinds of stupid, clichés, tropes and just horrible characters in this morass of ignorance and innuendo.

Firstly the fucking husband is the absolute epitome of the cuckold, passive aggressive dickless wonder that somehow all English men end up being in any cheating wives tale.

The wife is just a complete and total narcissist literally every word or thought is all about her her her like seriously wtf make at the least slightly sympathetic.

And the lover is just a complete moron I mean come on he's so fucking needy and pathetic it's ridiculous. In fact he's better suited to Hazel due to his codependent nature and her completely over the top fucking Feminazi alter ego.

barely 4 stars. Not clear what you are going for, but good comments below from xhirstianj (except the part of how much I love this story).

Another social justice author where actual statistics don't matter.

Disgusting story and author

So he's trading in a delusional slut for an indoctrinated feminist... guy must be a masochist.

interesting and boring at the same time, although the MC's and Hazel are explained in depth. Mostly boring but only 1 more chapter. Very odd about the "family" earnings and expenses.

My biggest problem so far as this story unravels is that you the author think that there is actually any man who would even get into any dialogue with a woman that did that to him. pure nonsense. Under the arrangement you set up in this tale,the only conversation a husband would have is discussion about their children,the rest his back turned on.

It's hard to believe a man this intelligent would leave a toxic relationship for another one. He moved from a woman who was able to rationalize cheating as good for her marriage. Now on to Hazel who so far is extremely sexist, and VERY racist and is a vegan which promotes a ton of health issues....

Just Wow. Is our MC a glutton for punishment? Lol

Sincerely,

Payenbrant

What I wouldn’t give to write like this… totally engaging, deep characterization, tension, momentum, caring about the characters one way or other, wonderful vocabulary. BUT, I don’t want him to take her back, accepting cuck status, mark my words, he’ll be sorry some day.

Stupid poly wife that cannot determine what's her priority in life. Utter lack of morals and respect.

I remember now. Another great story where the mc snatched defeat from the jaws of victory. Traded an insane adulteress for a libtard lunatic professor but I repeat myself

Unfortunately while the story is well written it's just unbelievable that the wife would behave like that. She just comes across as delusional, stupid and completely lacking in introspection. She's supposedly meant to be a rising star in the financial world with analytical abilities, a capacity to see things for what they are, but apparently she's incapable of navigating a simple relationship even when it's made more than clear that what she wants will not be accepted. So instead of acting accordingly she continues to behave as if stated facts have no bearing. To the reader this is very frustrating and unfathomable, and ultimately just comes across as the writer trying to manipulate the reader rather than representing a genuine human being.

Still, it's nice to see the mysos' and dullards ranting in the comments.

I'm still liking this, plenty of good thinking, yes know that you have had to make her stupid, but maybe cut back just a bit

For those who can not grasp the wife's mental attitude.

It is classic Narcissist. All about "ME ME ME ME".

Caroline lives a virtual life like 'Walter Misty's. A delusion centered around self deception. (How this makes her strong, independent feminist?) It reads like the emancipation and dedication of the single financial practical single dad. What a teacher with reality experience!

Hazel is even more deluded than Caroline. Where does Jack find these utter losers ?

Lunatic judgemental whacko Hazel:: "You were lucky. Especially for a banker."

Correct answer: "Without bankers, bitch, only the very rich would own a car, lt alone a house. Your vaunted university would not exist either."

Lunatic judgemental whacko Hazel:: "Why do you ask? Because all women of a certain age must have a partner?"

Correct answer: "OTHER than leaping to conclusions, do you get any other forms of exercise?"

"It's not so easy to be detached and self-sufficient when there are children," he replies.

Lunatic judgemental whacko Hazel:: "Lots of single mothers manage."

Correct answer: "Aaaand, it positively sucks for the kids. Take it from someone working with youth at risk. Less that 5% come from intact homes. The other 95% come from single-mother households. If you think they 'manage' you're insane."

Liked the earlier sections, this one was terrible, because of the bollocks you had Hazel spouting. And the lunatic idea that a man who'd escaped from one lunatic would be attracted to another. He needs to find a big stick, and every time he feels attractive to the delusional narcissist Hazel, he should hit himself on the head until the feeling passes.

One star, since there's no zero. Stopping now.

I think the people calling Caroline stupid are missing the point. She isn’t a dumb person, just a delusional one.

.

Caroline, like most people, conceptualize themselves as generally good people. She knows a good person doesn’t betray her spouse or take time away from her children to spend with her lover. So, being that she’s so obviously a good person, it must be that time with Damian makes her a better wife and mother (/s)! She did something horribly selfish and destructive and frankly professionally unethical and the only way to prevent cognitive dissonance is to convince yourself that you did nothing wrong. Or that it was for love. It’s why she needed Jack to acquiesce: she needs the man she loves to give her legitimacy for her actions.

Caroline.... Hazle... Jack needs to take a step back and think long and hard which psycho he would rather put up with. Maybe he should go looking for that female student that was hitting on him. Not sure I like where this story is heading to but I'll keep reading just to see how screwed up it can get.

Who would think so many physiologists read in the romance section. Their comments are so involved It’s like rereading the story. It seems the running theme is he is mentally weak and she is mentally delusional. Or in common speak He is a wimp and she is a slut