by aking2
My mama told me that if I couldn't say something nice to keep my mouth shut.
I don't have a thing to say.
I'm sorry if it's poorly written.
Could you give me hints of how to do better?
Or it's just all crap?
I presume English is not your native language, but that is NOT an excuse. If you choose to write in English, learn the language. This was unreadable.
the story theme is ok but the grammar is very weak still i kinda liked it, even though i am not a big fan of beig forced this one was a turn for me and had me wanting cock before it ended i guess it is my slut instinct i get sometime
usually from wanting black cock
(Different Anon) If English is not your first language, you would need someone proficient in both languages. If not, just post for an editor. A lot of the folks on this site are retired and are willing to edit for you in return for acknowlegement.
The issues that jumped out at me were: 1) verb-noun agreement and 2) too simple dialog. I am from the south where family trees don't always branch and a college degree is not mandatory, but even in my youth we didn't speak quite so simply.
I never submitted anything that I have wrote, but I usually get understood. That means that I still have lot more to learning, thank you for noticing me this.
I think I'll try to read and learn again rules about verb/nouns and try to have a more complex dialog.
First anon, don't worry, maybe I won't submit anything again to public.
Not only was this bad, but it promotes rape. It is offensive and I hope this isn't something that actually happened.
Unreadable in so many ways.
The "writing", the subject matter and possibly the fact that the "author" should be somewhere under lock and key!
i liked it. it was hard to read in some spots but all and all it was good
Rough & ready in a Jim Thompson sort of way. Those that don't like it....don't read it!
I read your story again and found it even more arousing the second time.
Really poor grammar and hopefully not written by someone who speaks English. Please take some lessons in speaking and writing before putting this kind of crap out to waste a reader's time. Then have someone who speaks English read it and evaluate it before putting it out here for us to read.
This story needed proof reading! I would be ashamed to put something out with half as many typos.
Literary chipmunk