All Comments on 'Yours Ch. 02'

Wonderful job with character development and keeping up the intrigue. Definitely got me hooked. You have a few spelling/grammar errors here and there, but it's nothing too distracting from the story.

You're a supremely talented writer. Keep this series going!

I just want him to love her and I know he does, he just won't admit it to Jessica or us. It hurts me that she throws herself so willingly at him but it also makes me feel his control so much more. I think the feeling of the story would've fizzled out much faster if he said he loved her, even at the end of chapter 2. Great read nonetheless, please keep writing or adding to this series!

This has been an incredible read, sexy & heartbreaking at times. Don't stop, oh don't stop...

An excellent chapter, please don't take too long in posting the next one. Looking forward to reading it :)

I love this as well as the first i am wondering of your plains for them being in a relationship i believe that it would be a twist and make some of the story complated but i hope one day they do end up together i love the story can't wait for more <3

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

loved everything about it, i hope she will soon be calling him MASTER lol, and in the next chapter, sex gets even more wilder, ripping her ass apart, sex in public perhaps. great keep it up please!!!!!!

The context, plot and characters are evolving credibly at a controlled pace. Your prose is good and language exhibits a distinct and relevant style. I look forward to more chapters. Keep writing.

Regards

I think this is going to be one of the best stories I have ever read. I look forward to reading more.

Wow. Now thats what i call an excelent story... No flaws what so ever... Keep on the good work, i cant wait to read the third part! :)

there is an excellent progression and pace to this story, Can't wait to see how far it will go.

Please do another fast, I would like it if you released your stories in smaller, but more frequent pieces.

Please keep it up! I'm hooked on this story and can't wait for part 3 x

One of the best I have ever read. I am more into femdom, but the dynamic here is great. I could not stop reading.

I absolutely love this story, but everybody is already rightfully praising you. I regularly come back to this story and every time I read the comments, I feel the need to tell you this: You're of course completely free to do whatever you want with your story, but not everybody wants them to become a couple. I'm not writing this so you write it the way I want, but to take of some of the pressure to continue the story the way it seems your readers want.

I hope you continue this series, it's hands down the most fascinating read on this website. Although I disagree with the amount of anger shown towards Jessica, we understand she was a "bitch".. Anyone would be upset and want vengence, but at somepoint forgiveness has to happen. Since our protagonist clearly has shown affection for her, and has admitted it during his inner monologue. It almost seems over the top to hold back and not tell her "I love you." It doesn't change the for USA and still allows for the characters to grow. (Just an opinion) Since they're in high school, prom will most likely come up, which leaves the question, will Becky become an option? You have foreshadowed this slightly with the lunch room portions of the story. Obviously I have no authority to tell you how to write your story and I hope you continue this series. I just wanted to give my opinion and also my praise. This story has been absolutely a treat to read. You clearly have an exceptional talent and care for your characters. I hope you don't get bored and decide to leave this series unfinished, although other opportunities arise.

This is a great story. The characters have depth and I love the POV. Jessica tortured him for years and I think you have written his animosity perfectly. He's a bit mean but still hurting from her past abuse. Hopefully they will be together in the end but they are just in high school...experimenting with some heavy stuff. It will be great to see what the future holds for these two. I love it! Thanks -Tatum

I must say, this story is very impressive, like a perfect fantasy. And I'm curious, is the writer a girl or a guy? I'm assuming its a girl, but i am wondering. If by any chance it is a guy, then damn, I sure would love to fuck you... Please, write more soon! I'm dying over here!

Your story is well written. However, I just don't like any of these people in any way, so it really doesn't matter how hot the sex may be, I can't enjoy the story. It is not a problem with the bdsm folks, so don't Molotov me. Can't honestly vote as liking it, but won't bomb the score. Happy writing. I'll try future stories.

Truly awesome!

I should be working for my exam tomorrow, but instead, I've spent the best part of an hour reading this. Following up the 1st part was always going to be difficult, but you've done far better than I ever expected. Absolutely brilliant, can't wait for more!

I too would love to know if you are male or female..surely a man could not be so eloquent ?

He should NEVER ever tell her he loves her.He can show her,as he does already when he is affectionate.mbut if he tells her and goes soft on her she would lose respect.

I love the emotional sadism when he is making her jealous..i think this could be used more later on.A good dominant should always call time on every meeting,always leaving the submissive wanting more and more and more...just out of her reach,

You just get it,its a beautiful thing.I have been on the receiving end before like Jessica and there is nothing more perfect.

I burst out laughing when he said that he owned her instead of that he loves her. Perfect subversion of the reader's expectation. Loved it.

Your words and your subject are fantastic. It is quite wonderful to embrace darker themes, and your prose and editing were as smooth as a river stone.

Can't wait for the next installment! I have every confidence that you will make the next as truly riveting as the first two

This is an amazing story!! Have read it numerous times till now.. Perfect balance of sex and emotions.. The way they take their relation, everything!! Please continue with the next chapter!! Soooonnn!! I'm eagerly waiting for it..

You are amazing!!! Sooo perfectly amazing!! Loveeee youu!! :)

Although I realize this is just a fantasy, I would like to point out how utterly dysfunctional their relationship is. The bdsm community keeps trying to explicitly point out that a bdsm relationship is not a destructive one whereas their relationship, if they remain on the path they are headed, is nothing but! She adores him and his hatred will in the end destroy her, and although sadomasochism is great in bed its not supposed to emotionally damage either party, ergo the importance of aftercare. I really enjoy your story but there is so much bullocks out there on the Internet and I genuinely hope he soon begins to reassure and care for her emotionally as well as physically instead of the complete disregard for her love for him. If not by returning the love then some other kind of solution. Because this kind of relationship would destroy most subs. Anyway, just wanted to put this out there and research aftercare! It is in my opinion the most reassuring part of a bdsm session and is what gives a bdsm relationship depth and makes it interesting. Also, it is immeasurably important. So called "subdowns", which is what you would call the hours Jessica cried for, is something one always wants to avoid. We care for our subs.

Last but not least I am not at all trying to tell you how to write your story. You are indeed talented! Just felt that this needed to be put out there. So many experimenters and newbies read stories like this and pursue a relationship like it while the depths of passion and love that can be reached in a true bdsm relationship are ignored. Best regards

AHHHHH I loved this so much. I creamed myself so hard. Please please continue this!!!! I need more :) please!!! Thank you!!!

I hope he starts being more loving toward Jessica

Otherwise a fantastic story

The storys youve wrote are amazing it draws the reader in not only on pleaser but to get the understanding of this amazing story the back story and front are prefect not only in text bit you give so much info i can amagin the story in my head the begging the. constant sex the way you wrote it is amazing please by all meams write the next one

You show great talent and potential in your writing style and the skill with which you execute and organize the thoughts presented. I strongly recommend for you to keep a carbon copy manuscript of this because if you continue writing like this, the fantastically sadistic, and just sheer awesome nature of the dynamics between your characters could turn this into a great condensed series ready for publication.

Nah dude they are both completely new to being Dom/sub so it makes sense that they would have these road bumps. Also he JUST established the official ownership relationship the next chapter will pprobably b about them growing together and (i hope) the sister finding out

Totally agree with the response. This is a learning experience, that's what makes it so appealing. I for one, have not been into bdsm "or truly understanding it" until reading this. Tried a few of the things mentioned and performed on my wife of well over a decade and realized this is what she has been wanting, she even had to comment on how wet it made her. Holy shit, I feel slow. Keep up the good work, and take it slow, I need to learn more!

Can't wait for the next installment!

Don't wait another 5 months to write the next chapter.

Cant wait for the next chapter.

Like some of the other comments, I'd like to see him admit he cares for her at least to himself more openly, since the whole thing is about their relationship and having him own her without more emotional involvement limits their relationship somewhat. But you do write beautifully, with a great way of developing the characters without it seeming to slow down the pace, and get the right balance of lack of knowledge and uncertainty in the characters to make them believable.

I have to say, I have never commented on a story on this site, I generally think that this is one amazing stories that I have read and it is so arousing that I can't be put to words.

I hope we don't have to wait as long for the third chapter, keep up the excellent work.

I'm falling in love with Jessica

Thank you for sharing your amazingly delicious story. It is one of the best I have read out of a substantial list.

There's way too much exposition and way too little sex. I skipped and skimmed to get to this page. The payoff is way to little for the amount of reading that has to be done.

This is beautifully written! The way you're able to convey their emotions, the chemistry seems to come off the page.

But I hate abuse, and that is what it is right now.

He obviously gets off on being angry and inflicting serious damage. Time and time again in real life I have heard the ..sorry I didn't mean to do it..tale, for it only to be repeated.

He is abusing her trust , which she has stupidly given him.

Sorry but well written as it is, right now we are definitely not in the realms of BDSM

@masterfuljim: i agree that abuse plays no part in bdsm, but this is not a story about a seasoned master and his slut, but about a young man, little more than a boy, growing into his dominant role. of course he makes mistakes, and he is man enough to admit them and apologize. this is about exploration, and growing awareness.

That if the story lacked the deeper self-examination this one does, the awareness both of the characters and from the author's perspective, in how they're potrayed, of the inexperience and power of new unexplored feelings, I would likely be repelled by the story.

But the protagonist is very honest with himself right from the start. Where he is confused, he notes it and admits it even if he pushes it back. Where he is unduly angry, he often realizes it and reflects on it. He makes a commitment to ensuring that whatever happens, Jessica's choice has a huge part to play and sticks to that-more or less. In the moments he gets swept up in his anger, ideally he should probably take a step back and ask for consent again, but he's not ideal. He's still a novice.

Stephen is shown, and shown often, to be lacking in serious willpower he adopts when interacting with Jessica. Not only is this good storytelling because it's a rounded out portrayal of a human being, but it also highlights the peculiar expressions and needs for control and its lack in BDSM and other human interactions. Stephen is not at this point, and not even later really, a 'full Dominant' as it is often portrayed in fiction, particularly literotica fanfiction. He doesn't wander the world intimidating passersby with the strength of his gaze and the size of his bulge. Rather in certain situations, a need-a gratification in-control becomes more prevalent, I think. That's my take on Stephen at least, and that's before the much more personal issues of control and revenge and lust begin to be involved as they are with Jessica.

Interesting how quickly (well, it's actually 8 pages into the story, but still) Stephen begins to appreciate on a simple aesthetic level a more natural Jessica in terms of appearance. I wonder how much of that is simply because she is very attractive and he would really like to maneuver things such that they have sex, and how much is rooted in what might be an older desire to be liked by her? It must have hurt quite a lot for a young child to be greeted with such hostility for no apparent reason as the story hints was the past for the two of them.

Some potentially constructive criticism once more: though eventually you reach the point where it's explained, Jessica's all but seamless 'descent' (not exactly an appropriate word) into submission needs more background than even what is eventually explained, I think. As the story builds, it makes more and more sense as Stephen is able to win repeated battles of who will control their lust better than the other, and each subsequent encounter starts with him at a gradually increasing advantage on that basis, but still. While having seen more of Jessica, I can imagine many plausible reasons for her appreciation for submission-a relentless control in other parts of her life, high degrees of stress and ambition, an intellect and work ethic and physique and sexuality that serves to isolate her, guilt over mistreatment of her best friend's brother both for her best friend's sake and for Stephen's sake of himself, for example-I think that while some of these things are eventually explored a little, they are largely inferred for most of the story.

From Stephen's perspective, he knows that there is more going on than simply Jessica loving a big old dick, but he doesn't dig, really. Though on this basis you've got my compliments-he recognizes there's a much larger explanation than simple thwarted lust, but he shies away from thinking about it because of how it further humanizes and complicates Jessica in his mind. Solid storytelling there.

Something that perhaps might be another bit of constructive criticism: some guilt or reluctance to start throwing words like slut or whore around. It's complicated, of course, and tied up quite a lot in Stephen's past with Jessica and his need to settle the score and lash out against her as she obviously has so many times, but as Stephen is later portrayed, he's aware of double standards. He knows how unfair and hypocritical terms like that are to throw around. While I don't think he would pause much at all before using them to hurt Jessica and further sexualize their encounters (and hey, exploiting taboos can be fun even when we recognize what we're doing!:) ), but I wonder if it might be in keeping with Stephen's character to be uncomfortable with not just physical violence but such degrading expressions of verbal contempt as well? He might very well not express such thoughts to her at all for quite some time, but I think he might be aware of the problem between his own ears.

Anyway, this is getting far, far too long! I could talk about how I enjoyed all aspects of the belting, or the rest of the sex, or so on and so forth but that's another ten paragraphs at least. I hope some of this was helpful, and thanks again for sharing!:)

You are an amazing writer. These two live in my head now. Are they perfect? No. Are they a perfect example? No. Are they an example at all? No. Are they wonderfully portrayed in all their fallacies? God yes. I can't wait to read the rest.

Twisted.. Fucking twisted people...

I love it!!!

I love the slow realization of both of their needs and how a BDSM type relationship is fulfilling to both of them. Reminds me of discovering it myself and it's intriguing to read from the male perspective as its so rarely written like this! Hot hot scenes, great character development, and fascinating to read!

Holy sh*t, that's sooo good!!

Very nice.

But the guy need some serious mental healthcare. His anger management issues make Donald Duck look like a Dalai Lama on roofies. If he need to unleash in excess, do it on someone that hits back (Mike for example), not someone that trust him to be fair to her.

You are a talented writer! Lil Crazy! But that's what make it a fun read!

Dear god,, PLEASE make more of these. This is my ultimate fantasy written in perfect words and using the perfect structure. Keep up the good work, and pleeeeeaaaase make another!?!

To be honest I wasn't to sure what to expect this is my first time reading bdsm I got to page 5 before I had to stop reading. Someone getting off on hurting people I'm not a fan of. If that was my daughter I will rip him apart or hit him with a bat till he's dead i don't mind being a little rough but straight beating someone not the one.

im sorry ,i swear ill never do it again. until the mext time.

i thought the deal with true bdsm relationships was that one was a sub and gave up control and the other was a dom and took on control and responibility.

this does not sound like a good relationship to me.

if it continues in this manne, i too will quit reading.

not fun, not fun at all.

To the bdsm commenters. Read properly from chapter 1. The dom who was a virgin up until recently is still discovering who and what he is. And he is clearly finding his way and learning. Remember no one is perfect at something without trial and error and if you have not paid attention to what you reading and only skipping to the sex bits. The guy still has hang ups about the bitch mentally and emotionally abusing him for years. And hence he does lose control and admits his wrong and is trying to do it the right way. So stop reading only the sex parts and read it properly from the start as you will see they both learning about themselves and the type of relationship they have

Slap to the face? Your fantasy required it? Really?

A slap to the face is assault, a misdemeanor. Deposit this swill in N/C.

Clearly not everyone is open to getting slapped but I was pretty happy it was added to this chapter cause it’s something I’m into. Being slapped is a huge turn on and not everyone will understand that but I’m sure as hell glad it was added, so thanks & keep up the good work !

It's been years but every time I come back to this story I enjoy it. I'd sincerely love it if you continue it someday. I certainly hope life has been good to you and that you know that you've created something that goes far beyond just a run of the mill BDSM story here. You have real talent. Rare talent. So, thanks for sharing it with the world

I like the story but he is one sick fuck. His duty is to properly look after his slave. He is clearly failing in his duty. He is NOT worthy of her love.

He needs to be thoroughly horsewhipped like he has done to her.

Then he will understand his duty to her.

I really hope he grows into a responsible dom. Great story so far!

i've read this story so many times! amazing job, seriously.

This is not bdsm yeh I understand he was a virgin so he’s finding himself but to the author u can’t class this as bdsm stories like this are y bdsm gets such a bad rap an is misunderstood regardless of how she feels he is a sick vile abusive asshole attacking a vulnerable girl who to all intents an purposes doesn’t know herself an was technically a virgin too he’s not a Dom a Dom cares for their sub/slave but deep down he hates her which is so fucking dangerous he could go too far an kill her

Super toxic red flags all over this dynamic but good as a warning tale.

Pain play and sadism has to be explored with the utmost responsibility and maturity because the only thing dividing it from criminal abuse is the open and direct communication and boundaries agreed to beforehand. Being a young virgin does not excuse you from crossing boundaries when exploring your own sadism, any more than an inexperienced gun owner gets a pass for misusing his weapon.

This is NOT healthy or romantic as a dynamic, one can agree to that while giving these two the benefit of the doubt. In fact, this may be fairly true to life in how many young, inexperienced pain lovers get burned by toxic and abusive “doms” who have no real idea what “owning someone” and “discipline” actually is all about.

Hurting someone in anger is not ‘punishment’, it’s abuse. This kid needs help.

This psycho is so out of control. Here in the real world, no woman would put up with that level of abuse. Unless she was completely terrified of the guy. I am done with this storyline. 2 stars

Not sure I like the path this has taken, but 5 enthusiastic stars for intensity. The need and the desperation is palpable.