All Comments on 'Every Man's Fantasy Ch. 01'

Simple and effective first chapter. Yumi and Ezra. Looking forward to see where you go with this story. Please update soon.

Thanks for the comment. I hoped to write the story a lot faster but I have been delayed for many reasons. I hope you like where the story has been heading so far.

Nice intro to character and setting, with a sample of steam.

Jason

Coulda done without that. And no one wants to read the word spongey in a sex scene. Goodbye arousal.

I look forward to the subsequent installments,

I liked your characters, I found then believable and was

Interested in them and their development.

I disagree with the anonymous crank, the foreshadowing added

tension. I was expecting Yumi to drug/hijack

Ezra and that light anxiety made the happy resolution to their evening all

The more enjoyable.

On to chapter 2!

if you like almost satisfaction this is it .

What else is there to say right now. Shame he could get together with his original target though too.

Though I would have liked a bit more sci in the fi. It was very short and light on the kind of details that draw me to sci fi. Some short asides describing how life is different on the Capella spaceport compared to earth would have been nice. I didn't even know it was supposed to be an orbital until you mentioned corialis effects.

Also beside "pretty" we don't know anything about Yumi and even less about Ezra. I guess there's room for character development then. A lot of room.

Thanks for your comment, Pornocles.

There is more science to come. If I ever have time to make a revised version of the story, I'll take your advice and move some of the description of Capella Spaceport (which I put in later) to chapter 1.

Your comments on the lack of description are well taken.

Thanks, again.

Erinacious.

Have to say I enjoy this sort of story, but its got a tall mountain to climb

JC

Coming back to this story - I finally saw that there was a new chapter - made me nostalgic for all the details that make Ezra & Samothea's story so real to me.

I realized at once that I needed to return to the beginning once more as I explore the familiar yet fondly remembered path from Capella to Cloner Fair and beyond, and most especially all the adventures along the way :)

J

This is an updated version of chapter 1, adding more details about Capella Space Station and about hyperspace travel, and introducing some major characters early on.

Erinaceous.