All Comments on 'Christmas Hero'

this was a very good idea for a story but it just seemed way too short and very rushed.

I like your stories, but always feel like I am getting the Cliff's Notes version. Quick hitters are fine, but I feel that you are shortchanging your ideas.

I have to weigh in with the other comments. You had a good idea but presented it in much too short a story. You also have the timeline WAAAAAY wrong for the Medal of Honor. A year is fast for the paperwork and investigation of eligibility for this medal. The norm is nearer to two years. In any event you would never see this medal given out in just a month or two. I cannot believe Cassie's reaction to seeing Rick either. I can see him perhaps getting back with her after she saw the light but for her to immediately just dump Kyle and run to fall at Rick's feet in the ballroom? NAW, not agonna happen!

The idea for you story is great. I understand a little literary liscense, even with the CMH, but there is just so much more that you could have done. I have to agree with the peson who said you gave the "cliff note" version.

You've told this same basic story - wounded veteran comes home, girl doesn't understand, girl gets wise, vet and girl live happily ever after - often enough that now you're tired of it yourself and are hurrying through it. You're a good writer but you need a new angle.

Your details and timing are the only real problems here, as the other commentators have also indicated.

You have the kernel of a very good story here, but you overly Readers' Digest'd it.

This is a story that craves being drawn out slowly and carefully. Other authors of dime-store romances have made entire novels of lesser story lines than what you had your hands on here. This story line deserved greater respect and attention than you gave it here - both in terms of the gravity of the heroism and the honor &respect it deserves, as well as the twists and turns of a woman's heart. Neither subject should have been treated so abruptly here, and the rewards of such a story truly well told would be entirely self-evident.

I understand the impulse to rush, but this one should have been crafted carefully so the reader could saaavour it slowly and fully.

The groundwork was just barely laid for the story, and then it was over.

You seem to be stuck on the same plot,story after story,,,this one was just a bit shorter...if your getting bored with the story line,,,why dont you change it....its getting boring on this side too....

There seems to be a constant theme running through the comments. I must say I agree with them all. You have the kernel of a novel, but gave us an abbreviated short story, without fleshing it out.

Your grammar and spelling were very good, and your writing style not bad, other than rushing through it.

You need to do some research on the Marine Corps, and the military in general. First of all, a Marine never salutes in doors unless he is under arms. The MOH takes way longer to filter through the system, and then it NEVER is given in secret. Ramstein Air Base is one of the most highly guarded bases we have. I don't think they are all that worried about terrorists. Yes, they are a threat, but not much. No President would miss out on all the publicity and good press that comes with awarding our highest honor for exceptional service.

Please take these comments as constructive criticism and continue writing. You have obvious ability, but seem to lack the patience needed to hone your craft.

JC

Another rushed version of basically the SAME story! Your grammar, punctuation and spelling suck! Spell check doesn't do all that much.

there will always be detractors and means to accomplish. TK U MLJ LV NV

THE PROCESSES OF THE MILITARY PROCESSES AND THE TIMES IT TAKES FOR VARIOUS AWARDS THE MEDAL OF HONOR HAS NEVER BEEN PROCESSED THAT QUICKLY

Thanks for sharing. I like your style!!!

Really????

Sure girl I aint seen ya in years, and you thought I was some kind of massive coward because some gigalo jackass said so.... fuck off bitch.

2/5

I have read your other stories and i liked them. This is a Nice plot but it is way too short. Too bad. Thanks for your stories!

THIS IS A RECORDING.

Same old, same old.

A little short but a good story none the less.

very good, but i don't understand all the negative coments!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i've read all of your stories, and those of others who have the military in mind! and for the life of me, i cannot understand their bad comments! i'm an army veteran, had uncles in the navy, and support the wounded warriors program! hey, we are are mortals, and sometimes, more often than not make mistakes! is that all the readers are here for, is to find fault???????????????? give me a break!

Cassie makes up her mind that Rick was a coward and takes up with Kyle but as soon as Kyle looks to be in the shit she dumps him and tries to latch onto Rick again and Rick allows it?

Too far fetched for it to be believable

it wasn't right or left blood that i lost,it was american blood.we all are american.

But it was too short. You definately should have continued in detail with the fallout for the Beekmans and especially, Kyle. Like; what were his sources, what was the secret military information that put men's lives in danger, why did he do it? I suspect he wanted Cassie but you should have gone in to more detail how he got her to abandon her high regards and love for Rick. Maybe even from her POV to explain what she was thinking. Then having Rick just take her back so fast knowing that she was so quick to betray him and think the worst. I imagine she's been in a "close" relationship with Kyle. It started out good but then you just stopped. This story is in the Romance category but you skipped everything that had to do with romance. This story had a lot of potential but you dropped the ball. It wasn't even very Christmassy. Maybe you can come out with "the Aftermath" or FinishTheDamnStory will.

What's not to understand about the negative comments? I can forgive the story developing too quickly, but this Cassie person, what kind of nitwit is she? She dumps Rick first, then she drops Kyle like a hot potatoe when things become too complicated for him, and Rick is not even a bit uncertain about what type of woman she is and takes her back on a few totally inadequate words of remorse? Even her own father is disappointed in her. That definitely needed more time before a reconciliation could happen. If a reconciliation should have happened at all.

Love all your stories. This one I think did need more fleshing out. Or at least him shunning the girl that came back to him. How she acted was, well reflective of a girl he is better off without. They dated and she knew him so poorly she believed this of him? No probable just another cheating woman.

May all leaders have the honor shown in your stories. But in the real world even the Commandant of the Marines office refuses to obey their OATH!!!

Cassie needs more than a skip and go prancing reward for her dishonor

No romance here, the only interaction between them is her falling at his feet and giving a poor apology.

A Medal of Honor recipient so quick to forgive and even reward dishonor against him?

The man is a Marine do you really believe he would so quickly forgive and forget she was sleeping with HIS enemy?

It doesn't really deserve a whole star.

Story is good needs another chapter

Good story add to it

Entertaining until you drove this off the cliff at the end. Which really wasn't an ending. Does he really forgive Cassie? Why would he? She's utterly and totally betrayed him. I don't think a Marine forgets or forgives that level of betrayal. So that, all by itself, ruined the ending. And what happened with the Beekmans and the lawsuit? This needed more at the beginning to really explain his relationship with Cassie and the Town in general. And much, much more was needed at the ending. I gave you a 2 because I enjoyed this until the very end and then it went to hell in a hand basket.

Semper Fi! Understand?

I am not one to decry heroes or the military but this is sacherine, over-simplistic, sentimental mawkish drivel !

Semper fidelis is a Latin phrase that means "always faithful" or "always loyal".

In the United States it is best known as the motto of the United States Marine Corps.

With that in mind does it seem likely that a Marine, a decorated veteran would instantly and casually forgive someone for betraying him?

For being extremely disloyal to him?

And to top that off showing disrespect to not only the Marine Corps, but the US as well?

This author can write entertaining stories, but for some reason almost always gets in a big rush at the end to finish the story. It is unsettling and tends to make the reader feel they have been cheated by having a significant part of the story left out. It reads like a book that has had a few pages torn out of it.

Eat shit annony!! bonnie is right you are the asshole of LIT!!

I love all your stories but this needs a sequel to explain the whole story. Don't worry it's great "BUT"... Love you all! Bye. Greg. Oh 9stars OH! You have done this recently in your latest story. BYE.

BUT any girl that gives up that easily is a cheater and extremely likely to do again at some point. The only thing I can see here is a loving wives story of a cheater, sorry.

So she knew him well.

She believed the lies, or an excuse to cheat?

Why would he want her?

This needs a sequel to address their relationship else the story just feels half done.

Very fine writing.

I would love for a lying p.o.s to get into a confrontation with a certain marine captain.

Cassie baby was probably getting her cunt drilled by kyle, so why take the skank back???

I liked the story except for two things. First, it was way too short and second is cassie. He should have never taken her back, NEVER.

Oh Rick I am sorry I'm getting my pussie destroyed by Karls big cock! But if I can Bullshit and beg you to take me back I promise to Fuck all big bull cocked men while you are not around, let's just say what you don't know won't hurt you. Oh please Rick take me back Kyle is going to be a bitch to a big bad Dude in the Big House. And I want your Prestige and your money You can keep your dick Im going to get me some big cock! What do you say Rick PLEEEEEEEEEZE I LOVED EVERY ONE OF YOUR STORIES GATOR RICK. Thanks GREG OH 100 % OF READING ENJOYMENT BYE.

If he takes Cassie back as this story implies at the end than he is a moron and I don't give stories with willfully stupid characters anything but a 1. Sorry I won't support this. I did not enjoy this and the author has this hero lined up for more heartache. Fuck that.

I won't nitpick about Cassie - forgiveness is a characteristic of love, not logic and this is a fantasy. I will nitpick about customers of the service though. Please do the research. The naval service (of which the USMC is part) does not wear headgear indoors, and does not salute while uncovered indoors, unless they are "under arms".

the brain and heart returns to what it was before; TK U MLJ LV NV

HOO RAH NO CASSIE

It was a good story until he took Cassie back. She showed she can not be trusted.

I have to agree with others, forgiving a traitorous bitch and allowing her back into your life just doesn’t make sense. Plus, I think it’s against Marine Corps policy. And I have to say, that was a super rush job on that MOH.

A good start on a story but just not enough of it. Very weak ending. Plus, as others have noted, he really needs to think long and hard about whether to let the fickle bitch back into his life.

What kind of an ASSHOLE would show up wearing the medal of honor ribbon??? ANY military man would be embarrassed and NOT feel like a hero, just doing his job as anyone else would have done given the circumstances. The real hero's are in body bags. You don't honor the military Author by making us look like a bunch of cheap glory hogs.

As a non American, I have to comment on the political slant to this story. Kyle should have a been an republican since they appear to be the ones producing fake news as seen nightly on Fox News TV.

Good short story , my friend . Amazing ! One of your critics , who states he/ she is not American , takes great offence at the " political leaning " of your story . I'm not American , living in the UK . I am a member , not one of the pathetic gang who criticise , conveniently , from an " anonymous " position . Keep up the writing mate , your good !

Wasn't Cassie married to that newspaper douche?

This story really begs for another Chapter to delve further into the ramifications of all concerned.

I would have given this story a 5 plus so many more if not for the part of the pathetic little Cassie. She should have been told to eat shit with the beekmans!!!

Pity really.

Just unfinished business with the girlfriend.

Your on the money with the looney left though.

A lot crammed into one page could been longer making it even better, unlike me you have that ability.

Too short. Plus she threw away her faith in him. Forgiveness should NOT have been granted to her. Thus the ending turned this story from a rating of 5 to a 3

"On the stage was a podium displaying the Seal of the President of the United States." Nope displaying the Seal would be a lectern, the stage is the podium.

Good story, somewhat rushed, perhaps.

He should have dumped the gold digger.

I agree with some of the comments, there is too much unfinished business to leave the story where it is. Come on GatorRick gives us the readers a conclusion what ever that might be.

Awesome starting point.

I agree with the others who said there’s to much missing to have it end here plus Cassie needs to atone for her bull shit of believing he was a coward.

And?

Cassie DOES'NT deserve forgiveness

It was a great story till it got to the very end with cassie, felt really rushed to close it out. Keep writing.

So, he took Suzie Rottencrotch back after the let Jody defile her... No. Just no. Cassie goes to the curb.

Of all your stories, I hated this one because of its terrible ending.

Hate the ending, too much left out. There should be at least a part two!!!!

Bravo Zulu!!!

Cassie belongs in the STREET!!!

He is a great person.

He has forgiven her and the evil family has been punished

Good story

Prior points made about Cassie's unworthiness, brevity of story and abrupt ending are all valid. But a reminder from last week's Memorial Day. "It's not the soap box agitator who protects freedom of speech, nor the journalist freedom of the press nor the televangelist freedom of worship. It is the service member who salutes the flag, defends the flag and whose body lies beneath the flag which protects the protester's right to burn the flag." Semper fi

Anon56

Fuck no, she doesn't deserve him. She made her choice and she deserves to live with it. The shortness of the story doesn't give us any reason to change that opinion.

If I was in his position while she was grovelling at my feet, I would’ve whipped out my dick and pissed all over her and said look what you missed out on bitch and then told her to fuck off. Good story but the ending for me was disappointing..

"Cassie was the Judge's only daughter and had dated Rick all through high school and until the time Rick had entered the Marine Corps."

So technically she would not have been cheating and would have able to date whoever she wished as they were not a couple whilst Rick was in service .....

One thing I take issue with in this type of story is the apparent misunderstanding by the author and principal characters that there is no mail, telephone, or computer service in Germany or Alaska or wherever else the story may happen to be taking place. Also, the military services go to great length to notify the listed next of kin or close friend that the service man or woman has designated to be notified in case of something happening. Him being in the hospital should not have been a secret. If nothing else Cassie should have received a letter from him after he had regained consciousness after his surgery or even before his surgery.

Another Trump loving writer. How about your Right wing storming the capital or telling women what to do with there bodies. How does it feel that you are now forever a Trumper supporting and defending his white supremacy views

As far as the story. Seems by your words all you Righties are always love to sleep with whores.

Would have been a 5, but your ending sucked. She would have needed to work a lot harder to have him take her back.

By definition though, she did not cheat on him, as she thought he was dead.

Gator Rick is a good author and this was a wonderful story written in 2013. However, the writer was attacked for allegedly supporting a president that who not even aa candidate when the story was written.

On of the reasons that I am not a member of Literotica is that too many members act like ignorant fools.

The authors gift us with great entertainment and deserve far better treatment than the often receive.

Not a member

The Hoary Cleric (from Down-Under)

Americans have an ingrained hatred for each other. Especially towards fellow Americans that do not share their exact views on religion, politics or the best flavour of chewing gum. The rest of the world quietly laughs behind Americas back in the projection of American military force while Americans are killing each other faster than any other nationality does. The belief is just leave America alone to destroy itself with the Right vs Left.

Captain Rick should have let Cassie go -- after he had spoken briefly with her. He deserves someone else who can learn to love the wounded -- and healing -- young man. It would be nice to see him remove his clothing -- maybe for his new girlfriend to see him in his boxers, seeing the healed wounds to his arms and legs, and the miracle of healing his wounded head. Let her see his sexy body, maybe with his mature body with sexy chest hair -- so Cassie can see what she had given up You are a great writer. Please add more to your stories!

Only 3 Stars because of him taking back the Left Wing believing Bitch at the end. She had already took up with the other guy and one would presume been having sex with him, instead of waiting for the MC .