Intolerance: a

Attached is a link to a forum posting at bondage.com.

The thread has been started to solicit financial assistance for a regular board member who's children have been removed from her care allegedly, spurred on by her BDSM activities.

http://bondage.com/forums/topic/15543/1

Could this really happen?

Does it happen?

How far would you go to help someone in this situation?

How far would you go to help an anonymous poster on the internet?

I can easily believe that this could happen. I read through the link and I believe that, as so often happens, anything is dragged from the air to enable one parent's claim over the other, rather than a definite fear on the husbands half that the children are being corrupted.

As for your other questions, that is harder. If it was a friend (from a munch group, or just another lifestyler that I know) I would do my damndest to support anyway I could, whether that be through holding hands and standing up in court or ironing shirts and washing up to take some of the pressure off.

Online? harder. the DBUK trauma on the GB right now has reiterated to me how hard it is to trust anyone at face value, and I havent been around long enough to tell the trolls from the genuine posters. Im learning, but I dont feel entirely confident. would i hand over money to a complete stranger? i dont know. it would have to happen here for me to know.

looking forward to hearing the replies of those with children.

Sad to say, that sort of thing happens all the time.
If someone I had come to know online was in trouble, I could see kicking in to help, but you have to be careful. A few years ago a lot of people on a list I was on gave money to a couple who told everyone they were going to lose their kids because her family had found out about their sm lives and reported them to social services, and it turned out to be bullshit.
Not to imply anything about this woman, but Im just saying be careful.

MissTaken said:

Attached is a link to a forum posting at bondage.com.

The thread has been started to solicit financial assistance for a regular board member who's children have been removed from her care allegedly, spurred on by her BDSM activities.


Could this really happen?

Does it happen?

How far would you go to help someone in this situation?

How far would you go to help an anonymous poster on the internet?

Click to expand...

Admittedly, I did not read through the entire link. But, working in California for Children's Protection Services, it is highly unlikely that the only reason the children were taken away and a TRO was issued was because some one called this person at home and said they were from Bondage.com. Yes, it might have been an impetus, and coupled with other things as well. There is mention made that this woman needs a home when her children are returned to her. Where is she now? She has no funds - how does she survive? There could be very good answers to these questions, but they arouse suspicison with me.

Unless a child is being used in a parent's sexual activities (pedophilia) or unless they are being subjected to blatant activities (watching a parent copulating), one's sexuality is not brought into the picture, solely. A person involved in BDSM, and who puts their children in a position to possible watch or "peek" would be putting themselves in danger. I don't know of anyone who would do this.

This post sounds like a custody dispute. We see hundreds of such claims each year. They are a drain on the public resources, take up valuable court time, and cause unneeded anguish for all parties combined. Unfortunately CPS cannot just simply write off every possible custody case. They must be investigated, and sometimes children are taken in an effort to err on the side of caution. (And for those who doubt this, we have had cases were social workers have been "lenient" in letting children stay in unfit homes, only to have them hurt or even killed at a later time.)

I don't mean to downplay this woman's plight, but it is very unlikely that her sexual habits would involve the removal of her children. CPS has gone much farther than that over the years.

Does it happen? What? That children are taken because of a parent's sexual preferences? No. Otherwise, we would be removing children from gay homes. Social workers, for the most part, are also Marriage and Family Therapists, and as such, are very familiar with certains aspects of BDSM - possibly more than most are aware.

How far would I go to help? Well, if I knew them personally, I would assist with helping them to find an attorney, informing them of community resources, hooking them up with people who can tell them what their rights are. If they are a close personal friend, I would loan or give money to them.

Anonymous poster to the internet? No, I would not offer anything more than pointing them in the direction of resources that might be available to them in their particular circumstance.

But then, I'm rather cautious.

Yes, Sexy Chele,

My thoughts exactly. I used to work CPS in New York and found it hard to believe that the children would be removed solely because of mother's sexual preferences.

Now, if she were in the dungeon for a weekend and the children were made to fend for themselves?
Or if the children were subjected to humiliation or any sexual play?

Different story.

The woman needs a home and a job? What has she been doing ?

Re: Re: Intolerance: a

SexyChele said:

Admittedly, I did not read through the entire link. But, working in California for Children's Protection Services, it is highly unlikely that the only reason the children were taken away and a TRO was issued was because some one called this person at home and said they were from Bondage.com. Yes, it might have been an impetus, and coupled with other things as well. There is mention made that this woman needs a home when her children are returned to her. Where is she now? She has no funds - how does she survive? There could be very good answers to these questions, but they arouse suspicison with me.

Unless a child is being used in a parent's sexual activities (pedophilia) or unless they are being subjected to blatant activities (watching a parent copulating), one's sexuality is not brought into the picture, solely. A person involved in BDSM, and who puts their children in a position to possible watch or "peek" would be putting themselves in danger. I don't know of anyone who would do this.

This post sounds like a custody dispute. We see hundreds of such claims each year. They are a drain on the public resources, take up valuable court time, and cause unneeded anguish for all parties combined. Unfortunately CPS cannot just simply write off every possible custody case. They must be investigated, and sometimes children are taken in an effort to err on the side of caution. (And for those who doubt this, we have had cases were social workers have been "lenient" in letting children stay in unfit homes, only to have them hurt or even killed at a later time.)

I don't mean to downplay this woman's plight, but it is very unlikely that her sexual habits would involve the removal of her children. CPS has gone much farther than that over the years.

Does it happen? What? That children are taken because of a parent's sexual preferences? No. Otherwise, we would be removing children from gay homes. Social workers, for the most part, are also Marriage and Family Therapists, and as such, are very familiar with certains aspects of BDSM - possibly more than most are aware.

How far would I go to help? Well, if I knew them personally, I would assist with helping them to find an attorney, informing them of community resources, hooking them up with people who can tell them what their rights are. If they are a close personal friend, I would loan or give money to them.

Anonymous poster to the internet? No, I would not offer anything more than pointing them in the direction of resources that might be available to them in their particular circumstance.

But then, I'm rather cautious.

Click to expand...

I cannot add anything this. Ditto.

Ebony

oh i hope it isnt a scam. when kind people give of themselves to help what they think is a worthy cause, only to find out that it was a scam, it makes them less likely to help out someone the next time. some one who might really need their help. but then again, if it isnt a scam, then certainly something else must be going on for her to have such a harsh restraining order put on her right?

A True Story For you.

Great question, MissTaken.

I've worked online since '93 and have seen most every money scam...I think.

Others have covered that angle.

In terms of the intolerance question....I once was tasked with public relations at a national publically traded internet provider.


(CarolineOh...go ahead.... fill your boots with that thought! )


The chairman and president were both baptists.

Two other execs, married with kids, were a Domme and Sub couple, with a bdsm web site on company servers giving lots of direct, open information and photography about their lives.

To complicate matters, She left her sub-hub for His boss...a closeted married cross dresser.

Well, it all wound up slipping out...and into the media.

What do you think happened?

True story;
Lance

I have to agree with all... I worked in the mental health field for almost 10 years. Something is not quite right here.

There is more to the story than meets the eye...

MissTaken said:

The thread has been started to solicit financial assistance for a regular board member who's children have been removed from her care allegedly, spurred on by her BDSM activities.

http://bondage.com/forums/topic/15543/1

Could this really happen?

Does it happen?

How far would you go to help someone in this situation?

How far would you go to help an anonymous poster on the internet?

Click to expand...

It really does happen. I was just talking with a friend who lost custody of her five children because her ex knew of her BDSM activities.

How far i'd go to help someone in that situation would depend on how well i knew them. If i knew the person to be a responsible, loving parent then i would do whatever i could to help them. I don't think i would help an anonymous poster on the Internet. There's just no way to verify their story, and no way of knowing what his or her children were exposed to. Guess i'm getting old and jaded.

Actually, i had a date Saturday night with someone who knows this woman in real life and knows the situation. It's taking place in my neck of the woods - and it's for real.

Thi woman was one who did a lot of very public sceneing. She was a heavy pain player. Her husband knew about what she was doing and they had arrived at a parting of the ways - and things turned ugly.

Y'all who are new to this can't know how "normal" this kind of terror used to be for all of us just a few years ago, how often this kind of thing happened. No one interfered back then, no one could help, no one could interfere.

I'm very afraid we're going back toward those times. I can't imagine we'll ever really slide all the way back, but our brief period to be openly sexual BDSM'ers seems to be coming to a squeezed-down close all over the USA, at least.