Questions to a Domme

I think this thread is wonderful. I will answer questions if you wish and I think the other Dommes (H) and Doms will also?

I am lesbian so I am exclusively to Domme women so please remember. I have Dommed men in my past but as a favour to a friend who needed this. I enjoyed the theatre of the scene but not much more with a man.

We women are complex when it comes to this

Feels like "home" *chuckles*

How could I NOT answer to this "call" and line up with lovely Nessus to welcome all questions and discussions on the Dom/me side of things?

That is what you get when you turn your back to this place for a day or two *chuckles*

Whips, Chains And Soul Melting Dommes

All In One Room!

My Goodness Gracious What Will Be Next? The All Buffy The Vampire Slayer Channel

I Have A Question!

There Is Always The Joke Of "The Whip", But Just How Many Of You Actually Use The Bull Whip?

Was It Really Hard To Learn And Wield It?


I Have Always Had A Really Big Thing For Learning This Art. Inform Me

Bull Whip?

I have not used it, I am not big enough I think.

Do you concern yourself with the level of pleasure the sub ultimately feels in sexual moments with you?

I haven't played with bull whips either. Call me a perfectionist and to handle one of those babies propperly it would take a lot of practice and talent... and I have not yet had the chance or time to find out about either. It is on my "wish list" though - eventually ...

Do I care for my sub's pleasures? Yes, I do ... as with everything else - if you want a repeat chance to something good you better make it good for both parties involved.

And on a more personal note - I am basically in love with my sub - and I will do whatever I can to give pleasure to my lover, to the person who I want to mae happy (even if ours may be a twisted way of making someone happy). So yes, I do care a lot about my sub's pleasure - more so than about my own at times (even though I'd never let her know officially *chuckling softly*)

Is there a single part of being a dom that gives you the most pleasure? I know that some folks are into pain, others control, other humiliation, and some all of these things. Is there anything that stands above the others in terms of your own pleasure. Is the subs devotion to you a physical manifestation of the love they feel and does that add to the relationship in general?

I have heard<can't remember where> that a sub should never fall in love with their Dom/me. How do you feel about this?

I am struggling with the idea of humiliation vs. being cared for. Have you ever dealt with a situation where the sub isn't able to handle humilitation psychologically? What happens when a sub breaks? Is she supposed to turn to her Dom? grrrrr. I'm sure I have more questions in this arena, it's my windmill.

perks

perky_baby said:

What happens when a sub breaks?

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A strong and skilled Dom/me would notice prior to their sub breaking and would not allow it to occur. A Master I speak with spent 6 months as a sub to learn the other side, she released him upon realizing that to continue would involve breaking him.

Dawn

A note on bullwhips...

Not my normal topic, offhand, but a friend asked me to chime in with my particular knowledge in the area.

While the eroticism of the whip is a widely known historical tidbit, there is certainly some Truth to what Hecate says..though for a slightly different reason. It's not a matter of perfection, it's a matter of safety.

The whip is not an easy art to master, and in the proper hands it is just that, an art. No less than swordsmanship, balet, or Flamenco. It is also an incredibly dangerous "toy", that can do tremendous amounts of damage. Whips have been used historically as a weapon on the battlefield, as well as a utility item for tradesman, and herders.

It actually takes very little physical effort to use a whip correctly, and effectively. Which is one of the things that makes it dangerous. If you do not know what you are doing, you can cause someone rather serious harm, accidentally. The cracking of a whip is the result of the "cracker" (The small bit of braided thread on the very end) breaking the sound barrier. That Crack is a sonic bom. Lets think on that for a sec...1360 feet per second...hitting a person's skin. There are guns that don't fire projectiles that fast. Even if you do not INTEND to crack it, if you do not know what you are doing, the mechanics of a whip are so effective, that it may well do it regardless of what you intend.

I am not a Dom, nor am I a sub...I am just a man that makes whips, and knows a bit about their use, and history. If you are going to consider it as part of your lifestyle, I suggest a very thorough education in it first.

Did anyone else sort of vibrate in time with the beating of her heart when reading Savant73's words about whips?

Ahem.
Excuse me... just a subbie fantasy moment there... please continue...

Care MUST Be Taken!

Savant73 said:

Not my normal topic, offhand, but a friend asked me to chime in with my particular knowledge in the area.

Who?


The whip is not an easy art to master, and in the proper hands it is just that, an art. No less than swordsmanship, balet, or Flamenco. It is also an incredibly dangerous "toy", that can do tremendous amounts of damage. Whips have been used historically as a weapon on the battlefield, as well as a utility item for tradesman, and herders.

See! This, Is What I'm Talking About An Artform To Be Reckoned With!
It Already Sounds Like A Serious Whack Of Fun!


I am not a Dom, nor am I a sub...I am just a man that makes whips, and knows a bit about their use, and history.

You Make Them...Well Then Tell Me ALL About Them! And Some Links For The History Of The Whip Would Be Mucho Appreciated

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1: Georgia Girl

2: Yes it is fun, personally though I am just one that enjoys the discipline of learning physical arts. Besides, how can you know if you've made a good whip, if you don't know how to use it? But again, I stress the safety of the issue. It would be a small matter to break ribs, or crush a throat. It isn't quite as large a concern with the smaller signal ships, and even the shorter Bullwhips...but it is still something to consider.

3: David Morgan

Dave is one of the few true craftsmen of whip making left. He is the one that has made most of the whips that you see used in the various TV shows, and hollywood movies. (including the catwoman whip from Batman 2, the whips from the Mask of Zorro, and all of the Indiana Jones whips.)

He is an invaluable source of information, and a very nice guy, to boot. While he does not cater to whips for this sort of activity (he is geared towards actual functional working uses, as well as showmen) his knowledge is quite extensive.

perky_baby said:

I have heard<can't remember where> that a sub should never fall in love with their Dom/me. How do you feel about this?

I am struggling with the idea of humiliation vs. being cared for. Have you ever dealt with a situation where the sub isn't able to handle humilitation psychologically? What happens when a sub breaks? Is she supposed to turn to her Dom? grrrrr. I'm sure I have more questions in this arena, it's my windmill.

perks

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I agree with Hecate, I am in love with my sub, it is love that binds us and the understanding of each needs. A D/s relationship is built on trust as is love.

Do I care about her needs? But of course, I am in her head and I know those needs and what will give her pleasure a little before her I think

Humilation is a tool I use well, it is very useful with female subs, I think

alltherage said:

Is there a single part of being a dom that gives you the most pleasure? I know that some folks are into pain, others control, other humiliation, and some all of these things. Is there anything that stands above the others in terms of your own pleasure. Is the subs devotion to you a physical manifestation of the love they feel and does that add to the relationship in general?

Click to expand...

For me it is the control that gives me pleasure and to give pleasure to my lover who is submissive. But it is the devotion and committment, each in their own way that makes me soar.

I have completed a little story that is about the testing of that committment, it should be published in a few days I think

Nessus said:

Humilation is a tool I use well, it is very useful with female subs, I think

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I'm scared of that. I tend to get bratty and then it all falls to shit. <sigh>
I don't even know the right questions to ask.

Nessus said:

Humilation is a tool I use well, it is very useful with female subs, I think

Click to expand...

Not only with female subs humiliation is a very powerful tool. I just love mind games of any kind, but you have to know your sub well to pull it off.

Monika

Re: A note on bullwhips...

Savant73 said:

Not my normal topic, offhand, but a friend asked me to chime in with my particular knowledge in the area.

While the eroticism of the whip is a widely known historical tidbit, there is certainly some Truth to what Hecate says..though for a slightly different reason. It's not a matter of perfection, it's a matter of safety.

The whip is not an easy art to master, and in the proper hands it is just that, an art. No less than swordsmanship, balet, or Flamenco. It is also an incredibly dangerous "toy", that can do tremendous amounts of damage. Whips have been used historically as a weapon on the battlefield, as well as a utility item for tradesman, and herders.

It actually takes very little physical effort to use a whip correctly, and effectively. Which is one of the things that makes it dangerous. If you do not know what you are doing, you can cause someone rather serious harm, accidentally. The cracking of a whip is the result of the "cracker" (The small bit of braided thread on the very end) breaking the sound barrier. That Crack is a sonic bom. Lets think on that for a sec...1360 feet per second...hitting a person's skin. There are guns that don't fire projectiles that fast. Even if you do not INTEND to crack it, if you do not know what you are doing, the mechanics of a whip are so effective, that it may well do it regardless of what you intend.

I am not a Dom, nor am I a sub...I am just a man that makes whips, and knows a bit about their use, and history. If you are going to consider it as part of your lifestyle, I suggest a very thorough education in it first.

Click to expand...

I agree very much! A bull whip is dangerous and if you don't know how to handle it properly, you can injure a person very serverely.
And you need a lot of space to use a bull whip, a "normal" whip is about 4 to 8 feet long, so you need at least that space all around you, plus the length of your arm. And you don't want any items standing around, because they either break if you hit them or your whip gets caught and you can't control where it goes.

I tried a well made bull whip once, cracking it isn't that hard, but hitting a target... uh oh... I hit a branch lying on the floor, wow it went right through and sent the pieces flying. Now imagine that on bare skin. <shudder>
I'm thinking of getting a bull whip, but not for use, just as a show piece to scare a sub. I wouldn't even dream of using it.

Thank you for your insights on whip making and handling, Savant.

Monika

My pleasure, Monika..

While I may not be a member of this commmunity, or a subscriber to this particular lifestyle, I can certainly understand the interest in this particular facet of things.

As with any form of power, the wielder must understand and respect the implications, hazards, and repercussions of that power. I have a friend, far better with the whip than I am (at least he was back then) who knocked himself out, with a mild concussion due to a mis-stroke with a whip. No mean feat, as he's one seriously tough SOB, all things considered. Now, if he can do that, knowing what he's doing...what harm can you do to your partner, if you do not?

Enthusiasm without knowledge is a sure way to harm not only what you are striking, but a good way to harm yourself as well.

Frouwa_Aph said:

Not only with female subs humiliation is a very powerful tool. I just love mind games of any kind, but you have to know your sub well to pull it off.

Monika

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But of course, that is accepted

Savant73 said:

While I may not be a member of this commmunity, or a subscriber to this particular lifestyle, I can certainly understand the interest in this particular facet of things.

Click to expand...

Love is always about balance of power and the intimate knowledge of your lover, yes?

We are more intimate,perhaps?

More? I'm not one to say, as I do not have factual knowledge of that particular comparrison. There are those that know the depths of my particular passions, and intimicies. Ask them if it is greater or lesser.

As far as the knowledge of your lover is concerned...on the topic at hand, it comes to a matter of your trusting that they know the instrument in their hand, and your limitations. Or if you are looking at the reverse of the situation, knowing your lover's deepest soul is irrelevant if you can not control what you are inflicting on them.

My only point here is to instill some measure of caution in those that would hold in their hands an instrument quite capable of killing thier partner. One that requires quite a bit of skill to wield effectively.

Take that or leave it, as you choose.

Savant73 said:

More?
Take that or leave it, as you choose.

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I do not use the whip or things like it to control.

I use subtle things, love, teasing, mind control and a little restraint/pain.
That is all.

You are such a serious man. There is laughter out there.

I am, to a limited extent, quite serious. I am never light hearted when it comes to anytihng that can cause harm on this scale.

Now on the other hand, I am quite light hearted at times. I laugh at a great many things that people would not thing laughable. Including myself, who is as human and fallible as anyone else. Not to mention funny looking.

But never...ever...laugh at anything that could harm a loved one.