KillerMuffin
Seraphically Disinclined
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What exactly is it? What is it used for? Does it work? Any illumination would be wonderful.
Thank you.
Thank you.
DomSpace
- Thread starter KillerMuffin
- Start date
JazzManJim
On the Downbeat
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KM, I can't really add much to answer your questions, because this is something I don't believe I've ever experienced.
I fact, my own opinion is that there is no such thing. I'm sure, having said that, I'll be soundly denounced, and if I am, I'll be happy for it. I can say that I don't know a single Dom/me who has experienced it.
Sorry.
I fact, my own opinion is that there is no such thing. I'm sure, having said that, I'll be soundly denounced, and if I am, I'll be happy for it. I can say that I don't know a single Dom/me who has experienced it.
Sorry.
Hecate
Lady Hecate will do
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OK - I opened that thread now for the third time and this time will reply...
I have been asked about DomSpace before and back then as it is now my answer is "I don't know!"
If I compare it with sub space descriptions I am glad I don't know because I wouldn't trust myself for much if I reached that mental level with the power in hand to seriously harm. It lead to a story that turned out more psychologically scary than enlightening, but I still have not found another approach to "Dom Space" yet.
I shall let you know as soon as I found it.
Said all the above, of course there is a particular thrill in being "in charge", in control to a degree that is hardly possible to raise, on a physical and thus for large parts mental level (never underestimate the psychological damage you can do in a D/s relation!!!!). It is intoxicating, sweet and dangerous maybe - it makes me feel ALIVE! AWARE!
Yet - I would never call it Dom Space as compared to sub space levels - simply because I will never "let go", "give in" to this High to any level that may influence my judgemental capabilities as to my responsibility and the potential dangers of a scene. So if I am a control freak *winks* it is mainly a self-control freak.
I have been asked about DomSpace before and back then as it is now my answer is "I don't know!"
If I compare it with sub space descriptions I am glad I don't know because I wouldn't trust myself for much if I reached that mental level with the power in hand to seriously harm. It lead to a story that turned out more psychologically scary than enlightening, but I still have not found another approach to "Dom Space" yet.
I shall let you know as soon as I found it.
Said all the above, of course there is a particular thrill in being "in charge", in control to a degree that is hardly possible to raise, on a physical and thus for large parts mental level (never underestimate the psychological damage you can do in a D/s relation!!!!). It is intoxicating, sweet and dangerous maybe - it makes me feel ALIVE! AWARE!
Yet - I would never call it Dom Space as compared to sub space levels - simply because I will never "let go", "give in" to this High to any level that may influence my judgemental capabilities as to my responsibility and the potential dangers of a scene. So if I am a control freak *winks* it is mainly a self-control freak.
JazzManJim
On the Downbeat
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Hecate said:
Well, let me toss something at you, then.
Perhaps that feeling is what might be meant by "Dom Space"?
There's that feeling of being "in the zone" that you get sometimes, when you're with a sub - that feeling that you're completely on top of things in a way that goes beyond merely having control of the situation, that you're almost acting on what the sub does before the sub does it and every single movement is confident, without a moment's hesitation, and perfect for the moment. It's like being in a basketball game and not being able to miss, even when you're taking wild-assed shots you'd never make in your life until that game.
Maybe that's what we're talking about, as opposed to the comparative control loss of "sub space". Maybe it's about being so on top of the situation that you're aware of things you've never been aware of before. If that's what we could say "Dom Space" is, yeah..I was there once. I'll never forget it.
cymbidia
unrepentant pervert
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Almost a year ago, i read an essay entitled "Dominant Space".
It was an eye-opener for me, and a space, a place, a mode of emotion for Dominants that i'd never considered.
Here's a link to the essay. It's well written and fascinating. Please read it, if you will, if you have the interest and time. I'd love to discuss your take on it, particularly with respect to the progressively deeper immersion into this DomSpace one goes as a direct result of how deep your sub goes into his/her own space.
http://members.aol.com/MasterNik/DomSpace.html
I'm *fascinated* by the thought that you guys have an analogous headspace to the far better known subspace that we have.
On another note, last year Hecate wrote a story based, in part, on her reading of this very same essay. It was an eminently well-done story about a Domme walking the edge of her control between erotic pain and damage to her submissive, and her reaction to losing that edge, even for a short time.
Hecate? I hope that you don't mind that i ref'ed your story here. It seems an appropriate place and it is a good story. If you do not mind, will you provide a link?
It was an eye-opener for me, and a space, a place, a mode of emotion for Dominants that i'd never considered.
Here's a link to the essay. It's well written and fascinating. Please read it, if you will, if you have the interest and time. I'd love to discuss your take on it, particularly with respect to the progressively deeper immersion into this DomSpace one goes as a direct result of how deep your sub goes into his/her own space.
http://members.aol.com/MasterNik/DomSpace.html
I'm *fascinated* by the thought that you guys have an analogous headspace to the far better known subspace that we have.
On another note, last year Hecate wrote a story based, in part, on her reading of this very same essay. It was an eminently well-done story about a Domme walking the edge of her control between erotic pain and damage to her submissive, and her reaction to losing that edge, even for a short time.
Hecate? I hope that you don't mind that i ref'ed your story here. It seems an appropriate place and it is a good story. If you do not mind, will you provide a link?
JazzManJim
On the Downbeat
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cymbidia said:
I have to say that, having read that, I'm not at all in complete agreement. I rarely ever find myself in a "neutral" or coasting situation based on my being a Dom. I sometimes am that way mentally because I'm tired or distracted, but I never remain that way for long.
I do, however, agree that the deeper a sub goes, the deeper a Dom can go. It's the classic feedback loop: the Dom feeds off of the sub who feeds of the Dom and so on. However, this can be very dangerous, as the author pointed out. I doubt very seriously that I'd allow myself to be in a situation that could spiral that out of control that quickly and bring harm to someone. I'm too paranoid about myself in many ways to allow that. I know what I could do if I didn't have control and I'm not going to risk that.
But it shouldn't be much of a surprise that a Dom can fed off of what the sub is giving off. After all, what we're doing is as much for her pleasure as mine, Domly statements about pleasing me notwithstanding. The more pleasure she gets, the better I get and the more focused. I can refine what I"m doing as I know what's pleasing her and making her feel good or bad. I can home in on things that are working and not do things which aren't. I gain confidence, which makes me that much more into what's happening.
Does that make sense?
RisiaSkye
Artistic
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Okay, so I finally opened this thread and was quite surprised to hear people agree that there's no such thing as Dom/me space. I think that there is.
In fact, I think that claiming that the mental space one gets into as a sub is the only emotionally fulfilling component of D/s relations is both limiting and mildly insulting. To suggest that emotional investment, even a Zen kind of transcendent consciousness, somehow limits or inhibits the ability to retain control expresses (in my opinion only, okay?) a very limited view of control and power.
Then again, I Switch, so someone will probably suggest that I just don't understand Domming properly. To anyone with this idea, let me say this: Heard it before, and I still don't buy it for a second, alright? Save it.
The fact that one must retain control and the ability to direct a scene does not mean that one must remain emotionally detached and/or spiritually disconnected from the moment. To me, a big part of learning to effectively Domme is learning to experience the power emotionally, to treasure and savor the gift of another's submission, and to use that to inform a scene and a relationship as they unfold.
I agree with Jim & Hecate that there's a kind of emotional and power feedback loop in which the sub's committment and emotional connection feeds into the Dom/mes, and vice versa. Jim also said that there's a feeling of being "in the Zone," which is something like having a spectacular performance as an actor, or a great game as an athlete--it's the time when everything comes together and you are at your best as a lover and as a Dom/me. However, I think that it goes still futher than that.
There is a gift offered, a gift which we who Dom/me partake of and should appreciate. That gift requires enormous trust on the part of the submissive, and if we accept it, we also accept an enormous responsibility. To me, it's the interplay of trust, responsibility, and power that forms the nexus of Dom/me Space. In the same way that a submissive's often trascendent loss of time comes from trust and the ability to truly let another direct things, a Dom/me's spiralling sense of power and responsiblity can come from that same place, just on the other side.
After all, if it weren't as emotionally fulfilling and both spiritually challenging and rewarding, as we know sub space to be, why would anyone choose to Dom/me? It's more than a power trip, wouldn't you agree?
In fact, I think that claiming that the mental space one gets into as a sub is the only emotionally fulfilling component of D/s relations is both limiting and mildly insulting. To suggest that emotional investment, even a Zen kind of transcendent consciousness, somehow limits or inhibits the ability to retain control expresses (in my opinion only, okay?) a very limited view of control and power.
Then again, I Switch, so someone will probably suggest that I just don't understand Domming properly. To anyone with this idea, let me say this:
Heard it before, and I still don't buy it for a second, alright? Save it.The fact that one must retain control and the ability to direct a scene does not mean that one must remain emotionally detached and/or spiritually disconnected from the moment. To me, a big part of learning to effectively Domme is learning to experience the power emotionally, to treasure and savor the gift of another's submission, and to use that to inform a scene and a relationship as they unfold.
I agree with Jim & Hecate that there's a kind of emotional and power feedback loop in which the sub's committment and emotional connection feeds into the Dom/mes, and vice versa. Jim also said that there's a feeling of being "in the Zone," which is something like having a spectacular performance as an actor, or a great game as an athlete--it's the time when everything comes together and you are at your best as a lover and as a Dom/me. However, I think that it goes still futher than that.
There is a gift offered, a gift which we who Dom/me partake of and should appreciate. That gift requires enormous trust on the part of the submissive, and if we accept it, we also accept an enormous responsibility. To me, it's the interplay of trust, responsibility, and power that forms the nexus of Dom/me Space. In the same way that a submissive's often trascendent loss of time comes from trust and the ability to truly let another direct things, a Dom/me's spiralling sense of power and responsiblity can come from that same place, just on the other side.
After all, if it weren't as emotionally fulfilling and both spiritually challenging and rewarding, as we know sub space to be, why would anyone choose to Dom/me? It's more than a power trip, wouldn't you agree?
Hecate
Lady Hecate will do
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The link to my story about Dom Space
Pushed too far
Attention: this is a story that was triggered by a discussion about Dom/me Space a while back and it is not a pleasant one (for me anyway). Though it is not one of my own experiences it is one of my nightmares.
I do not say there isn't such a mental state as "Dom Space", just I haven't been there yet.
If I say I have not experienced anything like Domme Space maybe I am not saying that right - but I picture Domme Space like some mental detachment from the reality, like in sub space the "here and now" feeling (or mere concentration on the sensations in this very moment), I imagine trembling subs, out of conscious control and while a sub even when imerging totally into this role can not do much damage (except for maybe holding back the safe word in the worst of cases for too long) I am simply scared what I might be able to do if I ever "went there" as a Domme.
I can get into a scene, totally, completely - and it is sure more than just the basic feel of power I get when I see someone is following my orders or allows me to be helpless and vulnerable in my care. There is of course emotional gratification in dominating and it is sure not exclusively for submissives. So maybe I do reach Domme Space and just never called it that *g* - just as JazzManJim said , maybe I am "there" just without knowing?
I personally defined "Dom Space" as the "equivalent" of this totally imersed sub space where you loose conscious control - where all your needs and desires are focused on your helplessness and possibly the sensations you are experiencing. In that comparison the concept of Dom Space simply scared me - as in my story - what if I get totally overwhelmed by that power I am given, what if I start to get so much "into it" that I will ignore a safe word just becasue at that particular moment I can? What if I am pushing limits that shouldn't be pushed just becasue I do no longer notice I am already standing at the edge and one step further will take into the abyss?
I guess I have to rethink my definition maybe and just define what was Dom Space for me before as "freaking out - loosing it completely" - and allow myself the knowledge that my imersion in that warm cocoon of trust, power and - in my case - love is exactly that wonderfull place called Dom Space!
Pushed too far
Attention: this is a story that was triggered by a discussion about Dom/me Space a while back and it is not a pleasant one (for me anyway). Though it is not one of my own experiences it is one of my nightmares.
I do not say there isn't such a mental state as "Dom Space", just I haven't been there yet.
If I say I have not experienced anything like Domme Space maybe I am not saying that right - but I picture Domme Space like some mental detachment from the reality, like in sub space the "here and now" feeling (or mere concentration on the sensations in this very moment), I imagine trembling subs, out of conscious control and while a sub even when imerging totally into this role can not do much damage (except for maybe holding back the safe word in the worst of cases for too long) I am simply scared what I might be able to do if I ever "went there" as a Domme.
I can get into a scene, totally, completely - and it is sure more than just the basic feel of power I get when I see someone is following my orders or allows me to be helpless and vulnerable in my care. There is of course emotional gratification in dominating and it is sure not exclusively for submissives. So maybe I do reach Domme Space and just never called it that *g* - just as JazzManJim said , maybe I am "there" just without knowing
?I personally defined "Dom Space" as the "equivalent" of this totally imersed sub space where you loose conscious control - where all your needs and desires are focused on your helplessness and possibly the sensations you are experiencing. In that comparison the concept of Dom Space simply scared me - as in my story - what if I get totally overwhelmed by that power I am given, what if I start to get so much "into it" that I will ignore a safe word just becasue at that particular moment I can? What if I am pushing limits that shouldn't be pushed just becasue I do no longer notice I am already standing at the edge and one step further will take into the abyss?
I guess I have to rethink my definition maybe and just define what was Dom Space for me before as "freaking out - loosing it completely" - and allow myself the knowledge that my imersion in that warm cocoon of trust, power and - in my case - love is exactly that wonderfull place called Dom Space!
cymbidia
unrepentant pervert
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~quietly reading, absorbing, listening, learning~
I think we're all fortunate to have the strong, centered, SSC voices we do in our small community. We all benefit from those who've been there/done that and thought so deeply about it afterwards just as we benefit from the new questions and issues raised by those who are just beginning or continuing to move along the road of their understanding of thier individual needs.
Hecate's is a voice of passion and reason, love and Dominance, strength and tender compassion that resonates through the whole community, and has since our earliest days.
I think we're all fortunate to have the strong, centered, SSC voices we do in our small community. We all benefit from those who've been there/done that and thought so deeply about it afterwards just as we benefit from the new questions and issues raised by those who are just beginning or continuing to move along the road of their understanding of thier individual needs.
Hecate's is a voice of passion and reason, love and Dominance, strength and tender compassion that resonates through the whole community, and has since our earliest days.
JazzManJim
On the Downbeat
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Re: The link to my story about Dom Space
You sound much like I do in that situation. It happens, and there's not much to determine before hand when it will happen. When it starts, you can't try to feed it. That kills it. It happens with less conscious effort rather than more and it's magical.
Like has been said before, it's like being on a streak as a baseball player, where the ball is large as a basketball and you can't help but hit it hard anywhere you want. It's a "zone" and I couldn't tell you how to get into or out of it. I just know it happens.
Hecate said:I can get into a scene, totally, completely - and it is sure more than just the basic feel of power I get when I see someone is following my orders or allows me to be helpless and vulnerable in my care. There is of course emotional gratification in dominating and it is sure not exclusively for submissives. So maybe I do reach Domme Space and just never called it that *g* - just as JazzManJim said , maybe I am "there" just without knowing
You sound much like I do in that situation. It happens, and there's not much to determine before hand when it will happen. When it starts, you can't try to feed it. That kills it. It happens with less conscious effort rather than more and it's magical.
Like has been said before, it's like being on a streak as a baseball player, where the ball is large as a basketball and you can't help but hit it hard anywhere you want. It's a "zone" and I couldn't tell you how to get into or out of it. I just know it happens.
cymbidia
unrepentant pervert
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This is *exactly* how it is moving into and out of subspace... for me, anyway.JazzManJim said:
There's no way i can get there by conscious effort.
There's no pattern of steps i can take to get there.
There's absolutely no logic to it.
Things can be done approximately the same in different sessions and one will result in my spending some time there and one won't.
It's a mixture of the moment, the emotions you share, the toys, the physical surroundings, etc, etc, etc, and it's just not quantifiable. It's barely describable; words fail to reveal the ephemeral majesty, fragile joy, and transcendent emotionalism of the thing. My words, anyway.
Yes, Jimmie, it's magical.
P. B. Walker
Literotica Guru
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*bump*
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JazzManJim said:Well, let me toss something at you, then.
Perhaps that feeling is what might be meant by "Dom Space"?
There's that feeling of being "in the zone" that you get sometimes, when you're with a sub - that feeling that you're completely on top of things in a way that goes beyond merely having control of the situation, that you're almost acting on what the sub does before the sub does it and every single movement is confident, without a moment's hesitation, and perfect for the moment. It's like being in a basketball game and not being able to miss, even when you're taking wild-assed shots you'd never make in your life until that game.
Maybe that's what we're talking about, as opposed to the comparative control loss of "sub space". Maybe it's about being so on top of the situation that you're aware of things you've never been aware of before. If that's what we could say "Dom Space" is, yeah..I was there once. I'll never forget it.
Yeahhhhhhhhhhh
Attachments
KestralWolfe
Really Experienced
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cymbidia said:
I could not have said it better myself, Cym, it is this way for me (not always) when I am "in the zone" Dommeing a scene. There is an elation, a spiritual uplift, a clearing of my head of all the cobwebs, but for me it does not lead to detatchment...I can't let it, lol. It's more of a sharpening of all the senses...sight smell, sound touch, and even taste are sharpened for me when I go into "Dommely-head-space". But, as has been posted by others, this is only my own experience, and is no way meant to say "this is what it is like in Dom/me space". I don't think anyone's experience is or can be the same. Similar, yes, but never the same.
serijules
just seri
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I did a bit of research in the way of talking to a few experienced Dominants I know awhile back when writing an essay on aftercare that included information on sub and domspace. Here is what I wrote on Domspace....
Ok, So What Is Domspace?
I am a switch, but I have never experienced domspace, so I am going to go by what I have gathered from others rather than from personal experience. Domspace seems to be less common than subspace, and many have said it requires a pretty intense bond with the person you are playing with.
Domspace has many similarities to subspace. The dominant may lose focus in his or her surroundings, and only have the ability to pay attention to the submissive and the scene in front of them. Once again, noise and activity around you becomes something easily ignored, and your body may physically be able to go on longer and harder than normal. I have seen and heard of dom's entering "domspace" when doing long and intense flogging scenes especially. Floggers become heavy and hard on the arms and shoulders after awhile. The endorphins of domspace can often push you to go further and longer, despite the physical limitations you normally might feel.
Another characteristic of domspace I've heard of is a feeling of really 'clicking' with the submissive, becoming more confident in your abilities to pleasure the sub and give them what they need. You use all of your senses to read the slightest signals he or she might give off. A good friend of mine worded his own experiences as such: "You try to merge your mind with hers, give her exactly what she wants before she even knows what it is." It can be such an incredibly intense and erotic bond that nothing and no one else exists, and the experiences shared in those moments are invaluable.
Some doms are acutely aware of their responsibility in a scene, and are not willing to lose that spatial awareness in fears of not being able to do their part in keeping the scene, and the sub, safe. It is vital that the scene starts out safely. The potential for harm can increase dramatically if both subspace and domspace are not kept in tight perspective.
Domspace may also come with feelings of heightened 'power'. Some doms may feel more sadistic when in this state of mind, and more able to inflict pain on their submissive and enjoy the results more that normally would not be as arousing or pleasant. For others, it can form an almost obsessive desire to please or push their submissive as far as possible, a desire to give him or her everything s/he wants and make the scene as positive and memorable as possible. Sometimes even for both sub and dom, initial fears and hesitations of a certain act or scene can fade and become more appealing and even exceptionally thrilling once they drift further and further into the experience.
Both subspace and domspace are usually very positive and powerful feelings for those involved, and incredibly intense to observe from a bystanders point of view. However, they do come with dangers, and do require a lot of attention to remain positive experiences long after the 'high' of the rush has faded. This is where aftercare comes in.
You can read the full essay on my site if you wish
The Art of Aftercare
Ok, So What Is Domspace?
I am a switch, but I have never experienced domspace, so I am going to go by what I have gathered from others rather than from personal experience. Domspace seems to be less common than subspace, and many have said it requires a pretty intense bond with the person you are playing with.
Domspace has many similarities to subspace. The dominant may lose focus in his or her surroundings, and only have the ability to pay attention to the submissive and the scene in front of them. Once again, noise and activity around you becomes something easily ignored, and your body may physically be able to go on longer and harder than normal. I have seen and heard of dom's entering "domspace" when doing long and intense flogging scenes especially. Floggers become heavy and hard on the arms and shoulders after awhile. The endorphins of domspace can often push you to go further and longer, despite the physical limitations you normally might feel.
Another characteristic of domspace I've heard of is a feeling of really 'clicking' with the submissive, becoming more confident in your abilities to pleasure the sub and give them what they need. You use all of your senses to read the slightest signals he or she might give off. A good friend of mine worded his own experiences as such: "You try to merge your mind with hers, give her exactly what she wants before she even knows what it is." It can be such an incredibly intense and erotic bond that nothing and no one else exists, and the experiences shared in those moments are invaluable.
Some doms are acutely aware of their responsibility in a scene, and are not willing to lose that spatial awareness in fears of not being able to do their part in keeping the scene, and the sub, safe. It is vital that the scene starts out safely. The potential for harm can increase dramatically if both subspace and domspace are not kept in tight perspective.
Domspace may also come with feelings of heightened 'power'. Some doms may feel more sadistic when in this state of mind, and more able to inflict pain on their submissive and enjoy the results more that normally would not be as arousing or pleasant. For others, it can form an almost obsessive desire to please or push their submissive as far as possible, a desire to give him or her everything s/he wants and make the scene as positive and memorable as possible. Sometimes even for both sub and dom, initial fears and hesitations of a certain act or scene can fade and become more appealing and even exceptionally thrilling once they drift further and further into the experience.
Both subspace and domspace are usually very positive and powerful feelings for those involved, and incredibly intense to observe from a bystanders point of view. However, they do come with dangers, and do require a lot of attention to remain positive experiences long after the 'high' of the rush has faded. This is where aftercare comes in.
You can read the full essay on my site if you wish
The Art of Aftercare
The resurfacing of this discussion brought it to my attention, and I was surprised that I was familiar with the space (as described above).
It's Flow. That's a psychological concept by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi describing optimum experiences.
See this brief site.
This is totally different from subspace, which I recognize as a meditative or hypnotic state (both have been proven to be synonymous along with deep prayer), hence the spiritual connection--uh, yeah!
Thoughts?
randy
It's Flow. That's a psychological concept by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi describing optimum experiences.
See this brief site.
This is totally different from subspace, which I recognize as a meditative or hypnotic state (both have been proven to be synonymous along with deep prayer), hence the spiritual connection--uh, yeah!
Thoughts?
randy
AngelicAssassin
Something Wicked
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i still agree with this take.cymbidia said:
When that light bulb goes on, it's like watching the Kremlin Square climax, pun intended, scene in The Saint. The lights are on and everybody's home. If one could harness that energy, the Middle East could ... nevermind. i'll not desecrate this thread with political nonsense.
Suffice to say, for those of us that have hit it, PYLSpace exists.
Squeezenplease
Literotica Guru
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I'm a dominate woman. but I can change roles sometimes. However, there is nothing like having a man or a woman at your mercy...just gets my juices flowing
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Bump
KAAAA-Bump
KAAAA-Bump
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the bump
I will admit to bumping this thread out of purely personal reasons ... Someone asked me a question about this, and I had to admit that I experienced nothing similar to what some of the Dom/me/top's were talking about.
I aroused my curiosity...which I will admit is somewhat in excess of my pet tomcat's.
I will admit to bumping this thread out of purely personal reasons ... Someone asked me a question about this, and I had to admit that I experienced nothing similar to what some of the Dom/me/top's were talking about.
I aroused my curiosity...which I will admit is somewhat in excess of my pet tomcat's.
@}-}rebecca----
not enough discipline ...
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I was just reading a post in the Cafe that seems to intimate that Dom/mes rarely requires aftercare. The proviso was in the part I read was that Dom/mes don't space therefore no aftercare is required.
I would say in my experience Dom/me space can be a reality for some . I would also say that aftercare whether Dom/me space takes place or not is a reality. I have always considered that caring for a submissive often forms a part of aftercare for the Dom/me in question as they are reassured that the status quo will avail. I have also seen (though pictorial only yet reliable personally known source) a Dominant literally 'down for the count' on the floor covered in blankets and crying after a scene taking place with his partner who is a hard edge masochist.
Anyway ......long story short I checked the Library here and then a Thread search turning up this one.
I would be very interested in hearing more accounts of Domspace and aftercare please.
I would say in my experience Dom/me space can be a reality for some . I would also say that aftercare whether Dom/me space takes place or not is a reality. I have always considered that caring for a submissive often forms a part of aftercare for the Dom/me in question as they are reassured that the status quo will avail. I have also seen (though pictorial only yet reliable personally known source) a Dominant literally 'down for the count' on the floor covered in blankets and crying after a scene taking place with his partner who is a hard edge masochist.
Anyway ......long story short I checked the Library here and then a Thread search turning up this one.
I would be very interested in hearing more accounts of Domspace and aftercare please.
Netzach
>semiotics?
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- Mar 3, 2003
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I *do* space. Not just in intense personal play.
I space when I work, even. It's what makes me so damn good, it's SO EASY for me to space. Light the candles, fire up the music, look in the mirror at myself in a corset and I'm *there*
Being a prodomme has got to be as exciting as being a paramedic, with far less ramifications - but when people talk about high-risk and high-pressure work, it's that kind of war-story that resonates with me.
You're responsible for safety, (your own as well as the client) a million little physical details AND creating the perfect ambiance for an hour. Probably a lot like big-food restauranteuring too.
Dom space to me, is the Zone. It's when I feel most alive, most optimal, most engaged across every possible spectrum of engagement.
It takes everything out of me. I come home from a session and I am fucking TOAST. I'm stupider than I ever was bottoming.
I'm hungry but I can't even pick a restaurant, every bit of my decision making prowess has been used up and has to regenerate. I definitely need aftercare, and that's the perk of having a sub husband who gets my job.
I space when I work, even. It's what makes me so damn good, it's SO EASY for me to space. Light the candles, fire up the music, look in the mirror at myself in a corset and I'm *there*
Being a prodomme has got to be as exciting as being a paramedic, with far less ramifications - but when people talk about high-risk and high-pressure work, it's that kind of war-story that resonates with me.
You're responsible for safety, (your own as well as the client) a million little physical details AND creating the perfect ambiance for an hour. Probably a lot like big-food restauranteuring too.
Dom space to me, is the Zone. It's when I feel most alive, most optimal, most engaged across every possible spectrum of engagement.
It takes everything out of me. I come home from a session and I am fucking TOAST. I'm stupider than I ever was bottoming.
I'm hungry but I can't even pick a restaurant, every bit of my decision making prowess has been used up and has to regenerate. I definitely need aftercare, and that's the perk of having a sub husband who gets my job.
