Am I Domme?

Long winded, so please be patient:

I have occasionally come to the Literotica site over the past year & a half, primarily to read the wonderful short stories, usually sticking to the very vanilla stuff. A couple of times I have read the Forums, though never this Discussion Board. So glad this board is here, for do I need some advise/guidance.

Anyway, I thought I was a very vanilla variety SWF, until recently through a generic personal ad I have at a "normal" site, a sub approached me about being his Domme. I was extremely surprised, though at the same time I am very intrigued.

Would it help to know that I make my living as a fine artist & it is the erotica that always pays the bills, even though I do that very, very quietly under a non de plume.

I tend to naturally be rather bossy & controlling, or so at least the last boyfriend proclaims, probably with some truth. <grin> I like being an artist for I can work upon my own, for I simply do not tolerate interaction with the "idiotic masses" very well. I have tried reading a much as possible over the past couple of days about the Domme/sub lifestyle, though it seems incredibly broad & so much kinkier than I think I wish to go (or am now at least ready for). Though, still I am finding the thought of D/s more & more interesting! Maybe it is my personality after all?

The sub that has approached me I am having difficulty determining exactly what he wants/need out of a/the relationship. I am sure I simply just do not know the right things to ask. What do I ask? How? From the picture alone of this sub, I do not at all find him visually appealing; though my last boyfriend was far from good looking. Yes, men do find me quite attractive, though I myself do not consider myself drop dead gorgeous. Okay, okay it probably helped that the last boyfriend was very rich & quite generous. Though sincerely I over looked his looks for his mind. We could talk upon a vast variety of subjects & historical topics at length, including his line of business in which it is incredibly rare for a female to be FULLY conversant in. I took GREAT pride in being able to tell him & his men when things were wrong, & never once was I wrong. I detest being intellectually bored. My last IQ test I scored 158-not that it matters to any of you. <evil grin> Please, what things should I inquire of to this sub? I mean I am really clueless as to how to proceed. Hey, I just might like being a Domme, though simply not to this sub. I just do not know. HELP!

Sexually, I tend to go for very long lengths without dating/sex period, for I can be very difficult to please in bed & it simply is not worth the experience if another crummy lay. Once I finally do decide to sleep with a man, if he doesn't cut it in bed, well quite frankly he is instant history for I won't waste my time. Oh sure, some/things are teachable, though some just don't want to learn new tricks, even of the vanilla kind! <grrr> To make matters worse, I am usually disappointed for I want sex at least twice a day. I don't know, I honestly think it is a control thing. Rare is the man that can give it to me at least twice a day, seven days a week, & especially give it to me well. Then dare I say this? I once had a boyfriend with a wonderful 9" cock that had very nice girth to it too. That rather spoiled me in how deep he went, how much he filled me up, & could he last! *lustful memories* The average fellow simply fails to compare to that.

Okay, so I was probably digressing & wandering, though it told you more about my personality.

I have never partook as a Domme, so what do I need to know, where do I start/learn? What of my sub? How do I determine what he truly wants/needs so I know if I really would make a good Domme for him? He is so hard to get answers out of. Everything is, "Yes Mistress if that would please you." I feel like I am holding a one way conversation. Is that how it is supposed to be?

Hell yes, I want someone to clean the house spotless, wash my hair, give me facials, & I only pray to find someone good in bed with a big dick! Maybe I just need a generous straight male with a big dick & household staff to do the cleaning? I think I may be a little afraid of what a bitch my Domme side could be. She just would not fit into the realm of social politeness now would she! <grin>

Lastly, I know a couple of you on the board do not approve of this, though thus far he has offered $750. a week (I do not yet know how many times seeing him this would entail) & no sex if that is my desire.

Thanks for your patience in reading & answers!

Interesting situation, sorry Unregistered, but I lost your questions in your description.

What exactly did he ask of you?
How was your ad worded?
What are your expectations of this lifestyle and/or him?

How did a personal ad turn into a job solicitation? Sounds strange to me, not knowing the rest of the above answers, that someone, out of the blue, would offer you $705/week to be his domme....

First off, thank you for replying.

Sorry, somewhere in my attempt to register a user name I in my "great brilliance" (TIC) made a mistake for I have checked for what ever I was supposed to get to activate my board name & there is nothing in my mail

That is the problem, he hasn't exactly asked anything of me. I have been trying to ask him what it is he needs/wants & about all he says is to treat me like the Goddess I am & to worship me, yadda, yadda. So what does he get out of it then? That I am still trying to figure out. If it is purely his enjoyment in serving my every need, well then I think I would have died & gone to heaven. In MOPO it is everyone woman's dream to find a man that desires to cater to her every whim & need, though I know many on here feel the need to serve their man instead. Too each their own. <grin> No, I have never gotten up to get any boyfriend I have had a drink. Are you crazy, he is damn lucky I am even there to begin with & he best keep me entertained or I am going home (alone).

As for the wording of my ad, well, it does give my income level (not a vast sum by any means) & it does state that I live upon the property of my art benefactors. Perhaps my using the word benefactor he thought I may be open minded???

My benefactors are that in the TRUEST sense of the word. I have a very decent roof over my head where I am left alone to paint, paint, paint. It does not cost me a dime to be here. Nothing is asked of me personally & especially not sexually. In fact I rarely see them, though I do talk to her on the phone almost daily. Yes, for me personally, it is quite darn near heaven.

My expectations of this (D/s) lifestyle, of him? Quite honestly I do not know. **I have no idea if I have entirely the wrong ideas of what it is all about. I don't know if it is really something for me or not. Though I am finding myself very curious. ** What I expect of him is really the frustrating part for I have no true idea of HIS NEEDS. His best answer I could get is that he would do anything but kill for me. Holey moley, if that is not a wide open field!

Frankly, I truly need someone to keep this place spotless, & I even mean cleaning the grout in the tile floor with a toothbrush. This entire place is in tile too. If he would be HAPPY doing this, well, we have a start. I need my dog bathed & groomed, same with my horses. Granted, cleaning is something I could simply pay for, though frankly it drives me nuts if it is not done exactly my way, & hired help always thinks I am too difficult to work for. I simply just want it done my way. *sigh* I have yet to figure out if he would want physically punished if he doesn't do it right, or simply verbally berated. Sheepishly I have to say I don't at all think I would mind paddling someone if they were "bad." Geez, a side of me I am having to come to grips with. <grin>

I have no idea on earth how my personal turned into a "job solicitation!"

I don't know if I am a Domme, or simply just an overbearing bitch. How do I safely for all concerned find out?

BTW, I just loved the collars with the bells on them on another thread. Gee, I wonder how quietly he could clean or hand me my paints, for when I am painting I cannot stand for my concentration to be broken. <evil grin>

Interesting!
I'd like to see where this disscusion go's.
I hope someone can help you with this problem...
Goodluck.

P.S.
Can we call you something till you get a Nickname?

MistressHoney said:

It was only when I figured out what *I* wanted, liked, needed from a relationship that I became a true Domme.

Click to expand...

True, so very true! It's so important to know what you really need and not to do what other people think you need/want/like. That doesn't mean that you have to close your mind to new ideas, but if there isn't a true foundation all the cool different and new things will not work out properly.

Monika