Starting a munch group

Spectre T and Miss T are considering starting a munch group. ( I enjoy the play on words, errr letters with our nicks! )

First, we have and continue to explore the area for possible munches etc. We wouldn't want to impose on other groups and would likely not mind attending.

Any ideas, advice, suggestions or comments would be appreciated.

I have a long to do list before getting it underway, but would love some feedback.

MissTaken said:

Spectre T and Miss T are considering starting a munch group. ( I enjoy the play on words, errr letters with our nicks! )

First, we have and continue to explore the area for possible munches etc. We wouldn't want to impose on other groups and would likely not mind attending.

Any ideas, advice, suggestions or comments would be appreciated.

I have a long to do list before getting it underway, but would love some feedback.

Click to expand...

What we did here was start a BDSM discusion list specfic to our area..........

Than we posted that on our state discssion list

Than we let things build from there

Richard

MissTaken said:

Spectre T and Miss T are considering starting a munch group. ( I enjoy the play on words, errr letters with our nicks! )

First, we have and continue to explore the area for possible munches etc. We wouldn't want to impose on other groups and would likely not mind attending.

Any ideas, advice, suggestions or comments would be appreciated.

I have a long to do list before getting it underway, but would love some feedback.

Click to expand...

First of all, while you want to be polite about not counterscheduling, I wouldnt worry too much about stepping on other groups toes. In fact, most people who attend one munch in the area will probably be happy to discover a second one.
Richard's advice is good. Start a Yahoo group or MSN community for people in your area and use that to get the word out about your munch.
Above all, dont be discouraged if you get a low turnout to start. It will take some time. Good luck!

Yes.

I was thinking we should start a yahoo community. At least then, I might get some indication of the level of interest...in time.


Thanks for the suggestions, Richard and Jaymes.

MissTaken said:

Yes.

I was thinking we should start a yahoo community. At least then, I might get some indication of the level of interest...in time.


Thanks for the suggestions, Richard and Jaymes.

Click to expand...

Better make sure I get an invite.........

Remember what I said about the trip......

Also better keep me informed about that other thing you have
been working on...........


Maybe you will have to make a run down this way and we can
go to one of the Munches here.....

Thank you, cop!


And as a good sub, I will follow through with respect to all these requests


Unless of course, you promise to cuff me for not reporting back?

MissTaken said:

Yes.

I was thinking we should start a yahoo community. At least then, I might get some indication of the level of interest...in time.


Thanks for the suggestions, Richard and Jaymes.

Click to expand...

My pleasure. I hope you will keep us posted on your progress

MissTaken said:

Yes.

I was thinking we should start a yahoo community. At least then, I might get some indication of the level of interest...in time.


Thanks for the suggestions, Richard and Jaymes.

Click to expand...

You are welcome.

Richard

MissTaken said:

Thank you, cop!


And as a good sub, I will follow through with respect to all these requests


Unless of course, you promise to cuff me for not reporting back?

Click to expand...

Well you know if you get cuffed that you will also get a DS....
and how I know that you are looking forward to that....

Hmmm

so does that make you the good cop or bad cop?




I will have my DS and with whipped cream and a cherry, please.


Back on topic: I joined two yahoo chat groups last night to explore what was available for social activities and to see how the groups were run.

Thanks, cop for the links.

Sorry for being so VERY Vanilla but,

What is a munch group? Or for that matter a munch?

I have seen the term used her frequently, but have been unable to satisfy myself as to what it is exactly.

Thanks

Ray

What's a munch

Ray Dario said:

Sorry for being so VERY Vanilla but,
What is a munch group? Or for that matter a munch?
I have seen the term used her frequently, but have been unable to satisfy myself as to what it is exactly.
Thanks
Ray

Click to expand...

It is when a group of people who are into BDSM D/s get together for a social time with no play/scening.

Richard

T... MissT?

Here's a link that might help you in your Starting-A-Local-Munch endeavor: http://www.sexuality.org/l/bdsm/socorg.html



Ray?
You could substitute the word "lunch" or "dinner" for "munch", substitute Rotarians or your local Chamber of Commerce for BDSM'ers and you'd have a good feel for what a munch is.

Basically they exist as very low pressure avenues for people interested in BDSM, at any level, to meet like-minded people with whom they might become friends.

Munches are most emphatically not ever dating kinda places where people cruise in looking for someone with whom they can cruise out. Additionally, those who attend them never do so "in role" (all decked out in fetish gear). They're totally vanilla from the outside, these munches.

I was at one of my three monthly munches just yesterday, Sunday, as a matter of fact. We have two lunch munches (~s~) and a dinner munch in these parts each month.

You have them in your area, too. (Well, okay, except for MissT and T... and maybe Richard.) Do a google search using "bdsm munch [your city]" and see what comes up.

We're everywhere, we perverts.

Hi Cym,

thanks!


I am starting to think I am the only token sub within a 100 mile radius!



Sadly, I wish I were joking.

So, my town wouldn't be a great site for a munch, but we may look downstate a bit for a restaurant for our "internet group".

The only sub?
Wow!


In my local group, the subs outnumber the Dominants by quite a bit. Yesterday two of the msubs told me they were going to start switching, though, cuz it's so hard to find Dommes in our area. One of them has some experience switching but prefers subbing and the other one is just that frustrated.

You'd think there would be more in my area, so close to San Francisco, but maybe that's part of the problem. The whole Bay area in general, and my county in particular, is a real mecca and home for gays and lesbians. We have a higher per capita population of both in my county than almost anywhere else in the world.

So there are *are* male and female Dominants around here, they're just lesbian or gay Dominants.


I feel your frustration.

cymbidia said:

T...
You have them in your area, too. (Well, okay, except for MissT and T... and maybe Richard.) Do a google search using "bdsm munch [your city]" and see what comes up.

We're everywhere, we perverts.

Click to expand...

yes we perverts are everywhere <smile>

The local munch here died from internal politics.......

Richard

MissTaken said:

I am starting to think I am the only token sub within a 100 mile radius!



Sadly, I wish I were joking.

So, my town wouldn't be a great site for a munch, but we may look downstate a bit for a restaurant for our "internet group".

Click to expand...

Of course, to her, "Downstate" is about 50 miles north of where I live.... (just razzin' ya, Miss T.)

And I can vouch for the statement that she's likely the only sub in a 100 mile radius. (given where she lives, its lack of population density, that sort of thing)

Hey, Miss T, keep me posted on what you're up to in regads to putting this thing together, please? I'd hate to unintentionally duplicate any work......

Moving

cymbidia said:

The only sub?
Wow!


In my local group, the subs outnumber the Dominants by quite a bit. Yesterday two of the msubs told me they were going to start switching, though, cuz it's so hard to find Dommes in our area. One of them has some experience switching but prefers subbing and the other one is just that frustrated.

You'd think there would be more in my area, so close to San Francisco, but maybe that's part of the problem. The whole Bay area in general, and my county in particular, is a real mecca and home for gays and lesbians. We have a higher per capita population of both in my county than almost anywhere else in the world.

So there are *are* male and female Dominants around here, they're just lesbian or gay Dominants.


I feel your frustration.

Click to expand...

Maybe I should move....

Richard

cymbidia said:

T... MissT?

Here's a link that might help you in your Starting-A-Local-Munch endeavor: http://www.sexuality.org/l/bdsm/socorg.html

You have them in your area, too. (Well, okay, except for MissT and T... and maybe Richard.) Do a google search using "bdsm munch [your city]" and see what comes up.

We're everywhere, we perverts.

Click to expand...

There's apparently a group in Syracuse, but they're way underground, and apparently with cause. Police like raiding, though I have no idea what kind of charges they can bring.

So they're "by invitation only", and even being known to them doesn't seem to improve your odds much of being invited.

Me, I couldn't even find a hint of them, so that gives you an idea how insular they are here.

My info comes from Merelan, who's apparently far better connected in certain circles than I am.

SpectreT said:

There's apparently a group in Syracuse, but they're way underground, and apparently with cause. Police like raiding, though I have no idea what kind of charges they can bring.

Click to expand...

We were just talking about this at my munch yesterday, T.

A group of SF Bay area BDSM'ers are putting together a Janus panel presentation on Police-Community Relations. (One of the BDSM'ers on that panel will be a prominent member of a local police force, others are attorneys and the like. One of the panel organizers is also the organizer of my local munch and was telling us about it.)

If your neighbors call about hearing screams, for example, or too loud music, or if the police are just cruising by and see a lot of people in the house, oor for no apparent reason at all, they can come knocking on your door.

When you answer, they can say there's been a disturbance call (or whatever) and ask to come in.

You have the right to say "no".

They then have the right to insist on coming in, saying they fear for the well-being of someone inside the house (if in the case of a disturbance call, for example, placed by a neighbor).

If there's a lifestyle party going on insdie, and if, for example, someone is bound down, or showing some reddedned skin or welts from flogging, then the police have the right to haul EVERYONE into jail to sort out the question of abuse.

It'll all be dismissed the next day, of course.

In the meantime, however, you're in jail, you name may or may not be given to your local press, and your party is dead in the water.

All for attending or hosting a private BDSM party.

Laws and social mores may vary in your area, of course.
And your ass i dead if you've charged for your party or if there's drugs found on anyone there. It's a really really bad idea to even have alcohol at play parties and most don't allow it at all.



And that's an inkling of the kind of charges "they" can bring, T, at least here in CA.

More of my ignorance shed...

Along with a little more of my (admittedly) naive faith in the system, and the people who make it work.

I suppose I should be glad they're that thorough; and I wholeheartedly agree about mind-effecting chemicals (legal or otherwise) in a "play" situation; BAD idea.

It's just annoying that it makes it that much tougher to find the support and camaraderie one needs in integrating these needs and desires into the whole of who and what you are.

As I said, it is with cause.

Which makes it even more frustrating.

Twenty years ago, as i think both James and Richard can attest to (anyone else besides the three of us been in this for a very long time? come out... come out... wherever you are...), many of us at that party would not have been released from jail the next day, T. Some of us would probably have been held for a public jury trial on some kinda morals charges. A few of us would have been looking at some jail time. Y'all new to this now have it pretty easy with respect to being afraid the law will burst your bubble.

Times are changing. They are beginning to see some of what we do as something edging closer to acceptable.

The rate of change seems glacial sometimes, but it is changing for us. Generally. Overall.

No one should be hauled off to jail for the expression of their sexuality, but no one should be allowed to abuse someone, either. Right? We still have to protect those who cannot, for some reason, protect themselves.

They don't know us well enough to know where the line is between what we do consensually with each other in the expression of our deepest sexual needs and abuse. It looks like abuse, doesn't it? I mean, all tied down, welts, maybe some blood, crying sometimes, struggling, screaming and screaming... that looks like abuse to them.

When they finally come to understand the line between abuse and consensual BDSM play then the party-crashing will stop. The hauling-to-jail stuff will stop. The what-feels-like-harrassment will stop.

It's already so much better than it was 20 years ago... and the trend is continuing.

The abuse thing is why I said I suppose I should be glad they're being that thorough.

And God alone knows what laws they've got sitting on the books around here, and what a judge will make of them.

The good news is unless someone is seriously hurt, the local press doesn't bother much with a bunch of kinky people getting hauled in for questioning from a loud party. The bad news is when it does happen, the "shocking events" will be the top news story for months, and there'll be like an annual special about it or something...

Syracuse is a slow news town.

And oddly enough, by profession, law enforcement is the occupation of the majority of the Doms I have spoke to on line.


Hey T....ya gotta a pm!

He who does not learn from history

cymbidia said:

Twenty years ago, as i think both James and Richard can attest to (anyone else besides the three of us been in this for a very long time? come out... come out... wherever you are...), many of us at that party would not have been released from jail the next day, T. Some of us would probably have been held for a public jury trial on some kinda morals charges. A few of us would have been looking at some jail time. Y'all new to this now have it pretty easy with respect to being afraid the law will burst your bubble.


It's already so much better than it was 20 years ago... and the trend is continuing.

Click to expand...

Cyn....your giving away our age...ssshhhhhh

I started this lifestyle when I was 2 <grin>

We live a lifestyle that is dangerious. Not in the sence that we normally think of danger........

First let me say that a munch is not a play party etc. It is a time to socialize and discuss.......think of it as a cocktail party

It is dangerious because of what we leave ourselves open to from the powers that be.

Cy did a good job about the dangers of a "group event" or even what can happen when it is just a consenting couple...who's neighbors turn in.

For us Doms there is another danger also...a subbie who has consented..can turn in for abuse...assult...and God knows what else...

Richard