Somewhat new to BDSM

Hi...21 yr old F in Central Texas area. I have experienced very light bondage and have been spanked as well as paddled before. I am a very submissive woman. I have not, however, really been a slave before. I have not met that many people here that is actually into BDSM. I am a very willing sub, but I am in need of teaching for being a slave. I'm not too keen on the servitude as a life partner, but more or less in the bedroom. I kind of want a normal relationship outside the bedroom or when not involving anything sexual. I enjoy public display very very much! Just curious as to how I can learn to be a wonderful sub for a great master one day!! *S*

I guess what I'm trying to ask is how do I become the perfect sub. And how do I go about finding that perfect master?

Oh darlin', welcome to this forum and i'm afraid i have some very bad news for you.

There is no "perfect" submissive.
There is no "perfect" Dominant.

It's all a matter of individual interpretation.

I am certain that Hecate and WriterDom, two Dominants that are well-known to us here in this forum, would have a list of qualities that would both match and vary widely with respect to what makes a "perfect" submissive.

I think i'm a pretty damn good submissive but there are a few Dominants alive today who might strenuously disagree with that characterization. (Shhh, R. It's okay, my friend. You're right; those Dominants are wrong, aren't they?)

The very best any of us subbies p James) can ever ever hope to be is perfect for **our** partner, our own Dominant. To be that, darlin', one must have a Dominant to be perfect for, right?

Until the day you have a Dominant and s/he has you, all you can really do is read about all this. Think about it. Learn what draws you and what repells you. Fantasize and decide what's a the top of your list of Fun Things To Do While Subbing.

Here are my suggestions:

1. Do a bunch of reading. It's all good and fine that you've done some playing with this. Now do the homework part and begin to learn WHAT this lifestyle is all about. I, or many of us here, can give you some good (= not flaky/confusing/unrealistic/too advanced) links to help you in this area.

2. Begin to go out and make friends with some people in your area who do this. They will help you, guide you, take care of you. Go to your local munch group and tell them that you're new and you want to learn and need some help. They *will* help you.

3. Stop thinking that you need to be perfect.
Stop thinking that your Dominant needs to be perfect.
Start thinking that you want to learn more about yourself and your needs with respect to BDSM sexuality. In that direction lies satisfaction, darlin', a thing that's often much better than the so-elusive perfection.

Then come back here and ask questions.
Just KEEP asking us questions.

No one can learn about this inside their own brain, all alone. BDSM is, always has been, always will be, a group activity. Okay, okay, okay - often it's a pairs activity; you're right. (See? I'm not perfect either!)

BDSM'ers have always helped each other to learn about this.
Stick around.
Use us.
Use us hard.
Oh baby, yeh... just like that... keep going... oh gods...

Um.
Sorry.

Any other questions for now?

Originally posted by cymbidia Use us.
Use us hard.
Oh baby, yeh... just like that... keep going... oh gods...

Um.
Sorry.
[/B]

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ROTFL hehehe, gotta love this place! I am not the only one in the gutter. to you cym!

Rogue

Thank you for the advice Cym!! *S* ummm......as for the site addresses, do you have any good ones to start me off with?

I have advice, dig up Wiuzard's thread here that has the word links in the title. That is a good place to start..

Then read, read and read. And then read more. Read and think, and then read.

Alsol, ask questions of those here. Then write. Write what you like, don't like, feel, don't feel.

Then read more.

Life is a journey, and it there is no teleporter to the exit. Does that make sense? I ened my coffee....


Did I mention read?

Here is the link to the thread... he evevn categorized most of them...

http://www.literotica.com/forum/showthread.php?threadid=69529

Thank you greatly for the address to the site *S* Duely appreciated!

good sites for BDSM newbies

Newbies Knock Here
http://latches.webslaves.com/faq/


The Beginner's Guide to Bondage and Domination
http://www.wizdomme.com/infopack/begguide.shtml


The BDSM Resource Center
http://www.thebrc.net/home.htm
(You have to navigate inside this site.
Do this: Articles --> By Topic --> BDSM 101 --> The Basics)


The BDSM Newbies Pack or "Or "I think I'm a pervert. What now?"
http://charas.hypermart.net/newbies.htm


And finally, what has become a standard intro site, James Bryant's "The Beginners Guide to Dominance and Submission"
http://www.cyberhell.net/DSGUIDE/index.asp


http://www.literotica.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=73517

Great Post Cym

.

Ohhh cym....hehehe

"Use us.
Use us hard.
Oh baby, yeh... just like that... keep going... oh gods...

Um.
Sorry.
"

cym you crack me up sometimes. But seriously, you gave some great advice. <still chuckling>

Read,
learn,
ask questions. That is key

Ebony<Mistress and lover to tavish>

I would suggest you find somene willing to switch back and forth from do to sub. soeone you can trust and experimentt with whatever comes to mind.. I persnally prefer domination but a good fucfbudy asked to tie me up.I played the role and was aazed as I watched her get more and ore in to it that I started getting hot. She llived with two other girls sharing a big house.while I was tied to the bed shebrought them in and it was a new ezperience for all.

You had to pull up a post from ten years ago to post your bedtime fun experiences, really?

But there might be some good info in the links, so thank you for that.

Maybe they tried to reply 10 years ago, but because they were on dial up internet on a 28.8 modem it took this long for the reply to actually go through and post.

Or not.

Nothing is perfect!

Try and see. There is no other way I see for you.

Holy crap I didnt even realize you could pull a post from ten years ago back. Sheesh how long are threads kept?

Miles Long said:

Maybe they tried to reply 10 years ago, but because they were on dial up internet on a 28.8 modem it took this long for the reply to actually go through and post.

Or not.

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OMG... that was funny.... dial up..*cleans up coffee from the keyboard*