Don't think I'm crazy

Ok, now most of ya'll RL BDSM lifers may think I am crazy in this but please, I really some help understanding something.
My husband is a very sesual and dominant man, and I love him dearly <yes I am the submissive here>, when it comes to other women however I am dominant. <confused yet?> Now I have been looking to find the right sub for myself, but I feel as if I am not doing something right. I've never before had to look as when I was younger I was the female of my "friends". One of my problems is that I seem to run into guys "posing" as girls and asking me how come I submit to my husband and no one else. I find this difficult to explain. And second, I have the darnedest time figuring out when other women are bisexual or just into women. Can anyone help me out?

Hello and welcome to this forum, dancinvixen. Just so you know, we really don't go all snooty on anyone because some of us might be RL BDSM lifers (whatever you mean by that!) and some of us aren't. Experienced or novice, all have a welcome voice here.

In terms of your question, though, i'm not sure i understand what you're asking. Is this correct?

1. You're sub to your husband.
2. You're Domme to other women.
3. You're having trouble finding the right sub.
4. You're wondering why because you've never had trouble before.
5. You keep running into men posing as women and challenging you on your need to Dominate another woman.
6. You're having trouble determining if the women you do meet are bisexual or not.

Is that right?

Well, if it is...

1. Not a problem.

2. This isn't confusing to any of us here. We've got lots of switches, in all flavors and colors and sizes round these parts. Switching is a thing of situation (you just want to do it at that time) or gender (you only Top your own gender, for example, and sub to the other). Switching is a totally okay thing to be, no matter how it plays out in your life. Go read this for the thoughts of people a lot like you: http://www.literotica.com/forum/showthread.php?threadid=69523

3. Welcome to the club. Everyone is having difficulties finding the right Dominant or the right submissive, except those who are in settled relationships already.

4. Bad streak, darlin'. If you've never had trouble before and you're having trouble now, then your requirements have changed or your headspace has changed or whatever. There's got to be something different about you from the last time you looked. It's not that the world has changed. I'm seeing this in my own life at the moment, too, and i *know* it;s due to stuff i've been through in my personal relationships over the last half year.

5. Okay. In everyday life situation, there's no way men can pose as women and fool you for too long, and no way it'd happen often, and no way it'd happen with a bunch of men. You're doing this online aren't you?

I really don't know what to say to you about this concern. Someone else has to take this part of your question. I don't play online at all so my skills in this area are atrophied. Sorry.

6. Why do you need to know if they're bisexual or "just into women"? What's the difference? If they're into *you*, isn't that all you need to know?

I hope this helped in some small way.

great answer cym!

cymbidia said:

Hello and welcome to this forum, dancinvixen. Just so you know, we really don't go all snooty on anyone because some of us might be RL BDSM lifers (whatever you mean by that!) and some of us aren't. Experienced or novice, all have a welcome voice here.

In terms of your question, though, i'm not sure i understand what you're asking. Is this correct?

1. You're sub to your husband.
2. You're Domme to other women.
3. You're having trouble finding the right sub.
4. You're wondering why because you've never had trouble before.
5. You keep running into men posing as women and challenging you on your need to Dominate another woman.
6. You're having trouble determining if the women you do meet are bisexual or not.

Is that right?

Well, if it is...

1. Not a problem.

2. This isn't confusing to any of us here. We've got lots of switches, in all flavors and colors and sizes round these parts. Switching is a thing of situation (you just want to do it at that time) or gender (you only Top your own gender, for example, and sub to the other). Switching is a totally okay thing to be, no matter how it plays out in your life. Go read this for the thoughts of people a lot like you: http://www.literotica.com/forum/showthread.php?threadid=69523

3. Welcome to the club. Everyone is having difficulties finding the right Dominant or the right submissive, except those who are in settled relationships already.

4. Bad streak, darlin'. If you've never had trouble before and you're having trouble now, then your requirements have changed or your headspace has changed or whatever. There's got to be something different about you from the last time you looked. It's not that the world has changed. I'm seeing this in my own life at the moment, too, and i *know* it;s due to stuff i've been through in my personal relationships over the last half year.

5. Okay. In everyday life situation, there's no way men can pose as women and fool you for too long, and no way it'd happen often, and no way it'd happen with a bunch of men. You're doing this online aren't you?

I really don't know what to say to you about this concern. Someone else has to take this part of your question. I don't play online at all so my skills in this area are atrophied. Sorry.

6. Why do you need to know if they're bisexual or "just into women"? What's the difference? If they're into *you*, isn't that all you need to know?

I hope this helped in some small way.

Click to expand...

Another great answer.

After all, if you are bi why would it matter if they are bi or lesbian? Look past the label to the individual. See if she is compatible with you, see if your kinks match! Good luck to you!

Ebony

see, I have this problem with women. I don't care if they are bi or lesbian, but I want to be able to pick up the signals without misinterpreting them. Which I seem to be doing a lot of. I've been slapped so many times because I cannot seem to figure out the signals sent my way.

As for the men posing as women, there are quite a few in RL who can be very convincing. It's only happened a couple of times, but I seem to be getting better at steering clear of them.

As for submitting to the opposite sex, I have only ever been able to submit to my husband. He has taken great care never to use this gift the wrong way <which I love him for> but when we have met other dominants, they seem upset by the fact that I can not fully submit to another man. Am I strange in this way?

dancinvixen said:

... I have the darnedest time figuring out when other women are bisexual or just into women. Can anyone help me out?

Click to expand...

This is the only part I think I know the answer to. LOL If I want to know, I just ask. People have asked me, too, and I don't find it offensive at all.

Re: Re: Don't think I'm crazy

willfulbrat said:

This is the only part I think I know the answer to. LOL If I want to know, I just ask. People have asked me, too, and I don't find it offensive at all.

Click to expand...

Will, been there done that, got the red cheeks to prove it. Heck, when women find out I'm bi, it's like they freak out. At first they start asking all sorts of questions, but then when they seem to start giving off signals, I misinterpret them. I'm kinda tired of getting slapped, or yelled at because of this. I'm seriously thinking of heading to Denver to find a bar where I won't get the signals mixed up.

Dancinvixen,

Maybe people are not as open over there. I am so sorry that people have responded to you in such an ugly way! The scene here must be more friendly. About 70% of the women I know in the lifestyle are bi.

Good luck in your search for a submissive of your own.