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Signs of BDSM tendancies in early-life masturbation

monster666

monster666

COOKIE!!
Joined
Jan 21, 2002
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When I was an early teen, I discovered masturbation like almost every other boy my age. It was pretty cool, but what really got me worked up was being alone in the house long enough to rig cords over the shower curtains, around feet and hands and genitals in a manner that meant causing some hurt to untie things. I imagined a horde of "mean" women doing this to me for whatever reason - and I loved every one of them. Over the years all kinds of things the rest of the world would definitely not endorse as acceptable behavior - from small vice-grips to very hot topicals - were employed during self-play.

I haven't thought about this until lately; but in the process I've realized that my interest in things BDSM is not something I learned somewhere along the way in my adult life - it's something that grew out of my childhood. It's been part of me as long as I can remember anything of my sexuality - long before I knew anything of BDSM.

What gives with this? I wonder - how many others went through similar experiences as they grew up? And who else doesn't always play nice during masturbation?
 
monster

Your post just jarred some old memories. I had completely forgotten some details from about 20 years ago when I was in my mid to late teens. I remember tying myself up during masturbation. The memories are vague but I do remember doing that on more than one occasion. I didn't know anything about BDSM. I'm not even sure where I got the idea at the time.
 
Same sorts of things here, monster.

Except I was usually wearing my mom's pantyhose and a pair of her heels, too (this was back before I even finished growing). Didn't really know why, I just liked 'em...
 
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WOW Monster666! I had not thought of this stuff in years! I remember as early as 11 years old having "torture" or "kidnapping" fantasies when I "touched myself". As I got older I would usually pretend someone was forcing me to come. I guess there is a lot to be said about being hard wired from the begining into this lifestyle.
 
The first orgasm I ever had came while I was lying across a pile of pillows imagining I was over my Uncle's lap getting a spanking. After that I frequently incorporated some sort of play acting into masturbation, sometimes using rope or cord, or, as Spectre, articles of female clothing.
 
I think we all have our share of memories. I was lucky enough to have a neighbor girl to act out my kinky thoughts with. She only wanted to kiss me, in return. Silly girl. She was 10 and I was 12, when it all started getting really fun.

We played house, and I would spank her. I would sometimes hold her wrists together, and drop different things down the back of her pants. Sometimes it would be rocks to make them fall down, or Spruce tree twigs to stick when she sat on them. She wore cute little elastic summer shorts. In retrospect, I know she must have liked what I liked. It wasn't just so I would kiss her, did she go through that for me. Neither of us had any idea what we were doing. We just liked it.

I also remember her mother would be very strict with her. Her dad had died years before, and when she would be punished, her mother would grab her by the arm and take her inside. Then, her mom would come back out, and break a nasty limb off of a tree, and walk back into the house. No telling what happened behind closed doors.

And, all of that was over 35 years ago. I haven't kept in contact with her, but last I heard, she is married and living in northern California. I hope she is happy.

What we experience in our childhood has a lot to do with what we like in our adulthood.
 
Pins on my "I was a kinky kid" club button

I too experienced things of this nature. When I learned about the wonderful world of masturbation, I would imagine (in the beginning) that I was a high ranking officer in the military, and had to punish someone for their bad behavior. A flogging, a whipping, caning, or somesuch was the beginning of these fantasies.....they moved on as I grew older, of course, to tying the "bad private" up to her (alway was chicks) chair, or bed, or wall-unit, and then proceeding to the punishment, adding vice clamps, clothespins, and other things only served to spice things up. I never actually thought about it untill I read this thread, but I was always in the military, as was my victim. (who would beg to come, as I did)

I imagined the same military aspects, andplayed them out, with my friends in the neighbohood. As I tied up my girlfriends (age 10) we would play out this elaborate fantasy of being in the military. (and I'm anti-military, go fig, lol)

Good thread, Monster!

KW
 
I wasn't lucky enough to have a similarly curious playmate until I was much older, and then it was a bad experience because neither of us knew what we were doing. However, it didn't dampen my desire much.
 
From an earlier thread...
cymbidia said:
When i was a little girl, about 8 years old, there were LOTS of kids in my neighborhood to play with. Most of them were boys, as it turned out. (There must have been a comparable neighborhood someplace where most of the kids were girls, just to keep the universe balanced, don't you think?)

Somewhere in those middle-kidhood years, a few of those boys and i started playing "Doctor" in my bedroom closet. It was a very large closet, a walk-in space with a dimmer switch and carpeting, and a place that contained the sash of my robe, for example, and belts.

These boys (a bit older than me and up to about 12 years old or so) would take most of my clothing off, tie me up with whatever was at hand, and then "examine" me. They would touch and poke and push and spread and use flashlights and talk about me like i wasn't even there while they did it.

I have no idea how this illicit game began; i don't remember that part. What i do remember so clearly was the warm rush of childish excitement and rightness i derived from being tied up by them and handled and looked at and discussed in that way.

The game ended, as children's games do, when my mother found us one day. We all got in big trouble, of course, and couldn't play with each other anymore. I didn't understand what i did wrong to be honest; it all seemed to right to me. I nursed at my memories of the game, and kept the feelings of contentment and comfort and excitment and longing alive in my heart. For years, as i went to sleep at night, the memories would drift across my mind's eye and i'd want that kind of touching, that kind of forced immobility, again. The very first time i masturbated, it was to those memories.

When i was 15, the man who would be my first lover, my first Dominant, saw into my heart, into that secret dreamy need i'd kept alive for all those years.

The rest, as they say, is history.
My history, anyway.
Herstory?
:rose:
Click to expand...
http://www.literotica.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=72708
 
When I was 6 years old, some of the boys would play a chase and capture game on the playground. They would chase the girls and, every now and again, actually manage to capture one. Several boys would stand guard over the captive while the others would head back out for more chasing.

I vividly remember that one of the boys wore leather gloves and would cover his victim's mouth with his gloved hands as he captured her and dragged her off. I was fascinated with and deeply drawn to this game. The other girls would scream and run away... Me? I did everything I could to finagle getting captured without appearing to "want" to be captured LOL
 
This is probably for a whole different thread, but

this is interesting stuff, that childhood mind. We knew, but we didn't know. We liked, but we didn't know why. We didn't know it was considered taboo, because our innocent minds hadn't been exposed to that part of life, yet.

So, why do we have such trouble understanding our wants and needs in our more educated adult minds? It does make you wonder why some people think anything that happens so early in life, before the child even knows what is going on, is considered a choice that can be changed, or forgotten.
 
Re: This is probably for a whole different thread, but

DVS said:
It does make you wonder why some people think anything that happens so early in life, before the child even knows what is going on, is considered a choice that can be changed, or forgotten.
Click to expand...

Thank you, I think you've just given me an idea for a paper. Not that I need to write one; I'm not in college or anything (I plan on going this Fall, though), but it never hurts to have a decent paper handy...

:D
 
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