Mental Bondage

I don't think the topic has ever been discussed here and i'm wondering if anyone has any insight to offer.

Mental bondage is included in many of the partner checklists, but that is all the information i can find.


This is something that really intrigues the "kinky Psych major" in me.

We have tried this mg5.

I find it really hard to do.

Basically (and I hope I've got this right) the sub (or bottom) is put into a position by the Dom/me (or top) and told they must not move.

Sounds really easy until you come to doing it. I do move. Even when bound I twitch and buck and wriggle. I just can't help it.

Mental bondage to me can be torture.



Don't get me wrong ... I love it - just am not very good at it. Hmmmm and then, of course, Robuck is disappointed and has to spank me for moving Oh woe is me!

I have found that when incorporating the mental bondage as a immobolizing tool the sub must already be taken mentally to a state of calm that borders almost on the hypnotic.

For Myself that is achieved slowly by talking the sub DOWN..seriously..dead seriously...until the mind almost stops the thinking process...never in anger or aggressively. The trick in My opinion is the carress of the voice that is lowered rather than raised..a simple direction of don't you move will make it almost impossible to obey long term..The twitches are ALMOST inevitable.

I have not found it difficult to take a sub here and keep them here. It can easily happen simply on its own through the mind control that comes with the quiet seriousness of the moment.

Really good subject mg5!

i'd seen the entry on the checklists too and always thought, "i must think about that someday."

In response to your question i did some web searching and found a few interesting responses. Some were much like Shadowsdream has described, a sort of variation on playing "statues" or telling a dog to "stay".

(It does sound as if She has a rather well defined response in mind when She commands it though. *eyebrows bobbing* And i'll just bet She gets what she wants)

Other responses were quite novel. One spoke of being commanded to clasp her hands behind her neck, and keep them there as if cuffed while the rest of the scene went on.

Another was put on an "invisible leash" and not allowed to stray from a certain radius.

i'm sure that, like most BDSM techniques, there are almost as many variations as there are players. This seems to have some interesting possibilities.

I used to feel kinda disdainful about this, as if it wasn't "real" bondage or something. Today, though, i think of it as simply another way to add to the energy flow and stroke the fires between me and my partner.

I've had dominants i barely knew who did some of this on me, and those to whom my submission was deep, too. In all cases, it's a mindfuck (for want of a better term) and it's totally unlike being bound with leather and locks.

In this kinda bondage, it's simply will keeping you there. It's only my willingness to submit and obey and be what i'm expected to be coupled with my dominant's will to control me and expectation that i do whatever i am asked to do, immediately, and to the best of my ability.

I've been a part of mental bondage as seemingly simple as, "Put your hands up atop your head and do not move them no matter what". I've done it in public, too, as in, ""Stay within three steps of me no matter where i go or what i do" (Blue's invisible leash idea).

More and more, i like the idea of mental/emotional bondage. More and more, i like the feeling of such total and voluntary submission. Though i love and crave the feel of tightly restrictive bondage for hard play, sometimes - often - mental bondage allows a slip into a private headspace, just me and my dominant, during times and in places where such obvious bondage is not appropriate.

Aside from that, it's an overt expression of the control between us. I crave being controlled - and this mental bondage stuff, well, it really feeds that ned, you know? (However, if i slip, if i don't do what i'm supposed to do, i want my dominant to notice and disallow me that freedom, okay? Mental contorl only works if i obey, and if i don't obey, then my dominant has to see and correct my oversight. I test my dominants..like they test me. One has to know if one is safe.)

Standing in a corner, being told to repeat something, i.e."I am yours." over and again has lead to some intense scenes for me. When already "down", as Shadowsdream spoke of, the statement becomes a chant and my mind is free.

I do enjoy it and find that I can easily climax without physical touch.

Yes, a true mind fuck.

I'm liking hearing about this. Never thought about it being a form of bondage that you can use when in situations where normal binding would be frowned upon.

Interesting ideas.

dixi

Re: Really good subject mg5!

I have two labrador retriever puppies, one 7 months and one 11 months old. Telling them to stay is akin to telling them to recite the Gettysburg address. At best, to them it means running in circles in one small spot instead of whatever space it available to them without crashing into something. And if I get that, that's mental bondage.

DRxBlue said:

In response to your question i did some web searching and found a few interesting responses. Some were much like Shadowsdream has described, a sort of variation on playing "statues" or telling a dog to "stay".

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Re: Re: Really good subject mg5!

monster666 said:

I have two labrador retriever puppies, one 7 months and one 11 months old. Telling them to stay is akin to telling them to recite the Gettysburg address. At best, to them it means running in circles in one small spot instead of whatever space it available to them without crashing into something. And if I get that, that's mental bondage.

Click to expand...

This from a Monster who, when he was being constructed, they couldn't find a brain the same size as the skull.

They lined the skull with a thick layer of epoxy and soaked the brain in the catalyst. When the two were united, THAT was some mental bondage! Lemme tellya!::yanking necktie, sound of a rimshot::

Sorry, Triple Six-- i just couldn't resist. You'd have lost all respect for me if i'd stifled that one, wountchya?

I have what i call motion detectors, they are braclets and anklets (i also have hair ties, a belt, arm and thigh bands) made of pretty ribbon and elastic with silver jingle bells on them that are worn during mental bondage, so my Dom can make me assume a certain position and then ignore me, but if he hears a jingle he knows i have moved

Re: Re: Re: Really good subject mg5!

I get no respect......

DRxBlue said:

This from a Monster who, when he was being constructed, they couldn't find a brain the same size as the skull.

They lined the skull with a thick layer of epoxy and soaked the brain in the catalyst. When the two were united, THAT was some mental bondage! Lemme tellya!::yanking necktie, sound of a rimshot::

Sorry, Triple Six-- i just couldn't resist. You'd have lost all respect for me if i'd stifled that one, wountchya?

Click to expand...

Thank you all for the information. Is there any more out there?


I'm even more intrigued now than i was before.


lilredwolph, i can't imagine how still you would have to be for those jingle bells to remain silent. I've been "in charge" of them for several Christmas programs and it the tiniest movement makes them sound like church bells in an otherwise quiet room.

Another take

I have played around with hypnosis as a part of bdsm for years, so my idea of mental bondage is different. When I think of mental bongage ,as a dom, I think of the effect my words have on my submissive. I have seen a submissive totally in trance, and who would act like a chicken if instructed. This leads me to believe that hypnosis skills, are very interesting tools for a dominant. After all we are hypnotists. We take a trusting individual and lead them by voice commands into an imaginary world. This is called mutual hypnosis, similar to when lovers stare into each others eyes, and nothing else exists in the room except the two of them. I would argue that most scenes between a dom/sub couple ARE HYPNOYIC in nature. Thats my take on Mental Bondage. This is an area of play that fascinates me, and leads me to believe that play has no boundaries under the sun.

This is something I like.

I dont actually do it well, but I liked it anyway.

So, last night, my mostly-nilla fiance and I had our first go-round with mental bondage. Here's how it went:

Him: Would you rather have sex without romance, or no sex?
Me: Well, sex without romance, I guess. But what happened to sex with romance? Or romance without sex?
Him: Oh, I just meant tonight. I didn't mean in general.
Me: Yeah, me too.
Him: (avoiding that subject) How would you go about having romance without sex, anyway?
Me: Oh, I don't know. Backrubs, snuggling, storytelling, slow scratching... time and attention paid to bringing each others' senses to the surface.
Him: Hmm... Well, I'm not going to give you a backrub tonight...
Me: Darn.
Him: But we can do the "romance without sex" thing if you're willing to do it my way.
Me: *inwardly jumping up and down for joy* Okay.

Him: Now lie down over there (an inch away from him on the bed where we've been talking this whole time), no pillow, and close your eyes.

We went through the whole "Relax your toes, relax your feet, relax your knees, relax your hair follicles..." to the "Now feel the sheet on your tummy moving as you breathe." It was the same quietness that I reach through my own meditations, except it was being guided by someone else. Unexpectedly, I was turned on.

The best part was that he knew I was turned on. I didn't moan, or breathe funny, or wiggle. He just said, "If you want something, then enjoy wanting it. You don't have to have it, you just need to experience the desire."

Man, was I ever experiencing the desire!

But he kept going, with me all turned on, and eventually I fell asleep. So did he. I woke up from wildly erotic dreams at like 5:30, when he finally had to shove me back over to my side of the bed or sacrifice himself to the floor. I was so aroused! Still today, my senses feel heightened.

Okay, so it's not whips and chains, nor is it even particularly strong bondage (especially since I'm sure it wasn't intended as such), but it was very nice.

That sounds just lovely NemoAlia.

That Special Space

Sex really is in the mind insn't it. We can create such a very special space, through the things that we do. The TONE of a voice. The things that we do as REPITITION or the things that we do that are NEW and a SURPRISE. The relaxation technique works so well , as you have demonstrated, to get into that space where time just stands still. I have found that as a dom, (and I do write that as dom not DOM , as I am not a hard edge leather type, but more a natural leader instigator) how I THINK, ACT, TALK, PLAY, ARROUSE,TOUCH...."CREATES THE SCENE" it is my canvas so to speak. I give the mental aspect very minute detail. I spend days deveoping in my mind a script of how an evening will go. I rehurse it, imagine it , then go and do it. No it rarely goes as scripted (thats the fun) but it gets things started, It sets the tone. It opens her up to it. From there it is all just magic. I think that mental bondage is "it". From a romantic standpoint, thats wgat a relationship is, A MUTUAL HYPNOSIS. You learn to react together. It becomes a dance you do together. The exciting part of that is, that if your conscious of that fact, you can also become coreographer. It leaves you open to be able to take the scene anywhere you wish. It opens whole new levels of intimacy. tO ME THAT IS WHAT bdsm IS all about. Intimacy. It is not so much that we have intense scenes togehter, as that we have such intense and intimate comunication. All the worlds a stage. And all minds a blank script. What wonderful lives we can choose to live.

from what I'm reading here:

isn't it all mental bondage? at least, I guess it is for me.

I mean, I can always not let him bind me in the first place, and half the time I can get out if I really want to. If its not mental bondage both w/ and w/ out the physical restraints, it really doesn't work. (it would end up being either a joke or abuse- neither of which are really BDSM)

I am an absolute washout at the "mental bondage" thing. Early on, Sir and I discovered that I pretty much cannot enjoy truly "painful" sensations unless I am well bound so that there is simply no sense in trying to avoid it. Otherwise, my darn brain starts racing and telling me I am not being a sensible person, I should try to avoid this, maybe if I do such and such I can influence the event, etc. But if bound and Sir reminding me in that wonderful deep voice of his, "This is GOING to happen so just FLOW with it", then I realize this is true, it's too late to be "sensible" (ha!) and all of a sudden it becomes a different experience and many a time I have ended up flying off into a kind of dreamy mental place under the flogger.

-justina

I always thought of mental bondage as same as psychologial domination

But what do I know

*Shoulders in, rubs hands together* Wo Hoo! one of my favourite topics.

Alright, first, to train subbies for this particular variant, I respectfully suggest "Training Bonds" Put simply, this is a thin strand that can easilly be broken, but is to never be. I usually use #3 buttonhole twist (Really thick thread for those who don't sew), but dental floss is a more readilly available material.
As for hypnosis in BDSM, I could never trust myself enough to use it. I happen to be a fairly accomplished mesmerist, but it's a party trick, and no more. Once you start actually getting into mind controll, instead of simulating it, it's a slippery slope that leads down to abuse.
Power corrupts, and unfortunately, I'm rather susceptible. I know from experience how powerfull suggestion can be, and frankly, it scares me. This is the reason I don't do real bondage, and other things that could be abused. (Well that, and I tend to scare the shit out of people, so it's hard to generate the requisite trust.)
Now, I hate to plug a story on here, but it just happens to illustrate my point. When you've got a spare hour, look up "Doors in the Mind", and I think it will fairly well illustrate my stance.

Richard49 said:

I always thought of mental bondage as same as psychologial domination

But what do I know

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I would agree.

But do you mean it as a bad thing or a good thing?

I think if its consensual it is good. If its non-consencual (ie, battered wife syndrom) its bad. Sometimes its a combination. Some men who crave that domination and control in the bedroom where it is wanted, may carry it over to other ereas of the relationship where its not wanted. Maybe not abusively but maybe they are passive agresive or controling in other ways- attempting to use "phychological dominance" in negative ways. So I'm not sure which you where thinking of- but it sounds accurate

sweetnpetite said:

I would agree.

But do you mean it as a bad thing or a good thing?

I think if its consensual it is good. If its non-consencual (ie, battered wife syndrom) its bad. Sometimes its a combination. Some men who crave that domination and control in the bedroom where it is wanted, may carry it over to other ereas of the relationship where its not wanted. Maybe not abusively but maybe they are passive agresive or controling in other ways- attempting to use "phychological dominance" in negative ways. So I'm not sure which you where thinking of- but it sounds accurate

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Those here at lit that know me
(if you do not you can by reading my bionic dom thread)
know I NEVER endorse abuse

Richard49 said:

Those here at lit that know me
(if you do not you can by reading my bionic dom thread)
know I NEVER endorse abuse

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I understand that. I hope that I didn't imply otherwise

What I meant was, did you mean that "mental bondage" was bad (ie abusive) or just another aspect of BDSM (good). Or did I just read you wrong, and you didn't mean to imply good or bad, but something else?

From what I'm seeing "mental bondage" does seem to be the same as domination and submission. If its different, I'm going to need someone to explain how. (Maybe that's what you meant?)

sweetnpetite said:

I understand that. I hope that I didn't imply otherwise

What I meant was, did you mean that "mental bondage" was bad (ie abusive) or just another aspect of BDSM (good). Or did I just read you wrong, and you didn't mean to imply good or bad, but something else?

From what I'm seeing "mental bondage" does seem to be the same as domination and submission. If its different, I'm going to need someone to explain how. (Maybe that's what you meant?)

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Boy oh boy

I did not mean to imply a value on it
cause it is "assumes" that to be BDSM
it must be concensual

IMHO
if it is psychological it imuch harder to practice

Except for SAMs
much of BDSM is physical punishment and reward
centered

psychologial bondage
as I understand it
and use it
is more about what is happening in the mind

I know I am clear as mud