All Comments on 'A Day at the Zoo'

Why are we imprisoned ?!?

This is one of the best poems I have read on Literotica. It deserves its two favourites and also a higher score. The current score says more about the people voting than about the poem.

It has content and presence - so much better than empty form or pretence

as it stands or as a metaphor for incarcerated men - still the question's so often the same - 'why?' succinct, pointed, looks the reader square in the eye with that uncomfortable question.

Which is why I never visit zoo's, ever. So absolutely, totally wrong. Very well said

The sentiment expressed is entirely laudable, but that of itself doesn't make it a good poem. For examples, the word "two" is perhaps unnecessary, as maybe are"watch you and"

I am a bit undecided, so I won't score this one at all.

I thought a bit more about this one. The basic fact is that there are two apes, one either side of the bars. It seems to me that the emptiness is the issue both have in common, and that seems to me to have more potential than to merely make a judgement on the fate of one of the protagonists. I therefore felt that by stipping the poem to the absolute minimum the emptiness of both lives would be the message - but perhaps that's another poem?

attributed to war and caged animals. TK U MLJ LV NV

Eh. I don't know, I think gorillas are more often thinking: "when is lunch?", rather than "why?". I'm not saying higher animals (such as gorillas) aren't capable of a wide range of emotions. But we project a lot into them. They can feel content with very little, for there is a lot they can't understand, and "ignorance is bliss".

In any case, it *is* a valid thought (at what point of self-awareness does an animal gain the same rights as us, including freedom?), and your short poem sounds very good to my ear.

is not lost on me, though I personally think that there is some lacking when one goes at the posting looking for poetry. I wrote one similar to this, about a female gorilla at Riverbanks Zoo in Columbia SC.

She was sitting with her back to the plexi and watching an airplane overhead while stacking and restacking little poop cakes. She looked sad, and I realize this is or can be construed as attributing feels/ thought or emotions to an animal, but as one primate feeling empathy for another, she WAS sad, depressed, something and not just waiting on a meal. My husband and I were so distressed by this that we have never visited the gorilla exhibit since that day, years ago.

I am glad to read your work. Your soul and ability to empathize makes you a good poet. I would suggest some minor changes if you were to expand the poem, or some deletions if brevity is your goal. I give your work no vote because I am still contemplating the work. Keep writing!