- Non-Erotic Poetry
- A Long Song, I Will Not Write
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LEMONIA (F)LEAP EDELTRAUD => THE ULTIMATE BETRAYAL =>> DISENTANGLEMENT
HILLSIDE
EARLY MORNING (01:30)
THURSDAY
3/10/2013
A LONG SONG, I WILL NOT WRITE
I see the sky full of clouds,
I can't believe that summer's gone,
I have my swim and keep my doubts,
But I am on this beach alone.
This AVRA BEACH of my love song,
This Ferma Bay of my dream,
Everything right here, went wrong,
Some nights I come out and I scream.
Some other nights I play my flute,
Or let my cry through my guitar,
Then think of you and I go mute,
You are so near, yet so far.
Summer is gone and I must go,
Orion is my only clue,
You're still my dream of long ago,
I'm still so much in love with you.
I see the sky full of clouds,
I can't believe that summer's gone,
I have my swim and keep my doubts,
But I am on this beach alone.
Some German tourists just complain,
"It's getting colder", they say,
Poor guys, we may have some rain!
I am not sure, but still, we may.
My life in Crete I leave behind,
My love for you I keep inside,
From now on I will walk blind,
Hoping to go with the next tide.
The "Big South Weather, number four",
It's a long song I will not write,
Verses for it I have no more,
I came earlier home tonight.
- COMMENTS
Tsothaalmost 10 years agoVery nice rhyming, pelegrino. On the first stanza, I almost want to remove the "but" on line four, since all other lines begun with "I". To keep the timing (if that is a concern), you could insert an "all" before alone (I am on this beach all alone). S3L4 could use some padding, imho, to read longer and match the other lines in the stanza. E.g. "You are so near, and yet so far".
My favorite stanze are 2,7 and 8, they carry a lot of what is being said in the poem. Had a laugh with the bit about german tourists, too — it's always strange, overhearing foreign tourists' chatter, especially if they think they cannot be understood. They have completely different concerns...
