- Non-Erotic Poetry
- A Sundowner (poetry challenge)
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Click hereThe birth of wind
begins in the trees
an evening breeze
at dusk that settles,
nesting like fledglings
teetering on the edge
of spindly branches
tumbling,
eventually
swooping to embrace
a new day.
- COMMENTS
duddle146over 17 years agoThe whisper of the wind through the trees ~ it's vibrations speak of life uninterrupted.
Maria2394almost 18 years agothe first two lines are wonderful. The rest is good too, but wow...you really started with a bang and not a whimper. Now I Have this image of the woind being born and its a soothing happy feeling. thanks!!
The Mystery Valiantalmost 18 years agoBut I have some problems, Lots of feeling and good poetry essence. I just don't see a solid object. I still have problems with the lack of punctuation. Rhythm is solid and nice flow, but no POV. Point of view. No question that it flies..., but it makes no rest upon the earth. Needs to be grounded. Just a bit.
Anonymousalmost 18 years agoahhhh dreamy.... I love the first two lines, they dont get more poetic than that!
thanks for playing along in this challenge-- always good to read your work--
~annaswirls
Anonymousalmost 18 years agoand told with an economy of words ... each one counts and each has its place!
Well done!
Regards, DJ
My Erotic Trailalmost 18 years ago<grin ... excellent setting (~_~) beautiful poem, I miss your charming poetic writes <grin,
spindly... my word for the day <grin
Art~
