by yui
to see your poetry back again. A well developed metaphor of memory. I enjoyed watching this unfold, mentioned in today's new poem reviews
I'll never again be able to look at a warm pavement after a rain that raises these apparitions in quite the same way.
it's good, but not great,and i think it has the potential to be a great poem. There are a few too many extra words ( like this comment),
that if pared, it would make the poem clearer and not tangle the reader in a mess of adverbs and adjectives.
This being said, I did enjoy the poem.
I see Maria's point and rather agree with her. I think it possibly could be tighter in expression. But good, and very evocative, in any case.
What a hauntingly beautiful rendering. Something especially lovely about this one.
Poetry is the last refuge of writers who can't write logically and concisely. This writer personifies that, and compounds the error with a limp-wristed poem about ground fog. Whoop de doo! A pragmatic (legitimate) writer would have condensed this whole thing to one short sentence: "Turn on yer fog lamps, Pa." LOL
Ron123XYZ@foreveranonymous.naturally
This poem was mentioned in the Archival Review thread, in a picking through Lit's archive of over 35,000 poems.
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