All Comments on 'as you are sand and I am sea'

This is a graphically erotic poem of a higher-than-normal calibre - certainly, in my opinion, higher than any other posted today, and there were quite a few - but it also a sophisticated poem tout court period. At times, it feels as if it will slip out of control and lose to the realm of cliché, but that happens only in isolated verses - the overall structure of the poem is not clichéd. The pace with which it is handled is admirable, and there are some details - alliterations, near- and internal-rhymes, little word games - that are simply delicious to read.

Mentioned on the New Poems Reviews thread, at the Poetry Feedback & Discussion forum.

I love the rhythm of the words slapping upon the shore! Well done.

Flyguy

I really enjoyed your poem. Especially these lines:

"I ride

the tides

betide the times

warm night enrobes

in folds enfold"

They have a rhythm that just rolls off my tongue.

Thank you.

I really enjoyed your poem. Especially these lines:

"I ride

the tides

betide the times

warm night enrobes

in folds enfold"

They have a rhythm that just rolls off my tongue.

Thank you.

I can sea clearly now.

this is a really nice pen..bluerains

My favorite lines were:

strange relics

odd old shells

of our past

that color our future

The tempo of this poem laps like the ocean, and is soft and relaxed. Great job.

- suitep