All Comments on 'Avoidance'

A poet telling it like it is ~ not as it should be. Right On.

bows humble...I always enjoy your poetry

with its conveyance on the frailities of life. you've certainly captured the selfish human element very well. nicely done.....don

I think for the most part this is quite solid (though, in my opinion, the last two lines could be rewritten to pack more wallop - they don't match up well with the poem). I think you handled the rhyme fairly well, with it feeling natural and unforced in most spots - though the next to last stanza may not be a good idea, end-rhyming all three lines and breaking the pattern you set.

There are some edits:

cill = sill

to precious = too precious

humans = humans'

to horrid = too horrid

Interesting poem.

this reminds me of a trip to Baltimore and all the overpasses being built over the slums...hiding the dirt with concrete....just so the elite can have the waterfront for themselves...its really a shame to see such madness...ty for writing about a subject getting out of hand in this country...the past 8 years...bluerains

Avoidance, well named;

Avoidance of pain...