All Comments on 'being'

by doingmybest

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  • 3 Comments
annaswirlsannaswirlsover 19 years ago
~

ouch, raw. Hard to say "I like it" to poems this painful. One thing, upon reading this and your last poem, I noticed the use of rhyme is more natural and unobtrusive, but there were a few in here that made me cringe, thinking, "you do not need this" In a poem hard hitting like thins one, rhyme that is "forced" sticks out, and if it does, I suggest cut it off. Just my opinion of course.

LeBrozLeBrozover 17 years ago
~~

A bit of paranoia coming through here.

duddle146duddle146about 17 years ago
condition

An individual on the verge of being out of control.

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