by SpringBreezes
This is nicely done; a little risky IMO with the inverted syntax right out of the gate. I thought I was going to read a throw back Victorian poem with ruffles, flourishes, and excessive language, but that wasn't the case.
"You let me hold your clouds/that swirl and storm" I thought was the focal point around which everything revolved. Coming as it did in the middle of the poem allowed for a nice build up followed by resolution.
Or if I am adding my own spin on it, but the undercurrent of eroticism in the language added to the read, the assonance in this is also a highlight, well done!