by Liar
Forgiving the stressed esses, this one line is three beats too long: "that no muscle can fill". And, having created verses containing "mirrored beat lines", why abandon that format at the end?
The images were strong, and "carabineer" made me go to the dictionary. Thanks for the gift of that word!
I was here. (and feelin less than talkative today :D)
(thermometer left at default and does not reflect my vote)