Chasing Love

Poem Info
105 words
4.53
3.2k
0
Poem does not have any tags
Share this Poem

Font Size

Default Font Size

Font Spacing

Default Font Spacing

Font Face

Default Font Face

Reading Theme

Default Theme (White)
You need to Log In or Sign Up to have your customization saved in your Literotica profile.
PUBLIC BETA

Note: You can change font size, font face, and turn on dark mode by clicking the "A" icon tab in the Story Info Box.

You can temporarily switch back to a Classic Literotica® experience during our ongoing public Beta testing. Please consider leaving feedback on issues you experience or suggest improvements.

Click here

Deceptive magician
Sawing my heart in half
Promising me it won’t hurt
Leaving me with only smoke & mirrors.

Juggling my heart, my body, my sanity
Tender talent leaving me breathless
Foolishly I believed
You would never let me shatter.

Escape artist extrordinairre
How was it you were able
To escape the ties of love
Leaving me behind
Bound to your memory.


*Hey! Thank you to everyone who gave feedback on the original poem, it was really appreciated. As you may or may not notice, the ending is completely different (whether it is better or not I don't know). Please keep commenting & voting) Thanx!

Please rate this poem
The author would appreciate your feedback.
  • COMMENTS
Anonymous
Our Comments Policy is available in the Lit FAQ
Post as:
Anonymous
8 Comments
LeBrozLeBrozover 17 years ago
~~

Love's magician will saw your soul's heart in half ~ only this is a cut that hurts!

LilDarlinLilDarlinover 19 years ago
Breathless~~!!

*Tender talent leaving me breathless* ~ I just love this line. So much imagery, and emotion. This poem packs a punch, feeling it throughtout the whole body. Saddness, and yet love. Wonderful..More Please~!!!!!!

doormousedoormouseover 19 years ago
I didn't see the original

But I love this!!

I think you've done a brilliant job creating the illusion.

I'll have to keep an eye out for more of your stuff!! ;-)

Vampiric_MirageVampiric_Mirageover 19 years agoAuthor
Thanx to everyone who commented on the original!

Thank you to everyone who commented on the original version of the poem. Although it's taken me awhile, I've finally edited it enough that I felt it was time to resubmit it. PLEASE comment (positive or negative comments)! I appreciate all comments, and as I hope you may notice, I do listen to them, see *points at edited poem*!

Syndra LynnSyndra Lynnalmost 20 years ago
Very poetic

I liked it, though it's not as strong as some of your other offerings.

YDDYDDalmost 20 years ago
Hackneyed writing

Start again, saving only the second stanza.

The rest is very common and greatly overused.

The last line was a song.

tarablackwood22tarablackwood22almost 20 years ago
Very...

...strong. Here is yet another growing voice demanding everyone's attention, a poet whose work needs to be read by all.

lostandfounderlostandfounderalmost 20 years ago
I liked it a lot

The second stanza is my favorite. Wonderful image. In my opinion, knock out the 'the' in the first line. It will unify the whole piece.

Share this Poem