All Comments on 'Cheating with me'

by pacifist91w

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todski28todski28almost 10 years ago
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I am not a real poet wouldn't know a sonnet if it bit me. the start of this has intrigue first three lines really drew me in as a reader, then the very next line kinda snuffs it out, I should be all excited about lesbian strap on action but for some reason it seems to shift from a great opening line of showing to telling, as if you switch from poetry to prose, the rest of it from there seems to be an interior monologue but it isn't clear what is being thought. this has potential if you can switch up the focus from telling to showing. never an easy task.

thanksfor the read, wish they had a 3.5 option :)

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userpacifist91w@pacifist91w
I read and write romantic stories, complete with character and relationship development. A high percentage of my work is lesbian fiction. (That said, I have tried or will try writing almost anything!) It's rare, but I also do a bit of editing and proofreading. I love gettin...