All Comments on 'Climax'

by moonstormer

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  • 12 Comments
LeBrozLeBrozover 17 years ago
~~

Congrats on the little 'Greenie'

For a subtle piece of erotica with attitude.

FruFruover 17 years ago
Stick

Stick with the personal parts; the general things are cliched.

OutofKYGuyOutofKYGuyover 17 years ago
Well done.

I appreciated it. Euphemisms and analogies are key to poetry and illustrating. It also has a nice rhythm, one that, to me, gave a pace of loving as opposed to animalistic lusting.

sacksackover 17 years ago
nice pacing!

Not exactly sure it is at an "E" level, but I did enjoy the flow of this poem, and your very telling use of short phrases!

AnonymousAnonymousover 17 years ago
I can't say........

....I understand the E either but it's all a matter of personal taste, right? 4 for effort, that's not to say there isn't a far better effort to follow. Keep writing.

Tess

WickedEveWickedEveover 17 years ago
~

What Tess said :)

LiarLiarover 17 years ago
Nice stuff

I like. The whole poem seems slightly short of breath just like the scene it describes. A little too straight up smut in some phrases for my tastes, but each to their own.

To 'E' or not to 'E'? It's the choic'E' of the 'E'ditorial staff, not w'E'. :)

naxienaxieover 17 years ago
a delicious sliver

your poem is a delicious sliver of quiet ecstasy. i particularly love the lines:

waking up to

a desire

stolen away

by the day

only returned

in the dark

you deserve your E....you have a marvelous voice and clearly, even when you whisper, you know how to be heard.

LeBrozLeBrozover 16 years ago
~~

This poem was mentioned in the Archival Review thread, in a picking through Lit's archive of over 36,500 poems.

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avasogentlyavasogentlyover 16 years ago
Cardiac Moments

I experienced shortness of breath while reading "Climax," especially in the verse mentioning nerve endings. Thanks for reminding me that I have a pulse. As the orgasm plateaus, I would've liked to see elongated lines, but, hey, we don't all cum the same way. Cathartic!

KOLKOREKOLKOREover 16 years ago
CPR forever

All the curves and themoans were hot enough, but the poetic climax, which appeared at the last stanza, threw me off balance as well. CPR forever.

jinsaysjinsaysover 15 years ago
the bead of sweat. . .

the trail it runs. . .very inspiring.

I love the tangles feeling of this read, so many things happening at once, as it should be.

Very nicely done.

My very first read on this site...woohoo.

:)

Jin

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