by moonstormer
Congrats on the little 'Greenie'
For a subtle piece of erotica with attitude.
I appreciated it. Euphemisms and analogies are key to poetry and illustrating. It also has a nice rhythm, one that, to me, gave a pace of loving as opposed to animalistic lusting.
Not exactly sure it is at an "E" level, but I did enjoy the flow of this poem, and your very telling use of short phrases!
....I understand the E either but it's all a matter of personal taste, right? 4 for effort, that's not to say there isn't a far better effort to follow. Keep writing.
Tess
I like. The whole poem seems slightly short of breath just like the scene it describes. A little too straight up smut in some phrases for my tastes, but each to their own.
To 'E' or not to 'E'? It's the choic'E' of the 'E'ditorial staff, not w'E'. :)
your poem is a delicious sliver of quiet ecstasy. i particularly love the lines:
waking up to
a desire
stolen away
by the day
only returned
in the dark
you deserve your E....you have a marvelous voice and clearly, even when you whisper, you know how to be heard.
This poem was mentioned in the Archival Review thread, in a picking through Lit's archive of over 36,500 poems.
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I experienced shortness of breath while reading "Climax," especially in the verse mentioning nerve endings. Thanks for reminding me that I have a pulse. As the orgasm plateaus, I would've liked to see elongated lines, but, hey, we don't all cum the same way. Cathartic!
All the curves and themoans were hot enough, but the poetic climax, which appeared at the last stanza, threw me off balance as well. CPR forever.
the trail it runs. . .very inspiring.
I love the tangles feeling of this read, so many things happening at once, as it should be.
Very nicely done.
My very first read on this site...woohoo.
:)
Jin