All Comments on 'Ethereal'

But seriously, this sounds like lyrics to a Muse song. I think the ideas here are cliche and if nothing else, the repetition makes me tune out about two lines in. I don't know if the repetition even serves a purpose in this. It seems neat and kitschy, which is at odds with the fervent (albeit, hackneyed) themes of this poem. A good risk, but feels like you got in the way of yourself.

One I would suffice putting it on practically every line spoils completely what could have been a much better poem