- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Exit 7
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Click heredriving from desire to duty
vision obscured by the distortion
of liquid hope as it again
escapes
softening the crust of dried futility
and the salty taste of tomorrow
on unkissed lips
holding on to life
by nothing stronger than the
surface tension
of a tear
~ ~ ~
- COMMENTS
LeBrozover 16 years agoThis poem was mentioned in the Archival Review thread, in a picking through Lit's archive of over 38,500 poems.
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Bill Dadaover 18 years agoEvery word mattered and worked magic. The last four lines made the elephant disappear in front of a live audience.
~hellbaby~almost 19 years agoThis is wonderful, the line 'nothing stronger than the surface tension of a tear' grabbed me,it is so powerful. thanks
sackover 19 years agoprobably purposefully vague, there are many possible scenarios:
A mistress going to work after sex, Exit 7 is her work exit.
A newlywed girl leaving her husband after their first night as a married couple, again Exit 7 is the work exit.
A couple about to separate/divorce, this was their last night together. Exit 7 is the exit to the woman's new home.
A lesbian couple that cannot stay together for various reasons, one of the women is getting a job in a new state, Exit 7 is the exit for the new job.
Of course, we don't know if the protagonist is DEFINITELY a woman, but since a woman is writing a poem, I'm assuming a woman is suggested here.
Good job, Impressive! (Perhaps I should have made this a poll?)
Anonymousover 19 years agoperfection. loved this poem. your words convey so much in such a short piece. kudos gorgeous.
foehnover 19 years agonobody mentioned the *title*. This is a *great* short poem, but ye gods, didn't you get shivers up your spine when that title came to you? It works so powerfully for me ... am I off-track? I'm re-examining the way I title things. Maybe I'm just getting weird in my old age.
annaswirlsover 19 years agoThe words of this poem are tense and intense, beautifully written... (I cannot believe I am going to say this, as I struggle so much myself) but you might consider changing the line breaks.
Liarover 19 years agoSuch a tense, dense write. The last lines are just perfect:
"holding on to life
by nothing stronger than the
surface tension
of a tear"
