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All Comments on 'Fizz'

by Fru

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  • 2 Comments
LiarLiarover 17 years ago
Cheers!

Simple yet effective use of a metaphor. Well done.

The middle part (you grab the tabs/and I'll twist,/I'll soda and pop for you/I'll fizz) is best. You could actually edit out the rest, and still have a helluva hot little poem.

WickedEveWickedEveover 17 years ago
Have to agree with the lie guy

Get rid of what's hanging on and keep the good stuff in the middle.

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