All Comments on 'Full moon beach'

by varioral

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tazz317tazz317over 12 years ago
TO LOVE ON SHORE

while tides and time gather. TK U MLJ LV NV

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
Eroticism and nature...

Its an interesting theme...

AnonymousAnonymousover 8 years ago
As a mature woman I do not see this is an example of a fine poem

it filled with pseudo poetic words and misused metaphors -- I give it a full moon - let me explain why. Feel free to disagree or please educate me.

Full moon beach

A safe, secluded, sandy, beach - trite sophomoric start

Enclosed by weather beaten rocks.- you just said it was sandy, rocky beaches are not, and why a period used here?

The weight of the moonlight, light is weightless unless you are a physicist

Falling soft upon bare skin

Breaths mingle

Four limbs wobble down as two. wobble? gait? one carries another?

does this mean sex? another period?

In ensuing entanglement,

Down to the water's edge

The cool outside

The melting warmth inside. why a period if thought continued in next line

Is like coming home,

From a fierce storm - how so? a fierce storm cools inside and out

The gentle waves

In their infinite rhythm

Bring us closer to the edge, - sexual illusion ok

Of the safe enclosed space - the edge of beach or climax?

To where the big breakers - the breakers are far out, not at edge of closed space?

Writhe and pummel breakers crash, bodies may writhe, not waves

The jutting outcrop of rock, - maybe an erection metaphor?

With their timeless passion - rock has passion???? or the breakers?

To the edge and back

Time and time again

Flirting dangerously close,

To the point of no return - sex again? or waves?

Beyond which

Primeval currents take over - what is a primeval current ? misuse of word?

And lead,

To unknown shores - is this the Polynesian theory of navigation

Some succumb - waves?

Some survive

To drift away, - waves don't drift, objects drift

To a distant shore

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