All Comments on 'If you were Beautiful'

for toture or shame. TK U MLJ LV NV

secrets sometimes reveal the wonder

of everyday comfort and a low maintenance

lover. We, who are unbeautiful spend

time on learning the art of pleasure,

not makeup. I much prefer to know

how my touch makes my lover's heart

skip a beat rather than how to perfectly

pluck my eyebrows or blend foundation...

I really like this poem. Perhaps one little suggestion:

I cannot lie next to you

Five.

"Sighing as deep as I am shallow'

I kept reading that over and over.

Wistful, painful, gutting. Makes me wonder about sacrificing self-respect to a lover out of sheer need.

I love these lines:

"hide you away like a sin

Or a drug habit"

(but I would suggest the Or should not have been capitalized).

This stanza needs some work, and I agree with a previous poster about the first line.

"I cannot lay next to you

without waves of desire

impaling

sighing as deep as I am shallow"

Your capitalization is rather haphazard. But that's merely quibbling, when I consider the effect the poem had on me.