In the midst of blue

the ability to visualize is never greater, TK U MLJ LV NV

Relaxing. I dislike beer, but I was there as well.

"lazying on a sunny afternoon..."

nothing wrong with that... beer is sufficient and description very imaginative, I personally don't want anything "deeper".

5ed.

On Mirror Lake. I was with you the whole way, just wish I could've had you pass me a beer.

The first time I read this was in the forum. I think it was a different version, though, and I'm not sure whether this is the edit, or the version I read on the forum is an edit. Or maybe I'm just confused.

Anyway. I remember that, the first time I read this, I couldn't tell you were talking about the ocean. I think there wasn't a title, and I don't think there was any mention of beer, either.

I forgot where I was going with this comment. Oh, right. I was going to say that I liked what you said, about the colors' mingling being meaningless. I kinda agree with 1201 here, in that I feel you were halfway through delivering some statement, but the description took over. But then, I'm pretty sure there are poems by twelve, and I, and everyone else that are "just" descriptions. Yo, 12. What's the problem with descriptions? (Alas, he'll never see this question.) Anyway, "mingle meaninglessly"... Reading that line, I feel you were about to tell something *more*, something really deep and meaningful... But then again, beer. :-D

Press on. Think about what you are showing and telling and try NOT for the poetic the STATEMENT. Would have been nice with a twix candy bar, cause the beer alone don't bring it down to earth.

It looks like you are writing poetry for the sake of writing poetry;

in this sheer vastness

that caresses continents

i.e. the wisp need a twix

Didn't vote.

.....here. Voted. Nothing new to add as criticism. Well done.

Nature !!! Excellent production values , Tod !

where you likely think you have tortured these words to death, right? We've all been there--still go there sometimes! But you are thinking about images instead of descriptions now and for that alone you deserve the five. I can see, too, that you're considering line endings and how they support what you're trying to say. I like how you've balanced "weightlessly" and "meaninglessly," even if they are dread adverbs. :D I think maybe something like "carelessly" instead of "weightlessly" would have tied the two words together better, but maybe that's just my preference. And of course the last line pulls the whole poem together.

I'd continue thinking about which words are precise and which are unnecessary. If a word is not adding meaning or structure to a poem, you can probably lose it. For example, "sheer" is adding what to "vastness"? And "vastness" is a kind of empty word, not just by definition, but it's not specific. Use a thesaurus if you must to find the word that best fits what you mean and best works in the poem. It's a part of the "poet's toolbox" that helps develop your craft.

Dunno if I've mentioned this before, but the title is excellent. It tells the reader what the poem is really all about and that is the point!

Ya good line there Tod. Nice imagery too.