by Desejo
Roasted cardamom pods and cloves stir the air in a glorious orgy
Slow food is as good as foreplay
As a man that loves food and other activities these two lines delicious!!
just the right amount of naughty to get the mind running away with possibilities.
pity my critiquing is limited however I love this.
Yoni , Des ?! Beautiful imagery !
(sorry, a bit of inside joke)
you'd like annaswirls,
in context, Des, there is something similar in the writing approach in this and the another to annaswirls (she went for the jugular) Here it is the title, and last two lines)
in context, Des, I think I'm falling in love.
Let's do lunch
(and I can tell you how my hands tremble when I try to draw her)
yeh 5ed
...the way you casually meander through the senses, sound first, rain and rhytmn. Then sight, the rose and open lips, next exotic un-London scents. Lastly the deft way you insinuate sin with the mention of his wedding ring and his naughty finger. Bravo! 10 if it were possible.
1201 is right that your writing reminds me of Annaswirls (please take that as a compliment: I am a big fan of her poems). Love the way you take a whirl of senses--the rain, the raga, the rose (did you intend them to alliterate?)--and then reduce it all to those powerful last lines and that startling erotic image. There is a special talent, I think, to writing erotica and you have it.
Thanks for the wonderful read. :-)
give a hint of theatre,. no other way to explain how I see them. nice.