All Comments on 'Life, It Must Be Structured.'

I think the repeat works pretty well, sounds like a mantra. I do not like the capitalization at the end. I understand why you did it, but do not think it is effective. It looks more forced and affected to me. Just having the line again, by itself this time, would be more effective, I think.

Yell it from the tree tops.

Sing it to the stars.

Curl up with it on rainy nights,

And hold it in your arms.

Great rhythm there. Nice job!

you poem was mentioned on the new poems review thread

but "comas" should be commas. A coma is when you're unconscious. :)

Will the structure of my life

loosen while I muse

on what you mean

the structure of life to be?

Spontaneity structured,

or perhaps, structured spontaneity,

or even, structured content evoking spontaneous worlds

Will my musing digest the sinews of my life

(the sinews that bind the structure of my life?)

as demands of continuity drift unheeded

past their point of purpose to become regrets

that murder spontaneity

perhaps

structure in words

bubbles from a chaotic sea

a frozen momentary truth here and there

while I slip inexorably

through the holes in the structure

thus unhindered by structure

chaos washes through the structure

neutral to my needs

Note to the Lady Malachite: So I tried a verse structure in my comment, but he system ran it all on with no line breaks. Thus, having no control on structure in these comments and the structure of my comment being integral to the comment, I submitted my comment as a poem on my own page. I've called it "Will my sinews loosen."

This is one of those poems which have their most powerful effect after you finish reading them and later start thinking about the broad implications of the questions they raise. It is proven by the wonderful comments/poem by lorencino. So how about a poem which inspires readers to write poems?