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Click hereI look down through the glass
And all I see is little people
They run around like mice through a maze
And the dollar is the only thing that matters
Their values gone, their hearts and souls
Sold to the God of Getting By
And they have no idea
That getting by means living
Such drones, such sick and hopeless creatures
To think that life has been reduced to paper
And that the only way to live the dream
Is to lay victim to it
I see it all the time, sometimes in myself
When I look in the mirror
And the cold night wears on
And I find myself thinking
That if I simply succumb
I will be set free
Surrender is for pussies
For those who lack heart
For those who lack honor
Surrender and suicide are synonymous
For even if you do not die
You do not live
......the line breaks this would be prose. I agree there are some nice phrases and the idea is good.
Tess
these are good to great lines
"Sold to the God of Getting By"
"And that the only way to live the dream
Is to lay victim to it" - possibly could be modified.
Most of the rest, a little too obvious, some preachy
A five, but only on the assumption this part can be eliminated from the poem:
Surrender is for pussies
For those who lack heart
For those who lack honor
Surrender and suicide are synonymous
For even if you do not die
You do not live