- Erotic Poetry
- Naked Semolina
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Naked Semolina
Lay there upon your bed
of spinach, Florentine
I wait with bated breath your chive exhale
This hour brings us rushed and rouge
upon a lavish table spread with honey
minted lamb and grape and grain
One presence still required before
the feast of pastas can begin
What sauce crave you, my naked Semolina?
splash her with abandon, knave frenetic spoon
complement her splendor with a mixture
Prince Alfredo, here to consume you
nakedness your favor, I accept as pure and fair
But your maiden in attendance
bears a slight resemblance
a parmesan remembrance of a lover
from east al dente, olive princess, Angel Hair
I come to spoil you with my richness
my butter cream shall grace your long and lean
and men will crave our tastes combined
throughout a long and torturous day
Peasants dream through grog and gruel
a pity they shall never taste
your wickedness covered, Alfredo sauced
Semolina waits
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- COMMENTS
Anonymousover 19 years agojean, this is really good, some of the phrases are strange, but good in a different way. I love your work, but what is a knave frenetic spoon?
dreamsweetalmost 20 years agothis line: "Peasants dream through grog and gruel" I can see leering eyes in that line.
Tathagataalmost 20 years ago~But your maiden in attendance
bears a slight resemblance
a parmesan remembrance of a lover
from east al dente, olive princess, Angel Hair~
The words and rhythm and inter rhyming...
knocked me out.
A great poem
clever and fun and meaty
Thank you
perksalmost 20 years agoFirst of all, loved the title. Secondly, found your content interesting. I don't know what "your chive exhale" means. It sounds cool, but it lost me. "rushed and rouge" why didn't you match verb tenses?"rushed and rouged"? That was a little disconcerting too. Made me trip over my words and flounder in the semolina. I wish the line "minted lamb and grape and grain" lost the first "and" and went with a comma instead. "minted lamb,grape and grain". Instead of "feast of pasta" I wanted "pasta feast". I don't know why "knave frenetic spoon" is even in that whole stanza, it works without it, and I'm not confused, because I know what all that other stuff means, but "knave frenetic spoon" not a clue. In fact, without that, I absolutely love that whole verse. Your "attendance", "resemblance", "remembrance" assonance was witty. "butter cream" is a known frosting, and I don't feel it fits with the whole pasta thang you've got going on, but that's just culinary content.
It could use a bit of tweaking, but I think it's a great start, and it looks like you had lots of fun writing it. Nice concept.
Angelinealmost 20 years agoHaha I like saying NJ, cause yknow I'm from joisey. Your poem is witty and funny and just flows wonderfully. I really like it. :)
