All Comments on 'Peacetroopers'

again, another stunning poem, wonderful as always!

so wordy that it doesn't flow...

nice simile of warriors and husband and wife lovers. Made me think of Glen Campbell’s “Such are the dreams of an everyday housewife” and Burt Bacharach’s “Wives should always be lovers too!”

My comments to anon: ”so wordy that it doesn't flow...” Did you need a dictionary or is your problem just sour grapes! Agreed, the panties are sexy as all get out. But did you notice the crucifix on the gusset!

Now that is an image and a half, Manray! Works so well with your poem about keeping a marriage in tact! which I understand to be the subject matter of your poem! PBless you!

JS

My husband was in the Army when we met, and so much of your imagery made me think of that time in our lives. Thanks for the smile.

...mentioned on the thread; "New Poems Review"

thanks for the literary journey (~_~)

takes me back to “Challah, hallah…” and your ‘kneel at her altar’ theme. Each unique, each a different direction as to when and who should kneel. This one suggests ‘kneeling’ goes both ways. And it does…! Impressed again!

Candice

took a while to see the cross necklace. could use some more contrast? a more clear photo? what happened to the voting?

Your fellow poet is on record as stating that until Lit poets (you know who you are) stop downvoting him without cause (outside of sheer pettiness), he will turn off the voting option when its voter ratio drastically reduces within a ridiculous amount of time. Solution: stop immature behavior and I hope that the voting option would remain open. The crucifix is crystal clear to anyone who has a fair and transparent eye; the contrast is good and the photo is clear as day! Man Ray, another excellent illustrated poem! I would have voted 5! My question: whatever happened to that other illustrator?

Dialogue between the anon commenters is very telling. Back to your poem: Man Ray, I think highly of it and its saucy image! (I will display my panties and cross and see what happens!) Happily married for 17 years, I would call myself a ‘peacetrooper’. Funny, I never considered myself one though I wear proud scars. I confess I did grab my Webster and thank you for that too. Learned a few words; I should have paid more attention in Latin class.

Adriann

oh I guess that he turned off his voting *after* his fans came and he got the red H. I did not know you could do that! There is no pettyness on my part. I just do not think that it is that great of a photo. But it is swell that he has such a great team to support him! Every artist needs one, unless it turns his eye blind to criticism from people who do not necessarily have a connection to him, but do have a valid opinion none-the-less. No agenda, just an opinion just like everyone else. I would have given it a 4, but got here too late after the voting had been turned off. If I worried about such things, I could have done the same with my poems, which lost their H's in their second days :)

Golly, such comments! Are they 'feedback'? Here's mine: Another superior illustrated poem, Man Ray! You continue to raise the standard bar (and seemingly the dander of other poets). A shame really. I suspect that raised dander is the reason voting is disabled. As to the red 'H' matter, you addressed that bang on in a most abused thread. You spoke straight to the core of it. ‘Poets’ that 'POP' in merely to leave irrelevant comments rather than 'feedback' as we are encouraged to, I say engarde! Especially those that are obviously urged to do so by others. I did not have a chance to vote. Would have been a 5, Man Ray! A fan club? Do they exist? Where does one register? As for feedback, I see plenty; for the most part positive. Keep on it, IB

it was to me.

The first anon has a good point, but this was so over the top.

The second anon sounds like one of the shit stirring assholes, who can't stand anything beyond the fan fiction unreality of the comments around the H paraders.

Leave your friggen names, both of you.

It is nice to see you break out from your hyperrhyme. It's good, the big words do get a little excessive.

"Peacetroopers" I take at face value. Some commenters/poets chose to be warriors. The irony is too much! I feel for the beleaguered panties. The elastic must be shot to hell. Glad they are under the watch of the crucifix. Nevertheless, a good poem, nice graphic and I (like the commenter from QLD) am more than okay with the ‘less obvious’ choice of words. It made me think which in the end made for a good read. I would have given it a score of 5.

TS, PA

There are 3 reasons that I really can't see that this submission is a perfect illustrated poem.

1) Your word choices are at odds with the image of the panties. I don't know what you're trying to evoke here but you're welcome to explain.

2) Poetic license is taken far too frequently and often I'm left scratching my head as to why you keep referring to songs for wedding nights and bridal couples. I suppose the metaphorical battle is begun on that night? If that's what you mean, there are a few dozen better ways to get your point across than to make up adjectives such as prothalamic.

3) What's up with the cross? No atheists in foxholes? If so it is a clever inference and the only thing that redeems this poem, but that alone is not enough to create perfection.

I see 22 poems posted between the 11 – 12 November, some of which are quite good. Why so few commenters for them? Would it be safe to say that some underground messenger has been busy calling upon the brethren to read "Peacekeepers”? I count 14 comments thus far. I’d say controversy makes a good poem and I know little if anything about what makes a ‘perfect’ poem. What is clear Manray is that you provoked your readers to crash and clash like never before and that ought to be worth something. JRycroft

One of the best poems I have ever read at Literotica! Combined with the photograph (a wonderfully erotic shot reminiscent of Helmut Newton combined with the formal elegance of Margaret Bourke-White), this is simply an unbeatable combination.

And the words! What can I say? Please please please turn voting on so I can vote this an enthusiastic 5! You are a true artist!

This is my suggestion of a reframe to any creative author who suddenly find him/herself beleaguered by seemingly petty/irrelevant critique.

1. Like any strange /out of place exchange, if it continues - it is probably not about the “official” topic.

2. Most likely, intentionally or not, you hit one or two raw nerves/ painful issues. For any creative person this should translate into a cry of: “GOLD” or “BINGO” (and potentially could inspire the next creative endeavor).

3. it’s an honor to impact that many people. It does not really matter how irritating; disturbing; intriguing the responses are! As long as they find your name in the long list of poets, than leave a feedback, something must have made strong enough of an impact to move them to respond. A creative person’s goal is not to please every one, quite the contrary. If there is enough of meaningful mass brought with it, it could be expected that there WILL be some controversy with it; some people liking it and some that don’t. Those that create a unanimous cheer are usually quite forgettable or have run their course. Think, if you were to go back to the beautiful series of the flower poems (without radically changing the format there), I bet you would get much less annoying feedback. But, would you feel that you are pushing your own creative envelope? Would most of your readers prefer to come back to repeated themes, or would they prefer to share an evolving experiment? Fortunately, if you read it through this lens the answer is clear. You hear many supportive responses; and you hear some critical comments; and then you hear more noise and stir up which is less easy to understand (no identified relevance to the poem). Overall, a resounding vote in support of discovery.

4. If I were you, I would thank every person who specifically explained their vote, regardless of your agreement with the point. The reason - at some level, there is some thing to be learned from every response. Probably more so from those which take a critical view.

IMO this is one of the less problematic poems as far as relations between text and image goes. On face value, the images are visual metaphors to the themes in the poems. There is even a name for this type of metaphor it’s called metonymy and it refers to the use of a single characteristic to identify a more complex entity. Here it’s the traditional marriage as one of the most important institutions of organized religion and the female underwear simply convey the main theme of the sexual encounter.

True, there is a grain of truth to your complaint, only for me it’s a source of joy. The reason it goes beyond two metaphors (and why I am looking for a better name rather than ‘Illustrated poetry’) is that there is an added value that plays in a more complex but also a more open ended way (being visual) with the text. The cross is also a concrete golden cross of a certain style and shape, strategically placed on said underwear. Not only has it created a totally independent visual layer of meaning: erotic humor; irreverence; provocation. But there is a new level of language – image interaction. How about the peace troopers, or is it a paratrooper (my association), given the positioning of both the cross and its chain – which this time seems like a small image of a trooper. It looks as if it has just landed, almost camouflaged by the lines of the female underwear, into the heartland of the desired enemy territory.

The big strategic question remains - are we sure who actually wins when a successful invasion have been completed? Silly me, of course I know the answer to this one.

One of the risks of using an external source for words is that one gets caught up in the *definition* without understanding the *meaning*. Readers are only impressed with big words if they are used correctly.

Fly

I have one more external word for you, how about "jealous"?

Do you think you need a license to understand the meaning of that one?

This poem isn't good, but the panty picture is sexy. If you still had voting as

an option, I'd given you a score of 3. Also, one other thing, with all the

anonymous commentary on your poem it makes you look a bit of fool.

however do I cover twenty-one comments? The number alone is a testament to what in the end proved a lively poem. Better titled it could be “Stormtroopers”. Lively I can work with; thank you.

To those of you who took the time to read and offer constructive substantive comments, thank you! To those of you who introduced yourselves and shared why the poem resonated within you be it memories/favoured songs/personal experience etc, thank you.

My Erotic Trail, thank you for the "New Poem Reviews" inclusion and your considerate comments therein.

Now over to you, KOLKORE! Without doubt, you are a dedicated unbiased humble New Poems reviewer. Literotica and those who post are blessed and I for one am most appreciative. What is most exceptional is that you organise your thoughts then give in a clean, fair and transparent approach. You do your homework and it shows. Your valuable reasoned observations act as a mentor. You extend remarks in a respectful and encouraging tone and I for one hear you. Finally, your two qualified critiques answered a good number of comments. Thank you for visiting “Peacetroopers”!

Man Ray

All I can say is those are the ugliest knickers I ever seen.

a delicate material!

1. I understand that one could find the ‘knickers’ ugly, especially if one could not do them justice. Surely justice is due to the knickers!

2. Images are subjective.

3. Anon comments are flimsy!

Pax!

Man Ray

A planned invasion of his favorite ladies' panties(knickers) whatever. Poem reads like a major assualt; but this one takes place in Lustland instead of a battlefield. Fun to read.

Now that has got to be one strange relationship if it is viewed as nothing less than armed conflict until the joy of post-orgasmic bliss. If a serious relationship, they'd best try for counseling because all the sex they can handle won't fix their problems.

Now that has got to be one strange relationship if it is viewed as nothing less than armed conflict until the joy of post-orgasmic bliss. If a serious relationship, they'd best try for counseling because all the sex they can handle won't fix their problems.

and you don't want her catching a cold and getting a runny "you know what"...Well done, I thought it was a brilliant presentation.

enter into the brink. TK U MLJ LV NV