All Comments on 'Ravaged'

by chilosahatak

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buttersbuttersover 12 years ago
in a short write like this...

there's always the danger of distracting the reader by splitting it into two separate and unrelated sets of imagery; here you have the ragdoll one - which works quite well - but then you slip in the filly/equestrian/fuck which doesn't work with (or contrast in such a manner as to bounce off) the other. you could easily stay with the doll image and solidify that. it really is just a matter of space, i think... in a longer piece there's room to direct the reader's imagination to various images, but it's always a good idea to see how they can work for eachother.

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