All Comments on 'Relief # 2'

This is just so good, so well done.

Congratulations

ventilator as you so accurately capture the emotional numbness , upheaval 'n total experience of bereaved left behind relatives & friends in any hospital all over the world . 5-ed .

I don't think there are many poets who can pull off blank verse like you can, Demure.

I like the way you employ grammatical structure in the poem such that I think it avoids the tendency for sing song lines that iambic pentameter can sometimes produce. The diction, too, mitigates against that IMO. The words are powerful, gut-wrenching choices: "trickling," "sad rhythm," and "lasting feature" of the assisted breathing all convey the long horror and resignation, and at least resolution, if not peace.

I felt somewhat resigned myself by the poem's conclusion, which is to say it very much affected me.

Descripiton of the fight for life, the mixed agony of the watchkeepers, the composure and dignity that can come with death. You are an artist.

Great control of language and imagery to connect readers to experience.