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Click herePlanted when we moved here, it evolved
into spring's welcome from the narrow road
when I came cycling home, its branches stiff
with blossoms, a pink signal in the sun,
reminder of those early days, its straight,
firm branches slanting upwards past the eaves,
across the dull brown tiles and in the hall
we switched the lamp on when the post had come
as light came filtered through the thick green leaves
and we swam from the kitchen to the dim
cold living-room, until at last it grew
too dark, and, branch by branch, we took away
spring's joy, purveyor of the instance I
so often used to demonstrate my class
the difference some commas will show them: trees
which grow in front of your window ruin your view.
except for the (relative) location of the tree
Smart & incisive !! High 5-ed .
First two verses were quite Betjamenesque in feel and set the reader up for the final verse. Enjoyed with a smile - well done.
I love smart word play in a poem but am aware it can be risky when overdone. I don't think that's the case here.