- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Run Run Run Virgin
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The wind twists brown grass
and sways sun covered branches.
Birds sing scolding melodies
as moans disturb the calm.
Firm peeks sway toward the mottled light
enchanting the clean wood.
The cacophony of floral lure arouses me.
No, I must not take what is pure.
Leave me virgin,
run
run
run
to your father,
in his arms your gift is safe.
I will soil the earth.
- COMMENTS
greenmountaineeralmost 13 years agoThis is intriguing. The last line works well as a climax, either meaning of which is intended, I presume. The whirling wind I thinks works well as a metaphor for passion that is rising and approaching the point of no return which you end abruptly. I'm assuming the object of your affection is the virgin, but the absence of a comma in line 9 suggests that you are. The comma, of course, would have meant you were addressing her (I assume it's a she; stereotypically, girls run home to their father, not boys, and boys are known to soil the forest with any number of body fluids). Without the comma the sentence grammatically would refer to you.
Good poem.
Desejoalmost 13 years agoThis is a bit creepy, but had enough in it to make me reread it a couple of times and think, question. Two things that I would change: "enchanting" ...and then "your gift is safe". Something about those two things increases the creep factor because they bring to mind fairy tales. If that's the intention, fine.
