- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Sea-otter (for Angeline)
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Click hereHis mind, sensing self-doubt,
seeks it out, pursues it down
the twists of a metal tube, bursting
like blood in a glass jar.
With the air full of smoke and sweat
the others toil to keep up with the
coal-train as it squeals and
growls and belches its way
above the tree-line, across
canyons on creaking trestles,
hoping for a watershed, a thought,
a favourite thing to bring this
gut-churning journey to an end
by calm waters where they can contemplate
the sea-otter embarked on his
lonely voyage of self-discovery,
cracking certainty with a stone
balanced on his breath.
- COMMENTS
bogusagainover 13 years ago...fascinating. What this poem is about I don't know, though I don't feel that is necessary, it keeps me glued to the end so by my measure that's a good poem. I agree with 1201 growl and belch is weak and cliched but no one should get away criticism free.
I'm guessing the poem is something to do with lumberjacks and a timber train heading for the coast. I remember seeing a timber train almost two miles long in Canada BC 30 years ago but that's got nothing to do with this poem.
Liarover 13 years agowith pretty pieces
that I can't quite put together.
Not sure what's what in the opening lines, but from a third down and to the end, it all slides into place. The ending, as others have said, is top notch.
twelveooneover 13 years agoas always good, for me a mystery.
Here is your low point:
growls and belches its way
not bad for the low
Ending, fabulous
100 btw
buttersover 13 years agobeginning to end. and what an end... those lines are breathtaking!
the noise, the push and the shove and the momentum, harshness, turbulence .. all held up against that moment, that pinnacle of absolute 'stop here and breathe'-ness.
and am left wondering... who, or what, exactly, are the 'others'... you got my mind working on this one, friday. loved it!
