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Click hereSexy Rachel
Rachel was busty, curvy, sexy but very religious
She wanted to join the church and be a sister
Harry, her neighbor, was handsome and debaucherous
Lustfully, he dreamed of Rachel and masturbated to her
He sent across to her a delightful invitation
In the hope of getting a chance to fuck her
She fell for his sweet talk and lovely erection
Naked, she slept with him, and became a mother
<br>Your first poem, written recently, is a new venture for you and given time I'm sure it will all work out. Your obvious intelligence, on display in all your stories, has not deserted you here except I get the feeling that you have not really thought too deeply about the nature of poetry. Poetry can be many things and very different things to different people but, unless your are some kind of remarkable protege, it does require some forethought to be effective.<br><br>
You are going to have to take some time out to learn about the nature of poetry, if your poems are going to be more than clever and actually engage the soul of your reader. Having read your other work published here, I'm convinced that you have it in you to be a good poet, but it requires work. Champagne82 has responded to your thread, "feedback on my poem" with some really practical advice that you can use as a jumping off point for your study of poetry. Welcome to a wonderful addiction.<br>